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Messages - brwneyedmom

#11
Custody Issues / Re: It's a good news so far.
Oct 23, 2012, 09:21:13 AM
Pick your battles carefully. Choose only essential things to dispute.
#12
Chit Chat / Re: I'm looking for my father
Oct 07, 2012, 10:43:29 AM
How did you find out that he had been looking for you all these years? That might be the person to start with. I think it costs about $200 to get a name and address from a PI. I would dig up the money while searching on the internet. We found my son's birthfamily on facebook.
It's turning into its own disaster there.
#13
That's why I had the disclaimer that it was hard for me. My ex tried to claim that I was not fit to parent due to my diabetes.
As a nurse, I can say that he clearly needs to get better control and to avoid so many dangerous low blood sugars that he cannot care for himself or his child.  Getting proof of better control and stabilized blood sugars will be a challenge for mom. 
My brother had a MVA due to a low blood sugar- this would have been avoided had he checked his sugar before driving.
One final experience- DS complained that his dad drove him to the store frequently after dad took his "happiness" pills- Paxil, muscle relaxers, pain medication, and I don't know what else. DS called them "happiness pills". I brought it up in court, wanting dad to take the meds AFTER returning from the store- because his driving scared DS. When my attorney asked dad what medications he took, dad stated "None of your business". The judge let it go. I don't know if this was due to a psych issue or not. I viewed it as a horrible cocktail to take and still be a responsible parent.
With so many Americans having diabetes, you can't guess what a judge would do or rule. I agree that dad needs some supervision until his diabetes control is more stable. How to get this is my question.
I do hope that I am not rambling, as I tend to do late at night....
#14
This is hard for me. I have diabetes, but don't have the out of control swings that go that low. I taught my son to call 911 for emergency when he was 3. He never needed to do it, but he knew how and practiced on every phone he passed by until he was about 5.
I would at least have a conversation with a diabetes educator and ask. You might have to pay for the session, but it would give you more concrete information.
I do understand your fear. But a judge might not.
#15
The child cannot leave the country without a passport. Don't sign the paperwork to allow a passport.
If forced to go to court over the passport issue, make sure that you have all concerns addressed with past behavior of the mother. If you think the child will come back in two weeks, then allow her to travel to her mother's country. Which country are we talking about? There are vast differences between countries and preventing parental kidnapping.
#16
Chit Chat / Re: Test for the Admin
May 30, 2012, 05:51:37 PM
I am somewhat confused. Not being a mod, is that normal?
#17
I realize that you are probably in shock and feeling a little numb right now. However, if you do nothing, there is the high possibility of him abusing other children. You cannot keep them apart forever; you will slip at some point.
How will your SS get help unless you report? You need to have your DD in counseling immediately.
By not reporting the abuse of your daughter, you are telling her that it is OK to be abused. She was the victim here. But your SS may also be a victim. You will also be telling your SS that there is nothing wrong with what he did. And don't believe him; there are probably others.
If you can't bear to report- and not reporting may cost your custody of all of your children- then take her to a mandatory reporter. Doctor, nurse, EMT, teacher.
#18
OK, so sounds like mom and BF were able to cover their tracks. There are others who have a great deal of experience in abuse cases, but my advice would be to take your children to the ER or to their pediatrician as soon as your child reports possible abuse. I hope that this never happens again, best circumstance, but be prepared.
I cannot find that attorney's card. Sorry. He worked in Portland across the street from the old Meyer and Frank store, now Macy's. Hope that vague info helps.Do you have an attorney?
I thought the way mediation worked in Oregon was 8 free hours of mediation. If parents couldn't come to an agreement, they went to court for a trial. The mediator couldn't present a plan that wasn't agreed to by both parents. Am I wrong? Did the mediator give you any of your rights to appeal or to a change of mediators?
Good luck.
#19
What county? I know a great attorney in Portland, but he was $350/hr in 1998. I'll see if I can find his card.
Do you have enough funds to file an appeal? It's very expensive and not always effective.
Did your son indicate that it was mom's BF who was hurting him? Tell a teacher? Tell a doctor?
Was there a case with CPS or whatever they call themselves now?
#20
Custody Issues / Re: High Conflict Ex
May 14, 2012, 01:41:12 PM
Our court order specified twice weekly phone calls from dad but son could call as often as he wanted. After dad made son cry at several bedtime calls over the location of a gameboy, I limited calls to before 6 PM so that son would have time to settle down before bed. I mean, son was VERY UPSET.  This gave DS 2 hours to calm down and start his bedtime routine. I just turned off the ringer after 6 PM.
With a high conflict ex, it's best to have everything including the kitchen sink, nailed down in the court order. If you can think of everything, that is. LOL