Messages

Thank-You every one who has responded. Even the naysayers have helped because I have a better idea how ex will try to say *I* need to spend more time doing homework with them and not focus on what he is or is not doing...

Evidence gathering today :-) and to the poster who suggest computer print out of assignments turned in... good call 3 out of 5 of 13 yo's teachers have them for me to pick up after school today.

And one teacher is providing a copy of the letter she sent home 4 weeks ago warning of the child's pending failure and encouraging Dad to assist with missing assignments so he wouldn't fail.

Seems Dad told this teacher and most likely the others that the children spend after schools with me and I do not assure their homework gets done. I offered the teacher I spoke to this morning our parenting plan and my time tracker. Amazing sudden 360 in attitude towards me.


TM

These are children who previously had GREAT grades, who got their homework done on time, who did NOT have 27 tardies and 22 absences in all the years combined let alone one school year.

But perhaps you are right and it is petty to think that the children should continue to perform at the levels they performed previously. And I suppose I should take the time I have the kids doing homework rather than expect Dad to be responsible the 80% time he has the kids and get it done.



TM

I have had a shared parenting agreement with my ex since 1996. Last year he obtained primary placement status (in Oct. 2003). Until the change I had the children every day from 7:30 am until 7:30 pm in addition to eow. Since the change I have just 3 days a week with the children.

The children are 13 and 9 years old. From Kindergarten to the end of the 2003 school our 13 yo was an honor roll student. Never bringing less than a B home on any report card. The 9 yo has struggled a bit more but still managed C's or better in all subjects.

At the end of last year both kids grades had dropped dramatically. The 13 yo (then 12) was carrying a 2.75 GPA. The 9 yo passed on to the next grade with mostly D's and 2 C's.

I just went to parent teacher confrences this week for both kids. The 13 yo has a 1.75 GPA this time around. The 9 yo did NOT pass a single subject, not even PE. 9 yo's teacher was able to verify the ONLY time the child has homework completed and turned on time is the day after her visitation with me.

All teachers involved are saying the children are not applying themselves, not giving the effort they should, and not completing homework.

A custody hearing is coming up in April. I know that this is important information that needs to be relayed to the Judge. I also know, because of information my Ex shared with someone else, he intends to state that the after school time I have with the children is interfering with the children's ability to complete their homework (It's my fault?).

FRUSTRATION!!!!!!!

I do not want to spend the entire 4 hours 2 days a week after school I have with the kids doing homework. I do spend at least 1 hour with them. I have a note from 9 yo's teacher stating homework has routinly been turned in on days after visitation but 13 yo's teachers refused to put anything in writing about when the child turns in homework.

MORE FRUSTRATION!!!!!!!!!

So any ideas? Any suggestions? Any advise? Frustration today is interfering with my ability to think clearly. HELP PLEASE!

TM

Here is child support claculator for your state. It should give you an idea of what the support award is going to be.

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/michigan/

Unfortunatly the child support laws are different among different states. In my state (California) they take into consideration the amount of time the child spends between the two homes, it uses both parents incomes to determine support orders, and in some cases it can use the new spouses income.

Generally monies spent on a child before a child support award is made are considered gifts.

DO NOT get a second job. If you get a second job and spend less time with your child you will most likely be drug back to court to pay MORE child support as your income has greatly increased and the time share with the child has decreased (fair~ NOPE but happens everyday to Non Custodial Parents~ most often fathers).

Good Luck with this, it is going to be a long battle.

TM

Here is child support claculator for your state. It should give you an idea of what the support award is going to be.

http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/michigan/

Unfortunatly the child support laws are different among different states. In my state (California) they take into consideration the amount of time the child spends between the two homes, it uses both parents incomes to determine support orders, and in some cases it can use the new spouses income.

Generally monies spent on a child before a child support award is made are considered gifts.

DO NOT get a second job. If you get a second job and spend less time with your child you will most likely be drug back to court to pay MORE child support as your income has greatly increased and the time share with the child has decreased (fair~ NOPE but happens everyday to Non Custodial Parents~ most often fathers).

Good Luck with this, it is going to be a long battle.

TM

.

Welcome to SPARC. And thank-you to our wonderful administration for recognizing the "other" non custodial parents out there.

TM

THANK-YOU!!!!!

TM

in children of mild to moderate parental alientation and/or emotional abuse. Specifically a listing of symptoms that might be present in these situations.

Thank-You in advance

TM

1. If she brings the accusations up in court then your brother will need to have proof, by way of video or testimony of others present that this does not occur.
2. As I said before, your brother should get the child to counseling first.
3. Regarding supervised visits, or a reduction in visitation schedule, it will depend on the evidence presented by both parents as to what hte court might order.
4. Child Support will depend on your brother's states formula used.
5. If it is a documented mental illness yes it can still be brought up.
6. GET A NEW ATTORNEY! Find one that is a father's rights advocate, one who will aggressivly persue the father's rights.
Sparc has a list for questions to ask an attorney and from that article are links to other articles relevant to having a good attorney for representation.
The link to the Attorney Interview Questins is:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/attyquestions.htm

Good Luck
TM