Messages

I am so please to read your good news.  Some stories do have happy endings.  My son, the one I was fighting to stay in his life, came to live with me some five years ago.

He, too, is a yong father now.  He also took paths I would rather have been different for him.  But he's a fine young man and I am proud of ALL the things in his life.

Peace and love to you.




Olanna

Checking court records last night over bf's divorce that has been ongoing for nearly four years...

It said:

STATUS: REMOVED - REMOVED FROM COURT'S CONTROL.

This is California.

Any advice is appreciated.

Great advice, tigger.  I overlooked the money she was sending.  She will NOT get credit for sending that money.  Best she puts it away into a trust, as you suggested so when the day comes, she won't be in arrears. Also, she might want to let her ex know she is just trying to establish a relationship with her children and will address anything more later on. Courts will go on her effort and the existing relationship.  Just saying you want more visitation or custody won't work...you have to prove there is a relationship there to beging with.

I don't think you need any books on how to parent a child long distance. How do you nuture any relationship that is long distance? Lots of phone calls, emails, hand written letters, special little gifts, etc....Visits in person are a marvelous thing to do, as well.

I would encourage you to start doing ALL the things listed above TODAY.  The more contact you have, the more likely your children are to speak with you...you may get some negative responses, but don't be too discouraged.  Your kids are hurt...help them through the hurt with love, kindness and caring.

Break your posts up into short readable paragraphs.  IN this way, people will be more likely to read them and respond to them with thoughts and advice.

the courts are not doctors.  If your wife is mentally ill, she needs to see a doctor, not a judge.

If she is mentally ill, she needs care.  Who knows what will happen if she mentally ill?  No one here has a crystal ball.

Get her medical attention..after all, you promised in sickness and in health.

I feel CA is. SC is not.

not their legal department.  You need to give them specific times you will monitor these queues (or whatever they are) and how you will report the status.  Be sure to outline the SLA with them and let them know what they can expect for their money.

Some things I see arising in this:

Your limit is 10 hours per week. When will you work this?  Be sure you outline very specific times they can expect to see you. If you are doing it remotely, be sure that is stated in the contract.

If there are problems, who will resolve them?

How will you report it?

Will you be a 1099? If yes, how will submit time and be paid.

keep in mind, if you are a 1099, adjust your hourly salary accordingly, as you will have to pay your own income taxes.

Hope that helped.

Olanna

My daughter is a Vet, and I can tell you that the word adoption isn't placed on a pet in that manner.  The word was put there to encourage people to feel a sense of responsibility to a loving animal companion.  It was a buzzword.

And, I have animals I didn't adopt. They adopted me.  They are my cats and dog and I am their human.

They only have a finite number of years with us.  I lost my cat, Carmel of 14 years, and it felt like a family member died.  I still get teary when I think about him, just like everyone else in my family does.  

No my animals are not my children. But there is a relationship that is close and loving and caring.

Not in my case...not at all.