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Topics - nosonew

#1
After many years of false allegations and contempts... DH is CP FINALLY... we are about to start our 3rd year! YIPPEE...

Problem: BB quit or was fired from her 45,000/yr job and now works at a convenience store.

Her CS obligation was cut in half.

She now wants it lowered more due to "expenses due to rental properties" stating she has a "loss of income" because of this side business.

Doesn't she have to show mortgage, tax, insurance costs? Copies of rental contracts and cancelled checks? How to prove these "expenses/losses" were actually used for those rental properties?

What can we do to get this info?

BB buys a home, lives in it, fixes it up (takes 12-24 months) then buys another fixer-upper and moves, renting out the home she lived in.

HELP!!!!
#2
BB is now NCP... FINALLY! (almost 2 years now!)

She has worked for 20 years in same field..makes good $$

We were just notified she is now working at a Kwik Shop. We think she will blame it on  "medical reasons"... WHICH SHE REFUSES TO TELL US ABOUT EXCEPT TO SAY A NEW MED MADE HER SLEEPY!!!!

THoughts? Suggestions?

HELP!!!!!!!!

(Yes, have posted to Soc.)
#3
Since getting custody last year, we have had to rely on bm sending cs "on her own" until she supplied her financial info.  It was due in Feb.  She didn't supply it until threatened with loss of visitation. Then, it miraculously appeared.  Since she waited soooo long, they also took into account her income this year...which means she will pay 200.00 MORE per month than was previously ordered, and they made it retroactive due to her deceit about what her actual income was at the time of the initial temp order.  I don't know if they can even do this legally...but they are.  So, rather than 250/mo, she will be paying 450/mo...and on top of that 200/month for 10 months for arrears!  

Considering my dh paid an ungodly amt for 13 years, which allowed her to spend the money on rental properties rather than the child....I am loving this!
She had the nerve to ask dh if he would "for-go" child support as she couldn't "afford it".  His response: "Sell your other houses, all 5 of them, and then you can afford it!"  LOL!  

It is SOOOO nice to see her on "the other side" for once! Is it really mean of me to be enjoying it this much>?????
#4
Dear Socrateaser / Hi Soc... quick question!
May 05, 2006, 04:40:36 PM
Is it legal for anyone to call an employer and ask questions about a previous employee? (Pretending to call for a verification of employment?)

I know, odd question however, there is a reason behind my question.
#5
First... wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

Secondly, one quick question.

I read on another post where you suggested the person send a reg. return receipt letter to the BM to solve an issue. To avoid court costs, time, etc. My BM is currently underemployed after 15 years of a high paying job. (Yes, the one who went to Kwik Shop).

1. Do you think something like that would be relevant in a situation where I have just hired a new child support atty to go after BM regarding underemployment?

2. If she/her atty argues the new garnishment order sent to her new employer, would it even be worth asking before having to subpoena employee and medical info?

3. If so, how would I word it? Any suggestions very welcome.

And if I had an addy for you... you would receive some wonderful homemade Christmas candy (LOTS!)! My email addy is in my profile if you would like to receive some! (peanut brittle, fudge with and without walnuts, choc. covered cherries, almond joy lumps, choc covered pretzels, white choc pretzels, haystacks... etc.) Just an FYI... And yes, this is the wife talking about the goodies! Merry Christmas!

#6
Dear Socrateaser / Underemployment Question
Dec 10, 2005, 05:16:53 PM
I feel NCP is underemployed. Until this summer, she has had employment that paid up to 21.25/hr (her last job) and has had 2 employers in 15 years. Until this summer. Currently she is making 6.60 hour per last pay stub. (Went from Medical field to Convenience Store).

I spoke with an attorney regarding this issue (free phone consult) and he stated per Kansas Guidelines if a person QUITS their job, their CS obligation will be imputed at their ability to earn.

She refused to tell me if she quit or was fired, so I had a friend call her employer for a verification of employment in which I found out her salary, job title, dates of employment and they stated "she is no longer there due to a mutual agreement to end employment" AND is not eligible for rehire.

So..

1) Does "mutual agreement" mean she QUIT or was FIRED?

Thanks.
#7
Soc, first, I must thank you for all of the great advice given to me and others in the past.

I am CP. Child just turned 16. Have been custodial for 2 years.

His mother has 4 rental properties I am aware of. She recently quit or was fired from her job and has taken a lower paying job resulting in her child support obligation to be cut in half.

