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Messages - brwneyedmom

#81
as though that $25 per "successful collection" account could do anything for deficit reduction.  I read several months ago that it would take every American $29,000 to pay down the deficit....so that %25 will go far.  I see it more as a tax being paid by our children.  
I would be willing to pay far more if the fee went to mediation being required between parents (yeah, I know that it doesn't always work- my son's dad being resistant to mediation and anything that isn't what he wants) but we had a kick-butt mediator who was more pit bull than anything and worked with both of us very effectively....wish he could be cloned.  Both sides had to give and we ended up with a workable document without going to court.  The state paid for 8 hours of mediation and we ended up using 12.  
I hate going to court and feel it's a lose-lose prospect.
#82
From the Oregon Child Support Porgram to me (who receives no child support at all!!)

Dear Child Support Customer:

You have received this postcard as an Oregon Child Support Program (CSP) customer who receives no public assistance.  ("No public assistance" means that an obligee, child or child attending school has never received cash assistance, such as TANF or AFDC.  Other types of aid, such as food stanps and child care tax credit, are not considered cash assistance.)

Please note that effective October 1,2007, CSP will begin collecting an annual $25 fee from an obligee when at least $500 has been paid to the family and no public assistance has been provided to the obligee, child or child attending school.  The fee will be deducted from the next child support payment after the first $500 is received.  The $25 fee is required by federal law (45 CFR 302.33).

If you have questions about this new fee, call 1-866 XXX-XXXX.

So of course, I call.  This fee was federally enacted to -hold onto yourself- reduce the federal deficit with 2/3 going to the feds and 1/3 going to the state to offset child support collection efforts.

I'm so sad that by not getting any child support at all, I won't be able to reduce the federal deficit.  So be looking for your postcard boys and girls.  Sigh.....
#83
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! I'm sure that your heart is exploding with happiness so try to spend one day focused on the fact that you got to speak with your daughter.  How wonderful that you have an advocate in grandma!!
What state do you live in?  Just wondering, because I bet you will be in
Washington soon to see her.
I wish good things for grandma, your daughter and for you.  And I wish good things on dad.
#84
Moms Without Custody / You've got mine!
Aug 02, 2007, 06:30:47 PM
And cyber hugs too((()))!
I think that you did right.  My DS went to his dad's to live when he was 14 1/2.  He wanted to go and my attorney told me that I would lose in court if we ended up there.  We mediated a one year temporary custody paper filed with the court with clear rules about returning to my home if DS wanted to leave after a year, and clear rules about staying with dad if he wanted.  
DS tried to talk to his dad about returning but his dad refused to listen.  I tried to talk to ex about DS and he refused to talk.  So since ex failed to do the parental things that were promised, I went and got DS and moved him back at semester break.
I think letting them have a conversation first is great.  Then I think that you may need to step in if your ex is as resistant as mine....And I'm pretty sure he is from your other postings.  I remember the move to CA and all the hassles that you had...and I think it's your turn to parent for a while....
Best wishes

oops: edited to add that our state is Oregon....
#85
Never mind....I see what happened....blush!
#86
Dear Socrateaser / How about having
Mar 16, 2007, 05:20:23 PM
your child tell a trusted adult at school?  They are also mandatory reporters and your wife can also report to CPS at the same time.  When my son disclosed physical abuse from his dad, I took him to his counselor so that he could tell her and then she would report to CSD (same agency).  My son didn't disclose until four months after the fact, but was taken seriously, I think because I was not the one reporting (and I am a mandatory reporter in my state too).  I made an effort not to get many details from my son so that I would not appear to be coaching him- since I wanted to avoid the "vindictive ex spouse" label.  
#87
Dear Socrateaser / Thanks Soc...
Jan 08, 2007, 02:02:59 PM
I had to leave town suddenly for a week, so am just getting a chance to reply.  I appreciate your opinion.  Have a happy new year!
#88
Dear Socrateaser / Teen returning home
Dec 29, 2006, 09:10:55 PM
Dear Soc,

Both parents in OR.  Case in OR.
Father current CP, Mom NCP.  Teen is 15 years.  Parents live approx 75 minutes commute apart in different towns and school districts.  Son lived with father since 1/1/06 and lost credit for courses not completed in his hometown school.  

Supplemental Judgement filed 3/13/06 transferring sole legal custody of son to father for a temporary period ending 12/31/06 if son did not maintain a 2.6 GPA.  Son had approx. a 0.5 GPA for the term currently in session (and it will end 1/31/07).  Son expresses to his mother the desire to return to his hometown and former high school.  Father has now in November agreed that son shows symptoms of a learning disorder but is

Direct working of the order is "If, as of 12/31/06, son had a GPA of at least 2.6 and it is determined that son wishes to remain in dad's town, then custody and parenting time will continue as described in Section 1 of this agreement.  If either of theses conditions are not met, then, as of 1/1/07, unless the parents agree otherwise, the mother will have sole legal custody of son, and parenting time will revert to that plan in effect immediately prior to this agreement".  

1.  Does mother need to file any order with the court to regain custody that seems to be expressed in the current order?

2.  It is the mother's plan that completing the semester is more important than having child not get any credit at all for his work (if his time can be called that with a GPA that low).  Is leaving son there for a month likely to cause problems with custody?

Thanks Soc.  I've learned so much from you.  
#89
General Issues / what is convulting?
Sep 09, 2008, 03:08:36 PM
Can't find it in a dictionary...

one thing that I've learned in the last 12 years of hell is that both fathers and mothers have their place at this forum.  To suggest otherwise is a mystophyllyes action.  And if you don't know who that was, you're lucky.  I did misspell his/her posting name.
#90
what you have described.  She registered the same order in TX that was in effect.  Nothing new has occurred in the meantime except that your SD has gotten older.
I remember the tale you had for winter break and the effort your PB went to in order to mess up visitation.  THAT may be the change that she is talking about.
I might argue that with her move from IL to TX, she can provide all the transportation and then she would have nothing to complain about with the layover flights.  Just an evil idea....
Doesn't she have to provide her argument prior to court so that you can prepare for it?  I would think that discovery would apply in this case.