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Messages - WhatToDo

#21
This is all in South Dakota and THANk YOU in advance!

I was thinking about taking my ex to court for contempt without a lawyer. I just got my child support raised by $110 and really can't afford to hire a lawyer at this time. There is a custody order in place that has not been followed since April 2006.

It is court ordered that I am can see my daughter every other weekend and everything else is according to the state visitation guidelines. I have never received a holiday or a summer or any vacations with her

At the time the order was put into place, I lived 300 miles away and couldn't afford to make the trip to see my daughter every other week so my ex let me see my daughter the times I could come to see her.

Then, in April, my ex cut off all visitation. I still lived 300 miles away. I tried a few times to set up visitation and called several times. She wouldn't allow anything.

I moved within 10 miles of my daughter in August 2006. We had a contempt hearing in November but my ex never showed because she was never officially served with the papers. The venue had not been changed so the hearing was in my old town 300 miles away. Another date was set but then it got postponed. I cannot afford to pay my lawyer and I am going to have a change of venue made as soon as possible.

1. What, exactly, happens in a contempt hearing?

2. Would it be hard for me to succeed without a lawyer, for this first contempt hearing, in your opinion?

#22
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Not allowing visitation
Nov 23, 2006, 08:11:55 AM
>Frankly, by signing the document you are showing some serious self >destructive behavior. You should have smiled given your child a kiss, >told her you love her and then told your ex that you'd see her in court.

>But, instead you caved in. You need to get a spine and not permit your >ex to control you.


For one, my child was not with my ex at the time all this happened. And my ex was standing there telling me that I was wasting my time taking her to court because nothing was going to change anyway. She said she had custody and what she says goes.  So far, she's right. I take her to court and the court gives orders and she doesn't follow them. She never gets in trouble.

Since I haven't seen my daughter since April, I figured at least by signing this stipulation, I might get to see my daughter once a week for therapy like the stipulation says. At this point I would do anything to see my daughter and court hasn't helped one bit.

Until a judge throws my ex in jail, nothing will change. BM has told me many times that she doesn't have to follow any court order and since no one has MADE her yet, it seems she's right. She gets away with whatever she wants.

Just wanted to tell you why I signed this stipulation...
#23
Dear Socrateaser / one more question
Nov 22, 2006, 07:38:42 PM
a few hours ago I met with my ex and signed a stipulation. But I signed as my own witness as well. I'm having second thoughts about signing this. BM told me that if I didn't sign it, she would tell my daughter that I never wanted to see her again. I caved...So I signed where it asks for my signature but also where it asks for the witness signature. SHe did the same for herself.

1. Is it legal for me to have signed as my own witness? (will it hold up in court)

2. Does me signing as my own witness give me a way out of this stipulation?
#24
Dear Socrateaser / Not allowing visitation
Nov 22, 2006, 07:14:02 AM
I have a 6 year old daughter. The mother has not allowed me visitation since April. Last weekend, I ran into BM and my daughter at the mall. I got to hold my daughter and talk to her a little. THe whole time I was holding my daughter, BM was badmouthing me. SAying how bad of a father I was, etc...

About 2 weeks ago, I had a contempt hearing set but BM never showed up because she was never officially served any papers. But BM DID know about the hearing. Anyway, the hearing was continued until the first week of December. She has been served papers for this hearing.

Even after knowing that I'm taking her to court for contempt, she still denies me any visitation. In fact she told me, when I saw her at the mall, that me taking her to court is just prolonging the time until I see my daughter again. I talked to my ex yesterda and asked to talk to my daughter but again she denied me that right as well.

I sent my ex a Letter of Intent to Exercise my Visitation. (I sent a copy to the clerk of courts) BM is supposed to notify me by Monday if I get to see my daughter or not. I'm pretty sure she will not show up on the dates I have given since she says I don't get any visitation anymore.

1. In court, can I bring up the fact that she was badmouthing me in front of my daughter? Or will this just be "he said, she said" and I shouldn't even waste my breath saying anything?