Until now, her rental properties have never been added into child support calculations. However, after having cs decreased by half, she is insistent that it be decreased further due to her "losses on her rentals".

She normally buys a home, lives in it for 6-24 months while fixing it up, then turns it into a rental upon moving to the next fixer-upper.

According to Kansas Child Support Guidelines (site is here):

http://www.kscourts.org/ctruls/csintro.htm

From what I read, her regular job at Kwik Shop would be domestic gross income, and her rental income in self employment gross income.

My questions are:

1. What would reasonable business expenses be for rentals in this situation?

2. To prove rental income, I need to request from her? 1) bank statements showing checks from renters (with copies of checks) going back 12 months? 2) rental contracts in their entirety for all rentals? 3) listing of all rental properties? 4) Tax returns? 5) mortgage interest statements? 6) Cost of insurance? (tax returns questionalbe as they are not always on the up and up and she does her own so I don't know how truthful they are). And what else?

3. How would I word my request to a case manager court ordered by a magistrate judge regarding ALL issues pertaining to our case? (She is the one figuring up the reduction in child support)

4) Any other recommendations?

Thanks in advance...

Nosonew



#8
Soc.. my DS's dad and I divorced when he was 2. He is now 17. He has lived with me since the divorce. In January of this year when he was 16, he requested that he live with his dad. I said fine as his dad and I have always gotten along for our son's best interest.

In the last 3 months, things have been rocky there. DS and his dad are not getting along.

DS chose to move back to my home last night. His father is against it.

(We had previously verbally agreed to NOT change any court order, there would be no child support exchanged and if DS went and things didn't work out, he could move back). I am still via courts residential parent, his child support due is still in effect, although I would never ask for it during the time my DS was with him. I have been paying (in lieu of c.s.) DS's insurance, personal property tax/tags, all medical not covered by ins., buying clothing, etc.) In essence, spending more than I would if I had paid him CS.

DS moved home today, requested my DH come to his dad's and help him pack up his stuff to move. (I am a nurse and could NOT leave work without risking my license for patient abandonment).. His dad refused to help yet had earlier told Son that he could take whatever he wanted.

DH was informed by EX when he arrived that DS could leave, but with the clothes on his back and nothing else.

These are the possessions we would like to get:

1. All clothing, sports equipment, shoes, etc.
2. Computer, monitor, wireless mouse and keyboard + all programs and games bought for the computer. (DS works 40+ hours per week plus HS, is an A student).
3. Cell phone. 180.00 phone DS paid 90.00, his Stepmom paid the other half as a gift for his birthday earlier this month.
4. Cash. He has over 800.00 cash in his room, along with his wallet, etc.
5. 2nd set of keys to his vehicle he pays for.
6. 200+ DVD's DS bought, were gifts or I bought
7. 200+ Playstation games & Playstation I paid for or DS paid for. If EX bought any, could have, I don't know about this.
8. Music CD's (very numerous)


DS would LIKE to get his 32" TV and surround sound system he has in his room, but these were not "real gifts" and I personally feel were purchased by EX to equip his room with items he felt he needed.

DS is now at my home with one extra change of clothing, the clothes on his back and his vehicle.

Questions:

1. Are there any laws pertaining to the issue of personal and items such as these?

2. It has been suggested by someone I know that I have a police officer go with me to the home for a civil standby and retrieve the items.

3. Any suggestions???

#9
We are now CP after not being for many years. (I had a CS question last week about this issue)

State is Kansas.

SS turns 16 tomorrow.

Last court order for c.s. changes was adding arrears to her monthly payment 1 year ago via our attorney.

NCP has worked as a lab tech for approx 20 years. Her last years salary was 45,000+/-.

We have a case manager court ordered until SS is 18 due to numerous contempts by NCP. (Was ordered in 98?)

In June of 2005, met with case mgr and NCP regarding NCP not working. Reason stated was: "A new medication makes me sleepy and I can't work".  Refused to give CP more info even though we asked.

She was apparently off work from May 1-July 5, returned to work July 5 part time. Was notified 1.5 weeks ago she has a new job at a Kwik Shop.

*She also stated in the case mgr meeting she is unable to drive without someone with her. However I have 5 documented drop offs or pick ups when she was by herself PRIOR to this meeting, yet after the May 1 date it was initiated. (She lives 1.8 hours away).

