Messages

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

You are living  my biggest nightmare -- the loss of my dh and the loss of my stepchild because I know that I would be cut out of their life forever.

I am glad he got to see the girls last month.  My heart goes out to you.

I know there has to be a way for Grandma to be allowed to do the pick-up -- I just didn't know how to advise him to make it happen!

I am so sorry.  My husband's child has gone through the same torment.  How in the world they can stake their entire emotional well being on a pre-school child is beyond me.  I know how heart wrenching it is to hear, "I have to go home because Momma needs me!"

Just always remember that your daughter needs you in her life, as much as she needs her mother.  Always take the high road and don't put her mother down, but don't let her eliminate you either.

Yes, I think the judge will order het to meet 1/2 way.  

Do you have documentation of all of your past visits?  At least a journal. . .will help show a continued relationship.

There are lots of ways to keep in contact with a child at a distance. . .most require some level of cooperation from the CP.  I hope things work out for you and your daughter.

Fight for the right to see your daughter.  She does need you.

We live 240 miles away from my SD.  We see her e.o.w., alternating holidays, and 7 weeks (Broken into 4 different sessions) in the summer.    It can be done.    We meet 1/2 way.

Also. . .she is only 4.  Is she in school full time?  Could you propose longer stretches -- 4 days at a time to make the drive more worthwhile?  Even when she is in school, there should be at least one 3 day weekend a month that will be built into the school calendar that you can build parenting time around.

Lots of suggestions on this website.  

I would hire a lawyer.  It is just too important not to!

Hang in there.

I am glad it worked out.  I know how difficult it can be  -- with an ever shifting , non-planning PBFH and a dh that just wants everything to fall into place without conflict and having to push.

I would express your concern and reasons why you wanted your ss to fly.  Then, if she is still insistent on the driving him, and you still get all of your time with ss -- I would let it go.

You have to pick your battles and decide if it is worth fighting for.

and just took your SD back early for trick or treating on Sunday night.

Give PBFH the holiday. . . trick or treating time -- but not the whole weekend.

after 8 years, I still get squemish every time that dh's ex and I have to be together, but we do it for my ss.

I would ask yourself this question:  Is my girlfriend likely to be permanent?

If the answer is yes, then I would set up a meeting for your ex and girlfriend before Halloween and then plan on trick or treating together.

It will not be confusing for your son.  He will be with people that love him.  He will love the attention.  My ss used to fantasize about us all (child, dad, stepmom, mom and stepdad) living in a house together.  He never had reunification fantasies that didn't include the stepparents.

There will be lots of times you will need to co-parent.  All 4 of my ss's parents go to pt conferences together.  It is stressful but gives us insight to so much more than if we went by ourselves.  The teacher sees us as a team.  It is best if you can do that.

Uncomfortable, yes.  But the relationship is worth it.  Good luck.

even if you do when custody.  Make sure that you get a very clear parenting plan,  even if you are the custodial parent.  It will decrease so many other problems in the long run.

Good luck!

The answer to both of your questions is no.  Unless she files a restraining motion against grandma, you, or your family she can have no say over where the kids are during your parenting time.  I think she would be happy that they are not on the road for 8 hours.    She cannot control Dad's time.  Period.

When you go to court. . .be sure to ask for the extra school days that are off around your weekend, for holidays, teacher inservice etc.

I wouldn't fight the clothing thing.  I would keep a set of pajamas, play clothes, and dress clothes for each kid.  Then when they arrive, I would bathe them and wash their clothes.  They can wear the clothes you have for them all weekend and you can send them back in the clothes that they came in.