Messages

Ask that a GAL be appointed to represent the child's best interest. They will interview your son and others involved in his life.

Is son talking to therapist about the things his mother and grandmother is doing? Get a copy of the therapy notes- make sure the records are certified copies and submit them as evidence :)

Good luck :)

Talk to Soc and to your attorney. I would ask your attorney before this gets too far (like tomorrow) and I'd find out if the papers she sends you are worth the paper they are written on.  Has she been trustworthy?

I think Soc answered a question a while back about changing custody and what's agreeable to both parties and what the law procedures are. You might wanna go read some of his posts....

If he has a history of being abusive towards you and you reasonably and honestly feel that you or your child will be harmed if you try to leave(divorce), talk to the magistrate about filing an emergency protective order against him.

You can file for an ex parte hearing based on the TRO. If granted, they can/will probably provide a temporary order re: child custody, visitation and support.

I don't believe legal aide will help you get through all of the custody hearings, let alone the divorce proceedings. You'll need a family law attorney.

If you play your cards right, ie: wait till tax refund comes in- deposited into joint account- withdraw $$ to retain an attorney, file TRO order, ex parte hearing, etc- you'll probably be in a very good position to keep the house, get child support and alimony/spousal support .  But if you're not careful with the way things progress, he can turn things on you and put YOU in the hotseat.
 

Good luck.

Don't show your hand to your opponent!!  ExParte hearing means 'immediate hearing without notification to the other party'

I would just keep my lips sealed from this point forward. She can come grab your daughter before you have your hearing and you will be sunk.

[MOST IMPORTANTLY I would get with an attorney, post to socrateaser and get all your ducks in a row.]

MOST IMPORTANTLY I would get with an attorney, post to socrateaser and get all your ducks in a row.

Just my thoughts here:

Dad's court order states he gets the child for x amount of time during the summer, right?

Not to be too sneaky, but technically, wouldn't DAD have the legal authority to keep the DD during the summer, 'to exercise his court ordered visitation' if mom tried anything to keep her? Dad could keep the child long enough into the summer  to get past the 6 months needed to change jurisidiction and file for change of custody. (school activities, summer vacation with family, friends, etc)

 Also, since neither parent nor the child are living in the state of Florida, Florida should relinquish jurisdiction to the state the child has been living in (dad's state).

Mom hasn't met her 6 month residency requirement in her new state. At the end of the 6 months, child will have lived with dad in their new state, mom in her new state without child. Child will have no significant ties with mom's new state.


It's possible you may be able to file an Ex Parte hearing for custody based on the fact that mom 'abandoned' the child with you, hasn't picked the child up and has moved from their home into another state without notification to the court, child or other parent.

If you move forward, I would also go to the Child Support office and show them proof of the child living with you (via school records) and have child support stopped.

You would need to look on your court order or call the courthouse where it was issued to find out what time limit there is for appealing the order. It's usually on the last page of the order.

Usually 10- 30 days.

Piece of advice. BITE YOUR TONGUE. Do not display anger towards her. As hard as it is to grin and bare it, you've got to show them that you are the better and more stable parent.

If it comes to her lying, discuss the issues but remain calm. Remember your son is depending on you.

By your post, it's hard to tell when you lost custody to the mother. You could have and should have appealed the decision when the ruling came in. I am pretty certain if you appealed the case, it would go before another judge in a higher court.

If this issue is brought before the court again. I would ask the court for a Guardian ad litem to be appointed  for your son.  A GAL can investigate the situation and talk to your son and determine the child's best interests. Clearly if your son is going to go down hill with his mother, and speaks so confidently about being with you and not living with mom, the GAL should take that into consideration. He's old enough to let his wishes be known.

Emancipation is another story. He'd have to show that he is self sufficient, complete with good school grades, a stable job, vehicle, etc.

Exactly.

I only say that it's basically worthless, because of my past experience.

>I agree with all your advice. However, I would disagree that
>the mediation agreement is worthless. If it were me, my
>argument would be that the two parties had agreed that shared
>parenting was in the best interest of the child in the
>presence of the mediator and after discussing all the issues.
>That clearly addresses the state of mind of both parents.
>
>Now, you have to ask why the children should be put through
>another change simply because of the whims of the other
>parent. Unless she can cite some significant change in
>circumstances, her willigness to change her mind for no
>apparent reason means that she can't be trusted to supply the
>stability the child needs.
>
>That argument by itself won't win the case (parents DO have
>the right to change their mind, after all), but combined with
>everything else (5 months of shared parenting, etc), it might
>win. Basically, set yourself up as the stable one who's trying
>to provide a nice, stable, steady environment for the kids
>while the ex is flip-flopping around and trying to throw the
>kids lives into an uproar after they've finally settled down.
>
>Unless there's more to the story than has been presented here,
>that seems like a pretty strong position.

Combine all that with the fact the mother states she signed something she had no idea what it was. Can we say incompetant, poor judgements, instability, etc?

The mediator drew up the papers, was a witness to everything and got both parties to sign to what THEY agreed to in the sessions, right? What exactly did she not realize she was agreeing to?

Unfortunately, I know first hand that what they agree to in mediation doesn't hold water if they back out. Ex did that too. Mediation agreement isn't legally binding until signed off by the judge, I believe.

You could have the atty question the sudden change of heart and why she feels that what she originally agreed to and the children have been accustomed to for the last 5+ months should suddenly be changed.

Have the children had problems? Have the children been doing better/worse, indifferent?

Best interests to the children is to maximize their time spent with both parents. That's the best interest.