Now case mgr (not skilled in child support law or worksheet) wants to re-calculate child support based on her current job AND MAKE IT RETROACTIVE to when NCP "got ill".

NCP has numerous rentals as other income we have never used for calculations. However, this is going to change this time.

We have no doubt she changed jobs just to decrease her child support obligation...however, I am sure it is up to us to prove it.

My questions:

1. Do we have the right to find out if she was fired or quit?

2. Do we have the right to find out for the reason of firing or quitting?

3. If "medical reasons" are given as cause, can we get more info than that? Specific information? How would HIPPA law relate here? Can we subpoena her medical info?

4. If a court order is in effect, the case mgr can't go retro regarding child support issues can she? (NCP is in arrears almost 2000.00 currently).

5. If someone works at the same job/type of job for 20+ years (she has had at least 4 positions in this capacity during this time) isn't there a law regarding child support that is something about ability or capacity based on past wages?

I sooo appreciate your time and help!!!!

Thank you.... Noso
#10
Dear Socrateaser / Child Support Question.
Sep 13, 2005, 04:33:31 PM
DH has been CP for 2+ years. SS is 16 this month.

State is Kansas.

BM moved after DH was given residential custody. She did get a job with comparable pay (19-20/hr).

CS was garnished from her paycheck every 2 weeks. All went smooth until this Spring.  CS stopped coming and BM stated she was off work due to medical issues beginning May 1 of this year. DH received 2 full CS checks and 1 partial since then. (She denied having short or long term disability).

With nothing in July, Aug, or so far in Sept., he emailed her and asked for an update. She stated "Will be starting a new job, will give more details when they are known".

After waiting several weeks, DH emailed her asking for info on the job. She is now working at a convenience store. She did not give any more info, and her salary is unknown. (However, if convenience stores paid 20/hr, they wouldn't have job openings all the time!) *And her DOH was 8/23/05... before her initial email stating she changed jobs.

She also owns 5 homes she rents out. She has bought a home every 2 years for the last 10 years. Buys cheap, remodels cheap, rents.

Questions:

Given the situation, will child support likely remain based on her "ability to earn" vs. what she is earning?

Is it possible to subpoena rental agreements and bank records relating to those rentals as they are very likely assisting with her income? (Have not used rental income to impute CS in the past).

If feasible...we have an attorney. Working on getting his 2nd child through college!

Thoughts? (Thanks in advance!)

#11
Dear Socrateaser / Max CS guidelines in KS?
Jul 25, 2005, 02:34:49 PM
Soc..we are CP.. NCP mom hasn't been working since May and states she isn't working now. HOWEVER, our KS CS enforcement agency's on-line site shows she JUST had $$ taken out of her check and DH will receive it soon. She earlier had stated she could only work 2-10 hours per week due to a "disability". Yet has never proven it to us, athough DH stated he would fore-go CS if she would prove she had a disability and had no other income. Our state guidelines do not address this issue of short term disability.

She refused to respond. So my questions are:

1. What is the max amt of CS will they take out of a check?
2. Is that gross or net?
3. Any other suggestions?

Thanks... VERY much appreciate your time!
#12
Our bm has a medical issue and will likely be off work for 2-8 weeks (already has been 4)..

She is requesting a decrease or zero child support during this time.

Facts:

She owns numerous rental homes, yet shows a loss or just small income on taxes regarding this.

Questions:

1. In the state of Kansas, would c.s. be changed due to this?

2.  If we were inclined to allow her to pay no c.s. during this time, could we request proof of no other income? If so, how?

Any other thoughts?

Thanks...

Noso
#13
Soc,(a little history first)
 DH became custodial 1.5 years ago, and we agreed in mediation to meet half way for transportation issues. DH has a 24/7 job and when he is working, I agreed to meet in his absence. The bm was not friendly, but not harassing at my meetings. However, she then began emailing the case manager with false allegations of myself being late, not being able to meet at all, etc. It is basically her word against mine. I emailed all parties stating I was bowing out. If I am not a part of it, she can't falsely accuse me. This caused her to drive the entire way (an extra 49 miles one way).

 DH has had to drive 6 times all the way to her residence due to her own scheduling conflicts to either drop off or pick up. She has driven here twice, yet has sent an email to case manager requesting mileage "since Nosonew refuses to meet per the agreement". The case manager responded with "BM may bill DH __cents per mile and BTW my email has not been working so note my new address".

