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Topics - IceMountain

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Dear Socrateaser / Changing schools again
« on: Apr 17, 2005, 12:33:17 PM »
My ex informed me last week that she will be moving again and my son will again be changing schools.  My son is 7 and this will be his 4th school change.

1.  He started Head Start at school A
2.  Continued at school A until October of Kindergarten
She was then found to have lied on enrollment papers about her address and was told to either move in the district or my son would have to leave the school.
3.  My son started attending Kindergarten in the school district he lived in, school B
4.  In August of last year, my ex moved to school A's district and my son attended 1st grade in school A.
5.  When my ex moves she will again be living in the district of school B.

Is there anything I can do to prevent all of these school changes?  I spoke to my lawyer last year because I felt she was only changing schools to try to prevent my summer visitation (school A is a year-round school).  My lawyer told me that since she was the custodial parent I couldn't do anything about the school switching.  Is that correct?

My son lives in Iowa, I'm in Wisconsin.

Dear Socrateaser / Need help with child support appeal please
« on: Apr 26, 2004, 01:53:28 PM »
Hi Soc,

I submitted a request for modifying my child support in February in the state of Iowa.

I received the paperwork back, which was dated 4-6-04.  The support was modified in my favor, however I appealed the decision because they used my overtime pay and did not use my ex's earning capacity or the Federal Median Income.

My ex does not work, but I do not believe she is receiving state assistance.

I received the appeal paperwork back today and they have denied my appeal because of the following:

*** Income used was year to date as overtime was included in 4 out of 5 pay periods.

(according to Iowa Code overtime cannot be used if it is speculative and uncertain and cannot be used unless it is mandatory.  I submitted a letter from my employer stating I was currently working overtime, but that it was uncertain how long it would last.)

*** Income information supplied by the custodial parent and verified through other sources.  Median income cannot be used.

I contacted CSRU of Iowa for an explanation and was told using median income 'is not necessary' and that my worker would review the information and call me back.

The paperwork states the following:
If we decided not to conduct a second review and you do not agree with our decision, you have the right to request a court hearing through the Unit or you may petition the court yourself.  To request a court hearing through the Unit, send your request in writing to this office within 30 days of te first Notice of Decision which explained our original decision.  (this was dated 4-6-04).  The Unit will then supply necessary materials to the court for judicial review.  The court will notify persons subject to the order of the time and date of the hearing.

Here are my questions:

1.  Why wouldn't they have to use my ex's earning capacity or median income?  Could there be special rules that apply since she has been on state assistance in the past?

2.  Can they legally use my overtime pay?

3.  If I request a court hearing through the CSRU, it is my understanding that I do not need to file any paperwork, is this correct?

4.  If there is a court hearing, do I need a lawyer to represent me?

Dear Socrateaser / Child Support Appeal, please help!
« on: Apr 10, 2004, 12:18:44 PM »
Hi Soc,

I got my new child support order mod papers today.  They are modifying but I don't think it is as low as it should be.  

1 they inputed my ex's income as zero which makes me responsible for 100% of uncovered medical expenses.  She is no longer on state assistance, don't they have to use her 'earning capacity' for her income.  She has another kid and her income is actually a negative.  She is a CNA but chooses not to work.

2 they used my overtime pay to determine my child support.  I haven't worked overtime since the pay stub I submitted with the mod papers.  I thought they couldn't use overtime to determine child support because something to do with 'slavery' to working overtime.  All they did was take my YTD income and use it to compute the child support.

I can't find the Iowa statute that would cover me for the overtime issue.  Can you help me with this?  I found a couple Iowa Code sections that deal with the 'earning capacity'.

Thanks, Soc

Dear Socrateaser / I need help fast!!!! Please!
« on: Apr 01, 2004, 02:38:11 PM »
First, I'm in Illinois, she is in Iowa.

My ex and I came to a verbal agreement concerning transportation.  Since we live 200 miles apart and our decree does not address transportation, we agreed on meeting points, etc.  I put the agreement in writing for which she refused to sign.  I then sent the letter to her certified mail with return receipt.

