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Checking court records last night over bf's divorce that has been ongoing for nearly four years...

It said:

STATUS: REMOVED - REMOVED FROM COURT'S CONTROL.

This is California.

Any advice is appreciated.

If a notice of intent to revoke a license is issued and the official date of revokation is August 2008, what exactly does that mean???

Does that mean that there is an intent to take the license if the  situation isn't resolved by August or does that mean that the license is revoked from the date of the letter?

Other than paying the arrears in full, does California offer other options?

There has been a lot of discussion on this board about the current system not working.  Please feel free to post your response and elaborate on any issues that you are having with the current court system regarding child support, child visitation, etc.

but I wanted to share something with all of those NCP Mom's out there, that have basically experienced poverty, and near homelessness or homelessness through no real fault of their own.

I don't really know why I feel compelled to tell this story, but I am.  I think most of all, those of us going through hard times, custody battles or whatever, need hope. I want to share with you something that will certainly help provide that.

Back in 1999, I was working as Network Engineer on a Y2K project, making about 180K a year.  Pretty wonderful money, no doubt. Well, my ex caught wind of it, and since he lost his job for stealing from his company, he decided to use the last of it to fight me in court for the youngest of our three children. I am sure, as I have been told, he viewed me as the cash cow.

The battle completely drained me of all my savings, and in the end, I found he had paid off the necessary people to win the case.  I was forced to send my son to an environment that was unhealthy.  I later found out that the perfect couple back in SC wasn't so perfect...

And my own marriage ended 3 weeks after sending my son back to SC, as my then husband met a girl online and took off to KY to meet her.  It was one of the most horrible times of my life.  

I ended up without any money, had to sell my house, and moved from place to place with my youngest son, wondering where it would all end.  

Finally in December 2004, a lady I knew offered me her home. I got into it with hardly a dime and no money down. It was a tiny little home of about 800 square feet, but it was a place to call home.  My son and I were elated. About 6 weeks after I moved in, Januaury 2005, I got a dream job with dream pay.  And by the summer of 2005, my son got on a plane and told his dad he couldn't take it anymore and came back out here to live with me.

None of this was easy. I constantly remained in contact as best I could...I snuck out to SC to see him without his Dad knowing...and I would mail letters to him, knowing that he often checked the mail before they got home, timing those deliveries to happen on weekdays.  I always remembered his birthday and holidays...no matter how broke I was...and even when I didn't hear from him for months on end, I still send those cards and letters...sent pictures of us, as well.

It all paid off. I want you to know that it can pay off for you, too.

And today I am in a brand new home...some 1800 square feet with my two youngest sons.  And I have a wonderful new man in my life, too.  

It can happen for you, as well.

;)

And would you believe his father said..."I am not giving you custody of him."

OK...so I haven't figured out what makes him think he can retain custody of a 16 year old kid that lives 3000 miles from him.  I guess it's the demi-God status he believes he holds.

No matter, I am going to file for custody and request CA take jurisdiction over the matter, as that will be his home state in December.
He can come out here and argue his status.

I know I am no longer a NCP, but I feel my presence here might benefit some NC Mom's searching for ways to stay in contact with their children.

Don't know if any of you remember my story...

Big changes....

My son is coming back to live with me. No courts...Dad is tired of dealing with a teen and honestly, he's done a pretty crappy job with him.  

He is going to meet me on vacation and fly home with me.  

I just wanted to share that with all of you.

I am currently involved in a custody battle.  I have a child with a former boyfriend who never wanted anything to do with her.   When I filed for child support, her father decided to file for custody.  The father is telling the courts one thing - that he can be a better parent, etc, meanwhile telling me that he will hurt our daughter once he gets visitation if I don't drop the support.  How can he do this and how can I stop him?  Help.

My daughter just got engaged to a long time bf and I must say, I couldn't be happier for her.  I am so proud of all that she is and all that she has become over the years..

She just graduated from college and moved into the house she built not too far from Monterey, CA, with her fiance.

She called her father to tell him the good news and ask if he would come out here to give her away.  In her own words, he laughed and said, "what makes you think I would give you away when you haven't even asked me to come to the wedding?"

So she backtracked and asked him to come to the wedding...and his reply????

"Not if your Mom is going to be at the wedding."

She told him he was immature and she really wished he could get past himself long enough to see what he was missing in life...

(He also refused to come to her college graduation, as he knew I would be there).

Now, tell me...please...

There is so much life that is going to happen in the next few years....weddings, possibly grandchildren...not to mention the son on the east coast's graduation from High school (that I most certainly will attend, no matter what)....