Which means, she isn't aware of emails I sent her addressing these issues.

My questions:

1. Would her accusations against myself (have copies of email) constitute a "change in circumstance" since I only agreed to meet, I did not agree to these "extra stressors"?

2. Would her moving when dh became custodial parent have any bearing?

3. What arguement would you use? Or would you just hire someone and pay them less to pick up. I continue to refuse to transport regardless of outcome.

4. Would her repeated demands to meet at a location 41 miles from her, 49 miles from us (which is not the court ordered location) have any bearing? She must drive 59 miles vs. our 50 miles to the court ordered location. DH doesn't argue with her, just meets her wherever she requests. Any bearing if they want to push "court ordered"?

(She has a long history of false allegations, including physical and sexual abuse allegations x3 against dh, myself and my (then) 6 year old son.) Case mgr is aware of these not to mention the untruths case mgr is aware of she has told her.

Help! And thank you in advance. State is Kansas.
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Question:
Jul 15, 2004, 05:41:50 AM
Background:  In 2000, after numerous dealings with the courts regarding contempt issues, our judge recused himself and our case was turned over to the district judge overseeing a 10 county area.  He has never met us, or seen us in person or in his court.  Upon our case being transferred to him, he ordered all parties to go to a specific Case Manager to oversee things until the minor child reaches age of majority (18).  It was also ordered that the "Case Manager work for the best interest of all parties and would make recommendations to the court and if either party disagreed with her recommendations, they could take it in front of the judge for dispute, however, if the judge agreed with the case manager, the person taking the issue to court would pay all costs associated with that court hearing, including the other parties attorney fees".  The judge also stated in his order, "I will agree with the case manager's recommendations 99.9% of the time".

  That being said, we have had a change of custody of minor child (now living with dad) that was implemented Nov. 2003. During our meeting with case mgr (all present, dad, sm, and childs mom), a new parenting plan was implemented and c.s. was discussed.  All parties were to give case mgr copies of the 2003 tax returns asap, preferrably in Feb 2004 as soon as they could be done.  We did.  She didn't.  The case mgr had written letters to both parties that stated the mom would pay cs in the amt of 250.00 for the months of Dec  03 and Jan 04, which she did 1 month late each time.  Feb-present was not addressed as both parties were supposed to have their tax info to her.  

March 04 dh notified case mgr we had not received any c.s. for Feb/March, thus a letter was sent to the mom requesting her tax info again and for her to pay up.  The mom responded April 15 via email to case mgr and ourselves that she had filed an extension on her taxes .  She did eventually pay Feb/Mar in May 04.  At the end of June, the case mgr sent her a letter stating her visitation with child would be terminated if she did not comply and get her tax info to her, as well as current pay stubs for this year.  A date to comply was added.  She did comply by the date. And also paid c.s. up to May 04.  

Case mgr figured up c.s. based on our tax returns, her tax returns and her new pay amt (which showed an increase of over 10,000 for this year vs last year).  The case mgr set her c.s. at 415/mo with arrears of around 2000.00 (she went back to Dec. 03 and added the difference).  The mom's attorney sent a letter stating it is against cs guidelines to go retroactive in c.s. since "it was never officially filed with the court".  They are also arguing using her OT pay, holiday pay, and call-in pay. *Note, this is a new attorney for the mom, I think #5*

Here are my questions:

1.  Due to the initial order by the court that the case mgr oversees all and the judge will go with her recommendations on everything, the retroactive support should stand, correct? (Her atty is correct that in our state cs is not retroactive past the date of filing)

2.  If the OT, holiday pay, and call in time are regularly received, it should be included, correct? (They stated in letter that her employer is now not allowing overtime as of now.  And she states she isn't going to work anymore holidays this year)

3.  They also state that arrears should they be added, should not be over 50.00 per month (case mgr set it at 200/mo x 10 months) and that "no judge would ever agree to more".  Any thoughts on that one?

Thanks for your input.  
#15
Tried to re-register, did all it said.  When I go in with new password sent via email, it immediately takes me back to message board screen with all topics listed.  (It did this before, but was due to pop-up blocker was on).

-Pop up blocker off
-Cookies enabled
-Sparc notified, they had no difficulties getting in with my name and password
*which means it is something I do or don't have on my computer.  

