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Looking for opinions.

CP and NCP had a child 8 years ago.  Parties never married.  Paternity was not established.  CP relocated and did not allow any contact with NCP and the child.  NCP has received very little information over the past 8 years regarding the whereabouts of the child and has only a few pictures obtained through other sources.

Fast forward to now.  CP is facing prison time for theft, drug use and forgery.  NCP has been served with paternity papers from the state.  NCP is not sure what is going on, or why papers suddenly served.  Could be child is a ward of the state, in foster care, receiving state assistance.  NCP does not know.  Paternity test is next week.

If CP indeed goes to prison, how likely is it that NCP could gain custody?

NCP also has a record for drug use and theft.  NCP travels for work.  As far as the state is concerned, NCP is 'legally separated' from current wife.  (in order for NCP's other child and wife to receive benefits)

CP is in AZ, NCP is in IA.

NCP and wife think custody is going to be easy and are already making plans, talking to the other children about the possibility of having a new brother, etc.  

These are all the details I know.  All opinions appreciated.

I agree 100%!  The child needs to be taught responsibility for the truck his mom served up to him, unfortunately that responsibility may need to be proven by working for mom.  It may not be ideal, especially if mom and son have a strained relationship going into it, and son will most likely resent the situation rather than be open to any rewards.  

I also agree that mom probably had her feelings hurt.  Mom has a position open, feels betrayed by son who she gave a brand new truck to, etc.  But, if mom owns something like a beauty salon for example, I could definitely see why son would not want to work for her.

If you take the child without the mom's permission you are putting yourself at risk.  Even with mom's permission you are still at risk because the current court order places primary care with mom and you may be violating a court order by returning home with son, especially if you cross state lines in doing so.

Changing custody is a tough battle.  In my state you have to prove that you can provide superior care over the other parent and that a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child has occured.  One fight among mom and son does not fit that criteria.  Now, if there are other issues going on that you didn't mention, and that follow the criteria, you may have a chance.  But remember!  The child's choice is not the only deciding factor in changing custody.  It may be a factor, but there has to be more to it.  The courts won't disturb custody because of dispute like this.

Just my opinion.

We have a date this month for a modification in Iowa.  We've been through mediation and had negotiations with our lawyers.  The court date if FINALLY fast approaching!

All of the court documents and evidence are in my lawyer's hands and my lawyer if preparing my witnesses.

The biggest part of my case is more time with my son.

What else should I be doing?

Any useful hints from others that have been in the 'modification' shoes?

Any advice on what to, and what not to, do?

?????????

I posted to Soc so I'll wait and see what he has to say.

I never realized that we would have trouble getting this info.  I assumed I had the same access to this info as to his medical and school records.  I need to do some research.

Thanks!

I sent a requesst for records to my son's therapist, who I also have met with personally.  The request was sent through my attorney.  I followed up on the request with my attorney because it had been about 6-8 weeks since the request was sent, and she in turn called the therapist's office.  

Apparently the therapist is not willing to disclose session notes, but she is willing to send a 'summary' of their work.  They claim they have not worked on custody/visitation issues with my son 'lately', but they were working on these issues as early as November because that was when I met with his therapist.

Is this the norm with therapists?

Can the records be subpoenaed?  We go to court in 2 months and I want to have the records for trial.  I have an e-mail out to my attorney, and I'm waiting for a reply.

Any opinions would be appreciated!

Well we finally got a court date!!  Problem is the checklist of issues we're allowed to address does not cover all of the issues.  I have sent an e-mail to my lawyer about that.

What I need to know is, now what?  We are doing a modification so I can get more time, school breaks, longer holidays, etc.

I used the samples on this site to develop a comprehensive parenting plan.  What else will I need for court?  What types of witnesses will I need?  Records?  Documentation?

I have just over 2 months to get ready for trial.  I've spent 2 years preparing, writing the parenting plan, documenting, recording conversations, etc., but now that I have a court date I feel like it's a whole new ball game!

How do I research cases to see what is happenig with cases right now?  I've tried before and I can find appealed cases, but not regular cases.  I'm in Iowa.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

My questions for you are....
1.  Can you prove the Meth addiction?
2.  Can you prove she leaves the children to fend for themselves while she sleeps... neglect?
3.  Does she do the meth in their presence... child endangerement?

I would definitely get social services involved.  Report what you have stated here.  Your children can be tested for meth.  If they test positive, in my opinion, you would have a very strong case for custody.   Child endangerement via meth is a serious thing (it's a regular appearance in the newspapers in my area).

Make sure you document everything!  You need to be able to prove your case and that the court would be acting in the best interest of the child by awarding you custody.

Your children are so young to be taking care of themselves while the mother sleeps.  This is a very dangerous situation for them to be in.  I truly hope social services will get involved for the safety of your children!  My heart goes out to you.

I had this same question after a run-in with my ex.  My lawyer told me that if she were to show up at my home while I was working that my wife was to let her know that she was trespassing and if she didn't leave my wife was to call the cops.  Under no circumstances was my wife to open the door to my ex-wife.

Our order does not have a ROFR clause in it.

Does your state have a website to check court records online?  I can follow the filings in my case by visiting the court website, so you might want to try that.

I'm not sure how helpful calling the clerk of courts will be.  I've only called ours once to find out what was in an affidavit and was told that I had to contact my lawyer and have my lawyer contact my ex's lawyer to find out.  My lawyer just went to the courthouse because my ex is pro se.

Dear Socrateaser is another of the message boards on this site.  Scroll to the top of the page and click 'Jump to another Forum'.  You can choose Dear Socrateaser from there.  As the previos poster stated, make sure you read his posting rules before you post.