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From what I gathered, you need to pass two tests. The first is proving why you need the undue hardship claim. From what you say, you have reason.
First, you have another child, second your circumstances have changed (job loss)

Next you have to prove your standard of living is lower in your household, than your ex's.
They will add all the income from everyone in the household. So even if your kids have part-time jobs, they will add in that income. They also add your ex's and her husband's.
Then they do the same for your house.

When they have a total for each house, they will then divide that amount by a number, depending on how many people live in the house.

Whichever household has the lower number afterwards, has the lower standard of living.

I do hear it is very hard to get, but it's worth a shot.

My husband and I are both divorced (this is the second marriage for us both)

I can say being a woman, I was favoured in the courts. My husband was treated like shit. It's a biased system, sadly. You just have to be fair, don't sling any dirt on your ex and stick to the facts. My husband did this last time in court, his ex mud slung like you wouldn't believe and my husband won! And that was with a woman judge!

Let me know if you need help with numbers and how you would do. I have the calculators for the hardship test and can help you out.

Plus he alrady agreed to pay of $100/mth.

Has your DH called them to ask about these letters and how they came to that amount and also about how they are sending these threats when he is paying it off?!

Hmm, that's tough then. With BM's and stepdad's schedule it should be easy enough for them. I know having little ones can make it hard for hotel stays and such, but local games or ones you can travel to for a couple hours shouldn't be too much of a burden.

All I can see is that you might have to ask BM if on her time you can take the boys to soccer practices and games, with you doing all pick-up and returns.

Alot of work for you and your husband, but it sounds like you both support the soccer more than BM and if it's what the boys really want you have to make sacrifices.

Maybe you can even switch the days you have the boys during the week, to the days they have soccer practice.

Do the boys live with you full time?
Did mom agree to the competitive sport? Or were they signed up by you and dad and mom was told after the fact?
Do you have younger kids in your house as well?
What are the work schedules in each household?
Other activities for other children in the household?

Do the boys live with you full time?
Did mom agree to the competitive sport? Or were they signed up by you and dad and mom was told after the fact?
Do you have younger kids in your house as well?
What are the work schedules in each household?
Other activities for other children in the household?

I cannot reply to Davy, it was too full of anger and animosity.

I believe the posted began membership in May. This thread started this week.

Am I reading it wrong?

And who cares if she is a mother or father. If it is so one sided, how is it that I am a CP mom and I still take the dad's side?

Do you let your daughter decide for all things that affect her, besides going with her father.

An example would be when she is ready for school. Would you force her to go to school if she says she is not wanting to go because she would miss you.

Would you make her go to the doctor if she is sick, even if she cries and does not want to go.

I am trying to point out that she will not be traumatized because her mommy and daddy make decisions for her. Four is much too young for letting her make adult decisions.

Sorry, but I agree with her father on this.

How would you feel if she went with dad and did not want to come home to you because she misses her dad and wants more time. Would you be agreeable and let her stay, lets say for a week if that is what she wanted.

Because that is what you let her do with dad, so in relaity you would have to let her stay due to her emotional well being. Put the shoe on the other foot.

That you are greatly missed, you know where..

Secondly, I am of the mind set with 'R' that if you give an inch, he will take a mile. As you said, you have done everything possible to make sure your son has a good relationship with his father. But Amy, it is not all your job to do this, he has to meet half way and become a good dad and I don't think that will ever happen.

How can he possibly think lowing his CS and you doing more driving will make him a better dad or make his relationship with his son 'better'?

Why should you sacrifice for his shortcomings.

My Dh went through something similar and he gor the opposite affect, that was in Ontario.

I'll post some advice after I find out where you are...