ANY SUGGESTION????  Help...Thanks
#16
Used to chat with her alot...just wondering..lost touch and her email is no longer valid!  Lori...email me...Kelly
#17
Second Families / DmcD??? How is your sister?
Jul 15, 2004, 04:55:23 AM
Looked, didn't see any updates....let me know..she has been in my prayers...nosonew
#18
Visitation Issues / Question to you allll
Mar 22, 2005, 07:12:26 PM
Okay, as NCP for many, many years...fighting, spending close to 20 grand JUST to get already ORDERED visitation...ss decided to live with us all of a sudden and told the powers that be. So he has been here for 1.5 years. or so. BM not happy.

Okay, she is continually accusing me of false things. Late for meetings, refusal to meet, etc. So I said, "DISENGAGE" "I will NO longer meet you!" She is now requesting mileage for the extra miles (she moved when ss moved to our home, we used to live 5 blocks apart).

After 10 friggin years, 20 thousand dollars my dh spent to SEE his son, she wants FRIGGIN PAID to see her son! And our case mgr sounds like she is just going to give it to her! What the F is wrong with this picture?

I am not only disgusted, but literally sick!
#19
Visitation Issues / Transportation Issues
Jan 08, 2005, 12:43:07 PM
Short background. Became cp 1 year ago. BM moved 2.5 hours away at that time. Have been meeting half-way...as agreed upon in case mgmt.

Due to my dh's work schedule, many times it falls to me to take and pick up. BM is now complaining to case mgr she has to work around my schedule too much..blah blah.  All not true. I have told her my schedule MAY interfere with a pick up or drop off, but that hasn't occurred up to now.

I just want OUT...I don't want it anymore. Im tired of defending myself. Any suggestions? I have already told dh I won't do it anymore. So, should I email the case mgr and let her know that due to the constant false allegations of my involvement being less than her expections, that I just bow out? Make sense?

I work a full time job, am going back to school full time for my bachelors, have two little girls 4, 2 yoa. I have dealt with her crap for 10+ years, and I am sick of it.

Suggestions?

Anyone know if there is a KS law that states anything about transportation when one party moves? Who should be responsible for transportation? I agree it is only fair to meet half way, but come on, I do that and she wants to make up lies. I don't need this stress in my life. Thanks....nosonew
#20
Yep, got a check in the mail today for 500.00! Funny how fast she can pay it when she is threatened by someone who can actually do something! HA! Haven't heard from Case Mgr yet if she has received the tax info...but I bet it is on it's way!--Nosonew

Wasn't for sure where to post this...but I think you guys will find this interesting...and of course, we are very happy with most of it!

*Letter from our Case Mgr (who is via a judges order our judge/jury and executioner!**

RE: Child Support

TO: The Mom and Great Dad:

I am beginning to question (moms) intentions.  I still do not have her 2003 income information (copy of tax return) promised months ago and (dad) advises she has not paid child support voluntarily for the past 3 months. I am setting a deadline of June 22 to receive a copy of her return, as well as a current year-to-date pay stub. If I do not have the information by that date, I will SUSPEND her visitation rights with (child) until it is received, as well as require the back support to be paid in a lump sum when the support order is done.  I hate to take such drastic action to solve a simple problem, but will if necessary.  I intent to get immediate compliance with the child support process.

I appreciate (dad's) patience in this matter, but I have run out.

Sincerely,

Case Mgr.

cc: Her attorney
     Our attorney



OMG- Sounds like she is a little pissed, you think?

**We disagree with the visitation restriction if she doesn't comply, however, it is not because of her lack of payment, but because she is not following the case mgr's instructions.  

What do you think of this?  I personally would frame it but won't--don't want ss to see this!
#21
Visitation Issues / Interesting development...
Dec 05, 2003, 05:14:36 PM
History:  SS just moved in with us (is young teenager), against his mothers wishes, but mediator suggested the move based on his wishes, and so bm moved out of town.  SS has been adamant that he be allowed to "adjust" his visitation schedule with bm to work around his activities (I know many of you disagree, but that is what he wants and it was ENTIRELY his decision) and he is allowed to do this per court orders.  This was to be his first weekend with bm.  What did he do after school?  Called her and told her he would come next weekend.  This weekend he had plans.  I personally disagreed with the late notice (he contacted her around 4pm and we meet by 7pm) but according to my dh, he "argued" with her for 25 minutes and would not relent.  BM gave in and agreed to next weekend.  Now ss says he doesn't want to go next weekend either, and we told him, no, if you traded weekends, and told her a set date, then you are responsible to hold up your end of the bargain.  He's a little p.o'd at us, but hey, he needs to learn that he can't tell someone he will do something and then back out of it.