You know, I really wish that we could our differences behind us and make these last few years work out for all the kids.  I know it can be done, as I coparent so very well with my youngest son's dad...we are actually good friends.

I wish there was a way to convince him of this but I just don't know how to do it. I have tried to talk to him on the phone...wrote him a letter but I have run out of ideas...and I feel very sad for my daughter, who really wanted to be given in marriage by her own father.

and I like his tactical planning...:)

After his little talk with my ex, it looks like we might be doing the Dr. Phil show after all!  I will keep you updated!

pushed up against the wall in one of his SM's outrages...she told him she hated him and wished to hell he would leave.  What was my ex's reaction to the outrage???  Punish my son for upsetting her so much! After all, he must be responsible for what they are feeling, right?

I will never be able to understand why she took her trust money to help my ex find the most high priced lawyer money could buy to get custody of this child. I mean really, if these kids meant so much to him, why did he never even try to see the older two on a regular basis??  Why did he only fight for the one child?  I often wonder how they must feel about all of this...how hurt they must be over it.

And now that they have him...he isn't wanted. It's breaking my heart.

He told his sister that as soon as he is 18, he's packing up and moving back out here with us, as far away from his SM as he can possibly get.  I told him there would always be room at my house...with his favorite hot chocolate and popcorn waiting for him....whenever he feels he needs to come.

What else can I do? This is so very painful.

I would really like to talk to you about some ideas I have for contacting my son. My daughter has informed me that my ex and my son's SM have actively and rigorously been PASsing my son.  I can feel it in the conversations I have had with him and I want to get some ideas on how I can intervene before it's too late.

I also have some other things I would like to get some ideas on and I do believe the brainstorming session would be great for all of us.

Regards,

Olanna

I got a call from the producer of the Dr. Phil show...they want me to do the show concerning my son that I have no visitation with!!!!

I just have to get Dad to agree to go on the show....

;)

child by the courts, other parent or both?  Do you have contact with the child in spite of the efforts to stop you?

Please share your story...I will share mine.

My daughter and her hubby have a home down near Monterey. They have been renting it to a couple, and let's just say, they haven't been on time once with their rent.

They gave them less than 30 days notice before they left, and because their checks always bounce, they refused to take checks anymore from them, only cash, cash deposit into their account with receipt or a money order.

They claimed to have deposited the July rent with late fees into the account and gave the kid's a receipt..and signed an agreement to pay for a pro-rated amount for August.

They lied..the money deposited into the account for July was in a check, which didn't clear. So now these kids are out $2000. They were calling his cell phone, but he wouldn't reply, and the same with the woman. I had a friend of mine GPS track their t-mobile number, and found the address where they were...(yea, I know, please don't tell me how wrong that was...), but the two scum bags moved to South Dakota and are staying at his Moms. Got the Mom;s phone number - and gave them a call. Of course, no return call.

What is the legal recourse? Can my daughter and her DH file a claim here?

Curious, Soc.

In you experience, what is a reasonable amount of time after the issues have been agreed upon and entered into a court to expect to recieve the divorce decree?

Let's say you filed two years ago, settled a year ago and still haven't recieved a decree, what can you do?

This is CA.

Thanks in advance,

Olanna

Dear Socrateaser,

My bf and I are talking about getting married. We both live in CA, as does his ex-wife.  He is concerned, as I am, that there may be some way that she could get to my assets and money through him.  

Can you think of any way she might be able to this?  My lawyer assures me that she cannot gain access to my income or my assets, even through a joint checking account.  Is this true?

Dear Socrateaser,

My son had been living with his father until last June.  He is now 17, (was 16 when he arrived), and told his father he no longer wanted to live with him but wanted to come out and live with me. His father refused to agree to signing over legal custody but at the age of 17, I felt it ridiculous to go to court about it. Until, that is, SC came after me here in CA to collect child support they claim in arrears.  I once again, had my lawyer call my ex directly, and ask him to agree to sign off on things. It is at this point my lawyer suggested that I go after the support that was never paid to me when my son lived with me.

1. My ex never paid child support to me. The original order was in SC. My ex still resides in SC but my all my children from this marriage, (now two of the three are adults), live in CA. I also live in CA.

2. My ex's atty is attempting to prove that my ability to request back child support or current child support is "latched"..in other words, (and pardon me if this is rudamentary to you), beyond the time I can collect it.

3. My atty is telling me that child support is never "latched" and if SC will not allow me to open the case, I could very well open the case here in CA.

4. CA is attempting to enforce an order that originated in SC.  I have my day in court next Tuesday to open up my case against my ex here in CA.