Our decree states have my son EOW from 5 to 5.

Today, I get a letter from her that was sent overnight delivery.  She states that the agreement was just a 'temporary compromise' and not permanent.  

She stated in her letter that I can now pick up my son at 5:00 on Friday and return him on 5:00 on Sunday.  She will do no driving.  In return she will do all the driving during my 6 weeks visitation.  

She also refuses to do any driving for holiday visitation, which is usually 9-6 on the day of the holiday.

If I drive to pick him up what happens if I don't return him?  I'm crossing the state line.  The courts and CSRU both know my address and have been informed of such.  Since transportation is not addressed, does she have anything to hold me in contempt for?

I have my son this weekend.  I cannot be at her house at 5:00 because I don't get off work until 2:30 and it's a 3 1/2 hour drive.  Can she deny my visitation if I am late?

I already plan to take a witness with me.  What else can I do???  I need help and I need it fast!!!!

Parenting Issues / Normal Anxiety?
« on: Aug 01, 2005, 12:21:52 AM »
My son is 7 years old and going into the 2nd grade.  He has what I always believed to be 'normal childhood fears'.  I picked him up today after he spent a week with his mom.  She is the CP.  I am exercising my summer parenting time with him.  He has spent 4 weeks with me and we are starting his fifth and final week.  I'm concerned that maybe what I thought was normal may not actually be normal.

My son is completely afraid of the dark.  For example:  Tonight we were at my parent's house.  I was sitting in the living room with my mom.  My niece walked down the hallway towards the front door so my mom asked my son to go check on her.  He got to the edge of the kitchen and just froze.  We were about 10 to 15 feet from him in a well lit living room and he walked to the edge of the kitchen, which also had lights on, and just stopped.  He would not go any further to retrieve my niece because the hallway was not lit up.

I asked my son to take a shower while we waited for pizza delivery.  He has troubles turning the handle on the bathroom door and usually asks for help.  (When my 17 month old niece is here, we keep the bathroom door closed.)  I started the water for him, gave him towels and shampoo and walked out closing the door behind me.  He opened the door back up 'just a crack' and wanted to shower with it open.  He said he was afraid he would not be able to open the door again.  Sometimes when he is in the bathroom and can't get the door handle to turn he starts to have what some might call a panic attack.  He gets all nervous and just starts yelling.  When we open the door for him he will just have a look of panic and relief on his face.  

Earlier in the night, my son was having some problems with gas.  I asked him if he needed to try to go to the bathroom.  He said 'no' but I asked him to please try.  He went in but came running out of the bathroom in less than a minute.  I asked if he had taken care of business and he said he didn't try, but went pee then gave me that 'please don't make me stay in here' look.  I asked him again to please try and promised I would wait right outside the door.  He did go back in and took care of business, but was not comfortable until he knew I was right there.

This afternoon we were at the in-laws house.  My son and I went to the basement (finished) to look at some stuff of my father-in-laws.  My son was standing 2 feet from me when he heard a thump from upstairs.  He jumped and literally ran to my side.

This is just one day's worth of him freaking out.  The homes we were visiting we visit often so it's not that he's not familiar with them.  In fact, we lived with my parents for almost a year so he is very familiar and should be very comfortable in that home.  

Another thing I've noticed... the last two weeks that he was with me, as soon as it would get dark he would want to 'go for a walk or a bikeride or something', anything to get out of the house.  He would claim he wanted to go exercise because 'I need to lose some weight' (which is another totally different issue... his mom is on weight watchers) but would not want to do these things until dark.  I have no problem exercising with my son and we did go for several walks at this time, but when we get back it's let's play this game, let's watch a movie, etc. etc.  Again, I think it goes back to being afraid of the dark and going to bed even though he has a small lamp we keep on for him in his bedroom.  I remember when I was about 12 I would hate being home alone at night.  When my parents were gone, I would sit outside in the yard or on the porch.  For some reason I felt safer there than in the house.