And just FYI, missed time is supposed to be made up at a later date unless bm is willing to miss it entirely.  And ss is entirely responsible to discuss this with bm (so it doesn't get dh in the middle of their arguing).

My own ds (who is just slightly older than ss) has been making his own visitation with his dad for over 2 years.  We don't go by any schedule and he gets to see dad more than original orders state.  (Is going for entire xmas break rather than half this year-my opinion, he's old enough to tell me when he wants to go to dads, and he goes.  (But then again, I am not a pbfh!) I even suggested he go live with dad for a year, but DAD refused, stating my school system was much better and ds would miss his siblings (half and step) at my home!!.  Talk about everyone doing what is best for the child, no wonder he is 4.0 student and very well adjusted, both socially, academically, and is involved in all sports.  

So how would you handle this?  It is in the c.o. he can do this, both parents are supposed to cooperate with his wishes and reschedule.  (It isn't a problem getting him back and forth -only a 1 hr drive to meeting point).  Do you agree with how we handled this?  
#22
Visitation Issues / Need Help for friend...
Nov 22, 2003, 02:56:18 PM
Friend is having difficulties getting info from counselor for children.  Counselor gave dad info on boys, but not daughter, stating this statute:

27A-12-26.   Confidentiality of information acquired in course of providing mental health services. Information in the record of a person, and other information acquired in the course of providing mental health services to a person, shall be kept confidential and are not open to public inspection. The information may be disclosed outside the center, department, mental health program, or inpatient facility, whichever is the holder of the record, only if the holder of the records and the person, his parents if he is a minor or his guardian, consent or, in the absence of such consent, in the circumstances and under the conditions set forth in § §   27A-12-25 to 27A-12-32, inclusive, and in conformity with federal law.

Sorry, but since it states "parents if minor" doesn't that also mean dad, even if non-custodial parent?  They go to court Dec. 15 and don't want a big surprise on that day.  Any help out there, what can they do????:-(
#23
Custody Issues / For Fleeting Moment...
Sep 20, 2004, 06:30:12 PM
I usually don't respond to the likes of you, however, as someone who has been on SPARC a long time, and am here genuinely for the kids, I feel I must let you in on a secret!

People come here for help! YOU ARE NOT HELPING anyone.  

Are you called FLEETING MOMENT because that is all you are?  Were? Feel you are?  That is a real reason to seek counseling...like yesterday.  You obviously dislike men and stepmoms...and if so, this is not a site for you.  

Hope you get some help, you really will have a nicer life, as will your family.

Good luck ...Goodbye.
#24
Wondering how your evening was...full of nightmares or good times.  Hope all went well....
#25
I still have fingers and toes crossed for you!  Just wondering if you have an anticipated date of the judge releasing his ruling!!!  Inquiring minds want to know!  
#26
Aussie, you are in my thoughts all day...when you have the time and energy, please update!  Thanks...nosonew
#27
Custody Issues / Question for Lawmoe
Jul 30, 2004, 05:07:50 PM
Hi and welcome! Great to have you here!  Okay, have a question or two, here is the background, as short as possible.

