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Messages - Raisin_3

Pages: 12 3 ... 5
Father's Issues / Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« on: Aug 08, 2011, 06:49:20 PM »

But if you're wondering what should be done FIRST, it would be DNA testing.........he needs to make DAMN sure that child is his before he does ANYTHING else.  Because if the child isn't his (and given her history, it sounds like a distinct possibility), all the rest of it is a moot point.

I would bet money that it is his.  She screwed up and has really paid for it the last 2 years.  He has pretty much beat her down (not physically) about this and she stays to keep proving she loves him and would do anything for him.  It is a messed up relationship and they are probably better off apart but I still feel bad b/c of the baby.  He doesn't understand the heartbreak of not having your child with you all the time.  My dh tried to talk to him too but he thinks he knows it all.

Father's Issues / Question for a friend about an unborn child
« on: Aug 08, 2011, 01:34:35 PM »
So my friends gf is pregnant.  Due in about 4 months.  Friend has realized he is not in love with her and does not want to be with her.  GF's family lives in a different state than friend and his family do- she moved there with him.  I have advised friend he has little rights at this point.  That he is best off to wait until the baby is born and then he can petition for the baby to stay in his state, but friend thinks he will get a court to order her back to his state with the baby.
They have had several issues- gf cheating several years ago being one of them and friend has never gotten over it (which I told him at the time he took he back that he would never move on but he swore he would).
What is his best course of action?  I hate to tell him to stay with her until the baby is born but if he doesn't he pretty much gives up any chance he has to keep her in his state.  Can he petition when she is pg to stop her from leaving the state?  I tried to tell him to stay with her and get some counseling and try to make it work but he is done.  She kind of 'trapped' him with the pregnancy and never told him she went off birth control until she was already pg.

Visitation Issues / Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« on: Jun 21, 2009, 12:32:53 PM »

Ocean gave you great advice.  It is not reasonable for you to expect the entire summer as Mom is entitled to vacation time as well.  Typically 4-6 weeks in the summer plus rotate holidays depending on odd/even years.

Back when we had a visitation order my ds had to spend the whole summer with bm and she didn't want the whole summer, he didn't want to go the whole summer and we didn't want to send him the whole summer.  Guess that was how it goes though. 

General Issues / Re: Help!! BM wants to terminate her rights
« on: May 06, 2009, 11:42:09 AM »

Here's a little background information....

My husband's ex wife owes about $10,000 in back child support and is ordered to pay $400 a month for current. She submitted a motion to modify child support and they have a hearing tomorrow. She wants her child support to be lowered to $250 a month. Our state law in Nevada says the minimum is 18% of her income and that's what $400 is. My husband filed for child support enforcement in January and his caseworker called his ex last week and told her that the child support will most likely stay at $400 because it is the state minimum. My husband's ex then called him and told him that she wants nothing to do with their son anymore because she doesn't want to pay $400 a month and still have to pay back child support. She told him that she wants to terminate her parental rights.

My husband filed for CSE because we really need the money. So, my questions is, can she voluntarily terminate her rights and just walk away. And my husand is just supposed to support their son now completely on his own with no financial support from her? He's fine if she doesn't want to visit him (she barely does now anyway) so what can he do to make sure that this doesn't happen? My step son is 5 years old and he is just barely getting to know his BM and he's really excited about it and now she wants nothing to do with him... Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

My husbands ex wife terminated her rights in 2005.  The only way she will be able to do that is if you are willing to adopt your ss.  I adopted my ss when he was 10 y/o.  My dh's ex only had to pay $45 per week and decided to give up her rights and she paid the $700 for the atty.

Moms Without Custody / Also-
« on: Mar 27, 2005, 09:43:57 AM »
My ss is 11 and his mom is NCP and we have about 650 miles between us.  SS gets mad that bm only calls once a week (if that- sometimes once every other week) and when she calls she has nothing to say to him and the calls are very short.

Maybe try calling more often.  Does your CO state you can only call once a week?  Make a list of things to talk about- fun things and let her know how much you think about her.  Every time my ss goes to counseling he talks about how his mom doesn't call or talk so it is a big issue with him.

All she is hearing is negative stuff about you.  Every little thing you do to show her it isn't true will help.

Moms Without Custody / Yep,
« on: Mar 27, 2005, 08:30:01 AM »
Our order has it in there that bm can talk to ss with a webcam 3 x's a week but bm wont go buy a web cam and do it.

Im thinking maybe the phone calls are monitored and she gets coached on what she said or should have said?  My ss is very distant when he is with bm b/c he doesn't want her to know he loves us- but he is never like that.  Either someone is standing right there and listening or they record them and listen and talk to her about it after.  At 9 she should not have that much knowledge of what is going on.

Maybe writing her letters and sending cards and little things to show her you are thinking of her.  That way she can get the stuff and not worry about having to put on a show in front of them.

Dear Socrateaser / Thanks-
« on: Apr 03, 2005, 05:42:59 AM »
We have had a lot of experience with this.

Dear Socrateaser / RE: more questions...
« on: Apr 02, 2005, 01:04:31 PM »
1.  Yes.  You get the exemption and she gets the EIC.
2.  No because you are claiming her for different things.
3.  That I dont know.  Does she have other kids?  I am not sure if she is married, etc to qualify for HOH.
4.  I dont understand your question?
5.  If it is your year to claim the exemption and she claims it she will have to pay that money back- if the IRS determines it was your year.  You would have to provide them a copy of the court order stating it was your year.  I would think they would make her repay the money.

Dear Socrateaser / No, you are right
« on: Apr 02, 2005, 10:25:02 AM »
About the Earned Income Credit (EIC)

BM was allowed to claim ss every other year but we got to claim the EIC.  She tried to claim it and they made her pay back all the money she had received.  So if that is what is holding up the mother she will still get the EIC just not the exemption.

The requirement for the EIC is that the child live with you more then 6 months a year.

Dear Socrateaser / Termination of Rights
« on: Apr 02, 2005, 10:21:29 AM »
Dh is CP and we live in TN.  BM is ncp and lives in WI.  Parents were divorced in WI and WI has jurisdiction of this case.

Last week bm was ordered to pay $45 a week in child support.  This week she e-mailed us and said she wants to terminate her rights to ss and have me adopt him.  She said she will terminate regardless if I adopt ss.

She just had ss last week for 5 days and for 8 days at Christmas, plus 10 weeks last summer.

She said her reason is that she hates us so much and we make her sick and she cannot ever stand to see us or hear from us again and if that means she has to give up ss then that is what she will do.

1.  Can she terminate w/o me adopting ss?
2.  Can we file something for full/ sole custody since she is not wanting involvement?
3.  If she hasn't file to do this before we are required to send him to her for the summer do we have to still send him?

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