Generally in regards to spankings the rule of thumb is if it leaves no marks it is acceptable. You are to use ONLY your hand, no belt, no spoon, no other "object". It is considered abuse to use an object to spank a child in most places.
Slapping should never be used.
Some ideas on "discipling" for foul language and mistreatment of others that I found VERY affective with my kids is to have them write a letter of apology. The letter must say what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and a promise to not do it again. An old trick going back to teachers making kids write a hundered times on the chalk board using paper instead also seems to make a difference in future infractions. My experience has been that by having to write it it stays with them longer than a spanking or time out.
Hope that helps a bit.
TM
Slapping should never be used.
Some ideas on "discipling" for foul language and mistreatment of others that I found VERY affective with my kids is to have them write a letter of apology. The letter must say what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and a promise to not do it again. An old trick going back to teachers making kids write a hundered times on the chalk board using paper instead also seems to make a difference in future infractions. My experience has been that by having to write it it stays with them longer than a spanking or time out.
Hope that helps a bit.
TM