    Child (son) born out of wedlock in 89, (one night stand), father finds out about child at age 2 when bm requested help from the state, DNA testing determined paternity. CS established, is garnished (never late, paid all back support in lump sum), From 91-94 saw son whenever in town (lived 4 hours away) 1-2x monthly per visitation agreement that of course stated "When bm and dad agree..." Father moves back to town to be closer to son and  meets me in 94, bm upset at relationship (they had ONE night, never dated, never nothing after that...although she tried).
    Upon finding out we were dating, she filed sexual abuse allegations.  Child was 4.  Things went downhill from there, and he had to go to court in Oct 94 for set visitation, she refused all visitation from June-Oct court date.  He received regular Kansas state guidelines for visitation, after 4 day only visits, to re-aquaint him with child.  She continually refused visitation and began severe PAS, with 3 more false allegations from Oct 94-99. Numerous court intervention, with just slaps on her wrist.  Finally judge recused himself and sent us to the BIG guy, who oversees 12 counties.  (we married in 96).
    The area judge never heard our case or our 120 contempts against the bm, sent us to a "case mgr" who he described in his order as "the person to oversee all aspects of the case until minor reaches age of 18, reporting back to the court, etc".  The judge even put in his order that he would go with her recommendations 99.9% of the time, as she is involved in all aspects, although either party could take an issue back to court if they disagreed with her final decision, however, if the judge sided with her, the party taking it back to court would be liable for all expenses of the court's time, as well as the other parties atty fees.  Needless to say, we have NEVER been back to court!
    The case mgr has been a Godsend, helping the two parents communicate and realize what is really going on.  The bm still caused problems, but the case mgr resolved them quickly.  The case mgr counseled the bm (in our presence) regarding her controlling nature of the child and that as a teen he would likely rebel if she did not change her ways, to which she replied, "He will live in foster-care before he lives with is dad", which the case mgr did not like, and told her she actually felt the child would "do better emotionally" with his father.  BM's reply, "Over my dead body".  Then, child reaches age 12, tells his dad he wants to live with him, writes letter to case mgr (per her request), meets with her without bm's knowledge (per her request), and she changes custody to 50/50 for awhile, then when child turned 13, he requested a full change of residence, which she granted.  
    Due to bm's controlling nature, and hell-bent against this custody change, she moved.  Telling child he would see her every other weekend, all summer long (8-9 weeks), every holiday, etc., even if that meant missing Prom and Graduation! Case mgr disagreed with this, and let the child decide his visitation.  It is written in the order that "If the child has social, sports, academic, or other activities he is interested in that interfere with his weekend visitation with the mother, he may choose to change his visitation to fit his schedule and both parties are to work with these adjustments."  
    My dh has always told child he should see both parents as much as possible. He really is the perfect parent.  He dislikes bm immensely, yet will never allow his feelings to interfere with his son's relationship with the mother.  We have both explained to child that even if "he" doesn't feel the need to see his mother, she NEEDS to see him.

Okay, questions:

1.  Have you ever seen a judge make an order like this regarding the case manager?
2.  How do you feel about the child being allowed to make his own visitation? (I think it was done by case mgr due to her verbalizing she would not re-arrange the schedule if something came up important for son)
3.  How do we deal with her requests for additional time he doesn't want?
4.  He has been to her home for her 2 weeks of "extended summer visit" (all the case mgr put for summer was 2 weeks with bm) and we have been unable to contact the child, it has been 8 days.  Suggestions?

Sorry so long, but just wondering after Socrates questioned the judge's order in this case....  Thanks, nosonew  
#28
Father's Issues / Need your input!
Jan 31, 2006, 02:55:11 PM
Okay, this is more of a child support issue, but I want a wider view of it.

DH is now CP (after too many years as NCP).

SS is 16. BM worked at same type of job (2 employers) for 15 years.  A license medical professional (not RN or LPN), made 45,000+ per year.

BM now works at a convenience store for 6.60 or so per hour.

She states she quit good paying job due to "health reasons" yet took a job with increased physical demand. We are awaiting her specific reasons and documentation regarding her "health issues".

So, we are taking her to court for underemployment.

Anyone ever deal with this with a positive outcome for the CP?

Thoughts, suggestions, recommendations?

#29
Father's Issues / I need your HELP... PLEASE!
Dec 09, 2005, 02:20:42 PM
DH is Cp after years of litigation and false allegations. FINALLY ss decided he wanted OUT of the drama... has been with us 2 years.

NOW, BM has quit her 22.00/hr job (just did an employment check from her employer) and is working at KWIK SHOP for 6.60 her hour!!!

We are court ordered to use our case manager for all disagreements, which has always been a blessing. UNTIL NOW. She is not knowledgeable regarding child support calculations.

Here are the facts:

BM owns 4 rentals. NONE of the income from this has ever been figured into child support calculations. She is not "forthcoming" with income regarding these rentals to the case manager, just wants to deduct her expenses from her gross income.

HELP!!!

I need info on how rental deductions are NOT specifically used in figuring child support!

Our attorney is NO help regarding this matter!

Thanks...
#30
I don't come here for this, and I am sure any NEW person would put their tail between their legs and run for their lives after reading the below arguements. If you don't care for a particular poster, just don't read/post.  If it is a troll, ignore it.  Simple.

Nosonew