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Good luck- it sounds like you have an iron clad case. I wouldn't budge an inch on the fees or anthing else...stand strong- rest on the facts and let BM suffer the consequenses.

That has to be a very tough decision to make. I would say- perhaps you can document it and hold on to it? If she agrees to all of the things you want in the divorce and you get your decree exactly how you want it- then you can just leave it alone...if not, perhaps it can be a bargaining tool???? Not black-mail, but  a motivational tool to get make sure everything is equitable?

I think you are also right to not date- you must play by whatever rules you expect her to follow...only makes sense.

Remember to include the money and always put dollar amounts. We made the mistake of putting "mother is responsible for the cost of school lunches"- and she tried to weasel out of paying anything, since her income qualified SD for free lunch. Didn't work out, thank goodness, but could have been a real bitch if it had.

I would go in with a VERY clear plan as to what you want and don't bend unless necessary. Don't take what she offers- the two of you made this child equally- she doesn't have ownership of him. I sense that you have a bit of a weak spot for her, since you refer to her as "mommy" and "momma"...don't let your guard down- she will see right through it and take away all of your time.
Let us know how it goes!

Seriously- what's she going to do- show up at court and admit that she's in this counrty illegally. He is only a citizen because you are a citizen...it sounds awful but use her alien staus to your and your sons advantage..if she decided to flee, or she gets deported, you may never see him again.
What does your son think of that idea?

Why is it that you are willing to give up on having physical and legal custody. It sound to me like you could do joint on both- if you live that close together. Don't let that "tender age" crap stop you- he is 50% yours too- you have every right o have him just as much as she does. If you are involved and loving and willing- there is no reason for one of you to have sole anything...take a stand with her!