It is seriously causing me to be concerned but I don't know if I am over-reacting or if this is normal for a 7 year old.  I am the NCP.  He reacts the same way in my home as he has today at his grandparents homes.  I'm considering putting him in counseling, but am afraid I am over-reacting.

I do not intentionally make my son go to areas that will make him uncomfortable.  The hallway and bathroom should not be scary places, especially when there are adults within 15 feet of where you are.

At first I would tease him that if he would stop watching Buffy and Angel and scary/freaky movies with his mom he wouldn't get so freaked out at little stuff.  I really thought that was all it was.  Now I'm not so sure.

Can anyone shed some light?  

General Issues / Texas Court Records
« on: Mar 16, 2006, 08:15:48 PM »
Can anyone tell me if you can access Texas court records online??  If so, can you direct me to the website?

General Issues / Attorney not responding??
« on: Feb 04, 2006, 01:52:22 PM »
Normally my attorney is very good at getting back to me.  We communicate mainly through e-mail because of my work hours.  

We had negotiations a couple of weeks ago.  My attorney sent a pre-trial statement to me that I did not think reflected the negotiations, or 90% of my proposal.  It also only addressed visitation issues.  

I sent her an e-mail last Tuesday about the pre-trial statement and trying to clarify what was going on, etc.  

Two days later I received a letter in the mail that was dated Tuesday.  It requested financials, asked questions, etc. and was signed by her assistant.  I replied by e-mail, and asked if my attorney was out of the office, etc.  The assistant said she would follow up on the new info with my attorney and inquire about the other e-mail I sent.  She also said my attorney has been 'tied up' with court appearances.

It's been almost 2 weeks since the first e-mail.  No reply from anybody.   I left a message a couple days ago.  Still no reply.  The only thing I've received is a billing statement dated the same day as my 2nd e-mail.

I've already spent $2500 on this attorney.  Court is 5 weeks away.  I can't complete my financial affidavit until she answers my questions about the forms.  I'm going out of town in 2 days and I'm pretty irritated that I haven't heard back from her.

Sorry for the rant, but am I panicking over nothing???

General Issues / Tax Form 8332
« on: Jan 29, 2006, 08:15:28 PM »
My ex is dragging her feet on completing this form for me.  We had negotiations 1 1/2 weeks ago and I gave her the form in front of both of our lawyers, along with a child support printout.  (the printout doesn't show the total amount for the year, but showed consistent payments) Her lawyer advised her to contact CSRU asap to confirm I was current, and get the form back to me, which she is stalling on.

Does this form have the same rule as w-2's, where they have to be mailed by the 31st of this month?

General Issues / Interrogatories
« on: Jan 16, 2006, 01:03:12 AM »
My lawyer submitted a set of interrogatories to my ex.  They were due in December.  My lawyer received them about 2 weeks after the due date.  I received the copies last week.

The interrogatories are not signed.  Her lawyer attached a letter stating he would try to obtain my ex's signature and submit it when he has it.  She also did not sign the financial affidavit.

While reading the interrogatories, I found many 'misrepresentations' or outright lies.  She also did not attach any of the documentation that was requested.

We have negotiations in a few weeks.  Some of the lies I can prove, some of them I cannot.  

Now what do I do?  What is the next step?

General Issues / Interrogatories? Please help!
« on: Nov 02, 2005, 05:35:32 PM »
I am in the process of modifying my current decree so I can get more time with my son.  We go to court in January.  The biggest issues are that I want the whole summer minus 2 weeks, shared school breaks, shared transportation, holiday weekends rather than days and basic accountability and fairness to both parties.

What type of interrogatories and information or documentation should I be requesting?  They need to be mailed in the next week or so to be able to make deadlines.  What would be the 'norm' for this type of case?

Also, I want my lawyer to have my ex prove child support accountability. (I know, big dreams!)  Anyway, she is not too keen on the idea because she thinks my $$ can be better spent on other things.  She also thinks a child support abatement in the summer is a bad idea because the CS office WILL screw it up, according to her.

Any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated!  I've ordered a couple books, but am awaiting arrival!


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