5.  According to my records, my ex owes me $55K in arrears, not to mention any current support that should be paid to me since my son came to live with me.

What are your feelings on this issue being "latched'?

Dear Soc,

My 16 year old son came to live with me. His father was willing to take a settlement in exchange for *allowing* him to come back home.  He is now refusing to sign any papers to change custody, although he allowed our son to get on the plane and move out here.

My son has been here with me since late June. I suppose there are two ways I can go about this but I wanted your opinion.

First way:

File paperwork in SC and request a change of custody. In this, the agreement we were supposed to have was that he would forgive my arrears and I wouldn't ask for CS or money for college for our son. I could present the same agreement in my documents I would file in SC.

Second way:

Wait six months and let my home state of CA take jurisdiction, get the stuff transferred out here and basically ask for/offer the same thing.

It just all seems so silly and I would let it go, but I do want my arrears wiped clean before I lose my leverage with the CS issue.

Please advise.

Thanks in advance,

olanna

http://www.spiritofnow.com/cellular_memory.htm

What next?

Since the installation of a fractional T1 line, W2K workstations cannot map or see the Unix box...

The ME box on the network can see the UNIX box.

If you have any ideas...please share. I am pulling my hair out trying to resolve this.

thanks...

Olanna

Big question....

Mom and Dad live in the same town. Dad is currently only getting the boys, ages 10 and 12, every other weekend and wants them more.  Dad has a house with a room for the boys.  

What is the best approach for this? Just ask for a 50/50 split or ask for a change in custody and settle for 50/50?  There isn't any reason (safety and well being of the kids) why 50/50 wouldn't work...the boys have all of their own things at both homes.

Dad feels sure Mom will raise cane, as she will lose the child support and hence, either have to sell the house or buy Dad out.  Will the court view her loss of income and consider that in the decision when Dad requests more time?

Any and all thoughts are appreciated.

Recently, my 16 year old son came back to my home to live.  In the beginning of this decision, his father was in agreement to send him back.  Now that he is here, he is refusing to be agreeable and sign the papers to give me custody.

In December, my son will have been here 6 months, and it is my intention to file paperwork here in my home state, (which will be my son's by then), and I will petition the state of CA for custody.

I read some of the information on what determines a home state..ties, school, doctors, etc....

My son is attending high school here, he is on my medical plan, and his older brother, sister and younger brother all live here, as well.

Do any of you have any advice to me on this? Is there anything I need to do beforehand to help this process flow smoothly?

It's amazing to me just how much some people can lie.  My bf's ex, Janet, filed a statement saying M had not paid cs in all of 2006.

You could have knocked her atty over with a feather, when not only did he produce documents that he paid, but showed where he overpaid.

And of course, "we" made her feel like shit in court.

What is up with this woman?

the ex to be wanting the pay stubs every two weeks and trying to file contempt charges over not receiving, even though she is getting court ordered child support, in full and on time?  This is in California.

My fiance` has two boys aged 9 and 11. He gets them every other weekend.  Right now, he is working something called a shutdown, so he is working really long hours.

Question for all you NCP Dad's...(and CP Dad's too)..

His ex told his oldest son that since his father is working long hours, they would just stay with her on the weekend while he works.

Now this really ticked me off, but hey, not my kids.  But I will say that I followed up and reinforced my guys comments to the kids..

They are children and should not be relaying those types of things from mom to dad. And what happens with the boys on his weekend is up to him, not her.

Should the boys really have to stay with her because she feels this is best?

Fiance and I have a big, new home in same town as ex.  I have a son that has become best friends with his youngest son..but they all play well together.  What would be so wrong of them spending some time here with me while he works?  Or how about they go see Papa for a bit?

I can't imagine trying to control my son's time with his father as she does.  I just don't get why she feels she needs to do this.

Any thoughts on how he could best handle this?

My ex and I have an agreement that he pays the medical and I cover the child care. It's really to his advantage...his averages about $100 a month and mine is more like $400 to $500...

I reminded him that there was bill still unpaid from November, when Dman had his emergency surgery.  It's for $200, $100 of which I gave him, because I am a sport...

So he starts arguing with me. Says he knows nothing of the $100 I gave but when I told him I had the emails to prove it, he suddenly remembered it.

And now...he sent me an email telling me according to our court order, he only has Dman every other weekend..(we had worked out a deal between us that he could also include every Wednesday night in his visitaion schedule and he has been doing this for almost two years)...but now he isn't taking Dman anymore.

What a complete ass...I told him he could call his son and explain that to him.

:(