Messages

1

Parenting Issues / Re: How should NCP discipline truant child with PTSD?

« on: Nov 27, 2012, 07:22:31 pm »

My ADHD son loved music and art, so he had electives of both until the school dropped art classes. That's when he dropped out. School didn't hold anything meaningful for him. Next time you see him, let him talk and just listen. No advice. No punishment. Just listen to what is in and on his mind. If you play a game like Uno, you won't be making eye contact and he will talk more.
I could have written your post, word for word almost. Your son has an extra burden of abuse. He needs counseling to work through the abuse and his anger that he is feeling.
One other thing, my son smoked pot because it brought his zinging mind back into focus. It was an ADHD treatment that he liked. A LOT. I believe in cell phone alarms now.

2

Custody Issues / Re: Need help to keep custody rights in place while trying to restore relationship

« on: Nov 16, 2012, 05:39:11 pm »

And ask yourself the question of do you really want your children home alone with her for days on end if she is abusive enough to hit you, rip up their toys, and scream what you are doing wrong at them. Believe me, if you leave, it will get worse. Think about your children as you answer this question.
Protect your children and yourself from her raging. DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE unless there is a court order. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE, unless there is a court order. Your counselor (who has NEVER met your wife) is giving you advice to save a marriage that your wife may not want to save.
You should be treating your wife in a business-like arrangement. Keep emotion out of it- this will only make things worse.
This is all advice learned from hard experience. Listen to ocean- she has more scars than I do. She knows what she is talking about and is trying to save your relationship with your children.

3

Custody Issues / Re: It's a good news so far.

« on: Oct 23, 2012, 10:21:13 am »

Pick your battles carefully. Choose only essential things to dispute.

4

Chit Chat / Re: I'm looking for my father

« on: Oct 07, 2012, 11:43:29 am »

How did you find out that he had been looking for you all these years? That might be the person to start with. I think it costs about $200 to get a name and address from a PI. I would dig up the money while searching on the internet. We found my son's birthfamily on facebook.
It's turning into its own disaster there.

5

Visitation Issues / Re: Supervised visitation with Diabetes

« on: Sep 14, 2012, 12:33:36 am »

That's why I had the disclaimer that it was hard for me. My ex tried to claim that I was not fit to parent due to my diabetes.
As a nurse, I can say that he clearly needs to get better control and to avoid so many dangerous low blood sugars that he cannot care for himself or his child.  Getting proof of better control and stabilized blood sugars will be a challenge for mom. 
My brother had a MVA due to a low blood sugar- this would have been avoided had he checked his sugar before driving.
One final experience- DS complained that his dad drove him to the store frequently after dad took his "happiness" pills- Paxil, muscle relaxers, pain medication, and I don't know what else. DS called them "happiness pills". I brought it up in court, wanting dad to take the meds AFTER returning from the store- because his driving scared DS. When my attorney asked dad what medications he took, dad stated "None of your business". The judge let it go. I don't know if this was due to a psych issue or not. I viewed it as a horrible cocktail to take and still be a responsible parent.
With so many Americans having diabetes, you can't guess what a judge would do or rule. I agree that dad needs some supervision until his diabetes control is more stable. How to get this is my question.
I do hope that I am not rambling, as I tend to do late at night....

6

Visitation Issues / Re: Supervised visitation with Diabetes

« on: Sep 12, 2012, 03:56:25 pm »

This is hard for me. I have diabetes, but don't have the out of control swings that go that low. I taught my son to call 911 for emergency when he was 3. He never needed to do it, but he knew how and practiced on every phone he passed by until he was about 5.
I would at least have a conversation with a diabetes educator and ask. You might have to pay for the session, but it would give you more concrete information.
I do understand your fear. But a judge might not.

7

Custody Issues / Re: A question taken child to another country

« on: Jun 17, 2012, 09:42:12 pm »

The child cannot leave the country without a passport. Don't sign the paperwork to allow a passport.
If forced to go to court over the passport issue, make sure that you have all concerns addressed with past behavior of the mother. If you think the child will come back in two weeks, then allow her to travel to her mother's country. Which country are we talking about? There are vast differences between countries and preventing parental kidnapping.

8

Chit Chat / Re: Test for the Admin

« on: May 30, 2012, 06:51:37 pm »

I am somewhat confused. Not being a mod, is that normal?

9

Father's Issues / Re: Daughter sexually abused by half-brother

« on: May 28, 2012, 10:27:39 am »

I realize that you are probably in shock and feeling a little numb right now. However, if you do nothing, there is the high possibility of him abusing other children. You cannot keep them apart forever; you will slip at some point.
How will your SS get help unless you report? You need to have your DD in counseling immediately.
By not reporting the abuse of your daughter, you are telling her that it is OK to be abused. She was the victim here. But your SS may also be a victim. You will also be telling your SS that there is nothing wrong with what he did. And don't believe him; there are probably others.
If you can't bear to report- and not reporting may cost your custody of all of your children- then take her to a mandatory reporter. Doctor, nurse, EMT, teacher.

10

Father's Issues / Re: My sons were abused at moms, I spoke up, now moms taking them away:(

« on: May 19, 2012, 02:12:06 am »

OK, so sounds like mom and BF were able to cover their tracks. There are others who have a great deal of experience in abuse cases, but my advice would be to take your children to the ER or to their pediatrician as soon as your child reports possible abuse. I hope that this never happens again, best circumstance, but be prepared.
I cannot find that attorney's card. Sorry. He worked in Portland across the street from the old Meyer and Frank store, now Macy's. Hope that vague info helps.Do you have an attorney?
I thought the way mediation worked in Oregon was 8 free hours of mediation. If parents couldn't come to an agreement, they went to court for a trial. The mediator couldn't present a plan that wasn't agreed to by both parents. Am I wrong? Did the mediator give you any of your rights to appeal or to a change of mediators?
Good luck.