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what you have described.  She registered the same order in TX that was in effect.  Nothing new has occurred in the meantime except that your SD has gotten older.
I remember the tale you had for winter break and the effort your PB went to in order to mess up visitation.  THAT may be the change that she is talking about.
I might argue that with her move from IL to TX, she can provide all the transportation and then she would have nothing to complain about with the layover flights.  Just an evil idea....
Doesn't she have to provide her argument prior to court so that you can prepare for it?  I would think that discovery would apply in this case.  

Please edit your post to remove any identifying names!!!   This is a public forum and I'm sure that you wouldn't want your name on the internet!!
Sorry that I can't help with your problem.  I'm sure there are others who post that can help steer you in the right direction.  
What do you want?  Do you want to parent this child with your DH?  How old is this child?  

Once you qualify and get SSD, you should be assigned a case manager- social worker- who will visit with you and determine what programs that you would qualify for.  That also may depend on which state you live in- I live in Oregon - and I work as a contract RN for adults on Medicaid and each client has a case manager who oversees all the benefits that the clients get.

if you're on disability, does SSD kick in for minor children?  And if you earn more money, they'll take away the disability money, right?  So then you'd be fired and getting zip.
I agree, address the failure to thrive medical issues and since your child has access to mom's income, just go into arrears if you have to.  Your child will not be suffering while you don't have the money.  By paying so much in child support, you might qualify for community programs that would help you- call your case manager.

n/t

I don't think the diagnosis of ADHD will be enough change of circumstance to warrent a change of custody.  My DS is 16 and was diagnosed with ADHD in second grade, starting meds in third grade.  My ex never believed that DS had learning problems until DS lived with him for a year, finally waking up to the issues the last month that DS lived with him.

Actually, DS swears by caffeine to calm his distractability; I guess it's individualistic.  I have noticed that he can focus in the evening better when he drinks a soda pop with caffeine. But then again, he's 16.

One thing you could do is have the meds given at school.  You'll know it's getting done and you'll have feedback from the school on how they work.  Another thing may be to find a parenting class and all three of you take it.  That way BM won't feel that she's getting singled out, and won't feel the need to get defensive.
 
Could you take the children after school until she gets off work? Or offer to pay for daycare at her home so the kids could get fed their dinner and get homework done?

Believe me, I tried everything for ADHD treatment.  Diet, behavior modification,meds- he's been on almost all of them and all but one had bad side effects.

You might consider asking BM if a temporary custody change would work.I finally gave up and let DS move in with his dad for a year.  After busting him with alcohol, pot, and cigarettes, PLUS the bad grades, I was happy to let his dad have a crack at him.  Nothing that I was doing was working, including meds and therapy.  We went through mediation and had a temporary custody agreement drawn up.  DS would stay for a year and his GPA would be a 2.75- he was at a 1.5 at the time.  My ex thought he could help DS attain a 3.0.  If DS failed to get a 2.75, he would return to my home if he wanted to.  DS was miserable at his dad's.  He got no medical care at all, no therapy, no help with his 504 plan at school, no accomodations for his learning problems, and he ended up with a 0.5 GPA.  I met with the teachers three times during the year, but they never saw my ex until the end of the year.  At that time, DS was begging me to come back and making all kinds of promises.  

DS and I drew up a behavior contract, signed it, and it's been honored by DS so far.  He's finally discovered that it's his education and he's the only one who has messed up.  I can't believe it took him 11 years to get to this point.  

 I would have never willingly signed over custody without making it as a temporary situation, dependent upon DS's grades and where he desired to be living.  After all, I was described by my ex as being completely uninvolved and apathetic about DS's education.  My ex is a piece of work himself, and not fit, in my opinion, to parent.  He sounds a lot like your BM.  

get a court order to keep the child in the home.  This will prevent mom from moving out with the child changing the child's status quo.  

We, I hope, were not suggesting that you do not allow the mother to see the child.  In the above situration, you would retain primary custody of your child and you could let mom see the child as much as you want above and beyond the court order.  You wanted 50-50.  Do so and let mom see how it works.  You would be in much better shape to keep 50-50 when you get your custody settled at the end of your very long and painful road.

We only hear your side, but you seem to want equal access and your wife does not.  Then take the high road, obtain primary custody with your child in your care in your marital home.  Then let mom see the child as much as you like no matter what the court order says.  Everyone wins this way and mom learns not to fear a truely joint plan.  This will not end well for you if mom retains most of the power.  You will get what she dribbles out to you and the judge won't change it.

Best of luck.  Once again, I am not an attorney, I didn't listen very well to my own attorney (I wish I had had this group then!!), and I have never played one on television.....so all this drivel is my own opinion and worth whatever you think it is....

edited to fix a couple of spelling mistakes but there are probably more.  Never let your teen drink orange juice over a keyboard....keys get sticky.

in the marital home and not be permitted to move out with mom?

Disclaimer:  Not an attorney nor do I play one on television....

I've initiated a debate with myself so far!  LOL

only 39 minutes to read, digest and reply to the list.  You must be a speed reader to have absorbed all those articles in that amount of time.  I agree with speciallady that newbies may be turned away. If I had only known now what I've learned, sometimes painfully, over the years from board posters, I like to think that I could have prevented at least some of the acrimony of my divorce.  For some people the system is broke and studies won't help them cope with their circumstances.  

I used to appreciate your advice.  Now I'm beginning to read your posts as you just want to argue.