2. In your opinion, does BM look worse because even after finding out I was holding her in contempt, she STILL denies visitation?
#25
Dear Socrateaser / couple of questions
Nov 16, 2006, 10:42:59 AM
Hi Soc! THank you for all the help you have given me! I have a couple more questions:

I have recently moved 300 miles from my previous residence. We have not had a change of venue YET. We are going to after our next hearing which is the first week of December. This hearing will be in my old residence and the hearing in DEcember will take place there as well. My atty is located in my last place of residence and my ex has said she has new representation in her new residence. (same town as I now live in)

We had a contempt hearing about a week ago and my ex didn't show up. (found out she was never served with the papers but she DID know about the hearing) My ex's atty, told mine that my ex had told him that she had representation in her new residence so he would not be representing her in our contempt hearing.

My atty. was contacted by another lawyer in town who said my ex had contaced him about the case but he was not going to represent her either. A 3rd attorney said the same thing. So when we went to court, my ex was not there and 3 lawyers saying they would NOT represent her, were there. It was obvious that my ex DID know about the hearing. (her last lawyer said he notified her of the hearing)

Her, supposed, new lawyer never contacted my lawyer concerning our hearing.

1. Why didn't she get in trouble for not attending the last hearing? Was it just because she wasn't served any papers?

2. Since she says she has a new attorney at her new residence, shouldn't this atty, have notified my atty?
#26
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Court Order says...
Nov 03, 2006, 10:16:21 AM
Thank you so much Soc. I feel I am much better prepared for court next week after getting your advice. Have a great weekend!
#27
Dear Socrateaser / Court Order says...
Nov 03, 2006, 07:23:22 AM
IT IS STIPULATED that the defendant (me) shall have visitation rights with *daughter* pursuant to the South Dakota visitation guidelines, said visitation to be every other weekend from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on Saturday and 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. the following Sunday. No overnight visits shall be allowed. Defendant shall be responsible for transportation for the weekend visitations.

IT IS FURTHER STIPULATED that the defendant shall be allowed reasonable phone access to the minor child of the parties, and the parties are to keep each other advised as to the location of the minor child.

IT IS FURTHER STIPULATED that this stipulation shall remain in effect until further order of the court.



----I have not had a single visitation that meets these requirements and have not had visitation since April 2006. The visits were always shorter. BM refused to let me see my daughter for longer periods.
----I haven't been allowed to speak to my daughter on the phone since April 2006. Also, BM moved my daughter 300 miles away from me last year and didn't notify me of her address or phone number until 4 months after moving. I tried repeatedly to get the information from her lawyer to no avail.


1. I believe I know what I'm entitled to since the court order seems pretty clear. Maybe I'm missing something?

#28
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Evidentiary hearing
Nov 01, 2006, 02:56:11 PM
Before I moved within 10 miles of my daughter,  I lived 300 miles away from her. (first week of august I moved here) My visits could only be once every month or every other month because I couldn't afford more. But after 4 months of that, BM started denying visitation.

BM said that my visits were traumatic on my daughter. (daughter was always happy and glad to see me and didn't want to leave me when it was time for her to go home) Then BM asked that I go to a sort of parenting class which I did. BM still didn't allow visitation.

Then BM said that I couldn't have visitation until my daughters therapist said I could.

Question

1. Do you think a judge would see any of those good as reasons to deny my visitation and phone access?
#29
Dear Socrateaser / also...
Nov 01, 2006, 01:03:28 PM
3. What is the most common thing that happens if a judge finds the person in contempt?
#30
Dear Socrateaser / Evidentiary hearing
Nov 01, 2006, 07:25:45 AM
This case is in South Dakota.

My ex has been denying my court ordered visitation with my daughter for quite sometime now. I have been working with my atty to get a court date to try to show she is in contempt. I found out yesterday that we have an evidentiary hearing set for November 8th.

1. WHat can I expect/what could happen at this hearing?

2. I know my ex will try to get this hearing pushed back if possible. Is there a way she can get the hearing postponed?

Thank you again for your help!