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Messages - Giggles

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It seems to me that YOU didn't have the children's best interest in mind when you destroyed two families with your affair.

I fully understand how your STBX feels, her world has been totally decimated by the selfish acts of the person that she trusted most.  How on earth can you think she would be able to trust that you have even the slightest care for your children when you destroyed their lives??

It doesn't matter what the issues were in the marriage YOU are 100% at fault for having an affair and now you want to continually throw your affair and the other woman in her face?  You are a cruel and heartless man!!

Are there any other private schools in the area?  Or perhaps it would be best for you and your affair partner move to a different area?  Put YOUR children's needs first...or are you too selfish to do that?

***"I don't know why she does not have custody of her children but it makes me nervous to have my child around someone the courts have deemed should have have custody of her own children."***

I have to ask...how do you know the courts have deemed she SHOULDN'T (I am assuming that is what you meant) have custody?  That is an extremely judgmental view since you don't know why.  I don't have custody of my daughter....NOT because the court deemed me not to have it (in fact quite the opposite), it's because at this time it's in HER BEST INTEREST to be with her father and that is what she wanted.  I've learned to put the NEEDS of my children ahead of my wants.  Yes I want my daughter with me...but that isn't what she needs at this time.

As for the "suicide" threat....THERE you might have some concern and you may want to check into it.

Custody Issues / Re: Temporary costody, How do I get it?
« on: Jun 25, 2012, 10:45:38 AM »
Is there anyway you could attend the hearing with your sister.  If the judge says too bad to her she has to serve her time....then you could step forward for the kids?

Divorce News / Australain Judge condones Parental Alienation?
« on: Jun 22, 2012, 11:32:53 AM »
But writes the children an apology letter to the kids because he feels that eventhough their Dad didn't do what the Mother alleged, that its best for them to be with Mom because she believes it to be true?
Now the father of these children is limited to letters and cards all because the Grandmother said a Psychic predicted that the father was sexually abusing the daughter?  Are you serious?
How utterly heartbreaking for these kids!

Custody Issues / Re: So Confused — In Need of Help
« on: Dec 30, 2011, 01:47:25 PM »
I would hate for it to be the other way around, that's true. But if it meant that DS had what he needed then that would be what is best for him. The reason I'm not comfortable with giving X full custody is because he doesn't have the financial means or the support system to help him to take care of DS.

I'm glad this site promotes both parents — I've sent many people here and have used it as a reference myself when my X and I were together (he has a daughter). I'm not trying to be selfish, and I am looking for opinions of all sorts, perhaps pointing out something that I don't see. This is part of the reason why I've posted this on a public forum of this nature. :)

But as stated above, X doesn't have the resources to take care of DS full time, which is why I feel DS coming with me is the better option for him.

Now I'm confused...you state that your X doesn't have the financial means to support your DS....but then you state you're on Public Assistance....is your X working?  If so then he has more financial support than you do....right?
When I gave my X custody...he did have the financial aspect but I wasn't so sure of the other support.  He proved me wrong and really stepped up to the plate where our daughter was concerned.  I think you may be surprised at how resorceful Fathers can be.  They may not do the things the way that "Mothers" do...but Fathers can contribute in ways you've never considered.  Especially since you have a boy....
Also like Ocean said....many judges are not allowing move aways and if they do....the parent that moved away is 100% responsible for the transportation costs!!

Custody Issues / Re: So Confused — In Need of Help
« on: Dec 30, 2011, 07:33:10 AM »
I was once in your situation...X and I were divorcing and baby girl was under 2.  I didn't have a job and didn't know how I was going to take care of myself let alone baby girl.  I did the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.  I put baby girls needs ahead of my own and gave X custody.  He was the stable one and I knew I was not.  Sure if I moved home to my parents MY life would stablize but then baby girl would be 1000's of miles from her father....I knew that wasn't fair to him or baby girl. 
You're not being fair to your son or to yourself.  You need to stablize yourself before putting your DS in this kind of situation.  Taking a child into "unknowns" is NOT stablizing his life.  Let STBX have DS with a stipulation that when you ARE stable that custody reverts to 50/50.  THat is what my X and I did.
My baby girl sigh....she's not a baby anymore.  She's now 20 y/o, going to college, has a part time job as well as the support and love of BOTH her parents.  Less than a year after the divorce, I had a great job, my own place and we reverted to the 50/50 custody.  It was great for us and for baby girl.  We did week on, week off with a strong right to first refusal (meaning that if either of us needed a sitter during our time, we would first ask the other parent) and it worked great.

Child Support Issues / Re: contempt? Really?
« on: Nov 11, 2011, 08:40:15 AM »
This same thing happened to my hubby....he went to the court date and it was dismissed.
Like Ocean said....take your paperwork that shows what you've paid, the order with the new amounts and the print out showing your paid....
Many times it's computer generated and this could be just a system error.

Custody Issues / Re: do aunt and grandparents have any rights?
« on: Nov 02, 2011, 11:48:35 AM »
For the sake and well being of your child....do this the right and legal way.  If what you're saying is true then the father wouldn't have any issue allowing you to leave with the child legally...right?
Please do think long and hard about this because I am a mother of a child that has some serious issues due to the inattentiveness of her father.  Her father and I were in a serious relationship (no he wasn't married) when I became pregnant.  He walked out when I was 6 months along and didn't look back until our child was 6 years old.  She may not have had a relationship with him, but she was very close with his family, mainly his Mother and Father (her paternal grandparents).  When her Grandfather passed away, was when she met her father for the first time....again she was 6 years old.
My daughter is now 12 and has a few psychological issues where her father is concerned.  See when they met he begged me to allow them a relationship.  I know from being on this site it is NECESSARY for a child to have the love and support of BOTH parents so I agreed.  Perhaps maybe I shouldn't have....he wasn't very attentive to her, he would say he's coming to pick her up then didn't show.  Very few phone calls inbetween visits...this has had a toll on my daughter.
I would suggest that you petition the court for child support.  If he does want visitation I wouldn't fight him on that.  If like you say he is "happily Married" then he'll probably want to keep this as quiet as possible and most likely will legally agree to you have sole custody.  Do this for your son...he deserves the support of BOTH his parents. 
As for the extended family...DO NOT cut them out ever!!  I'm soo happy that my daughter has such a large and loving extended family with his sisters, her cousins, and grandmother.  If you are allowed to move, encourage them to call him, make sure you send them photos, letters and when the child is older perhaps maybe he could go visit them during school breaks? 
The other reason we reccomend you do this the legal and right way is because what if something (god forbid) happens to you??
Now...having been a betrayed wife I think it might be best to seek some sort of counseling and to encourage the childs father to confess to his wife.  You may think that since its over theres no harm done...you're wrong.  His wife being kept in the dark is the utmost cruelest thing that can be done to her...she needs to be told so she can make the necessary choices to protect her future.  Eventually she will learn the truth and it is a billion times better to get the information from the source than to find out by "accident".  He needs to be totally honest with her and tell her EVERYTHING!!  He must not LIE at all, that only makes things WORSE!!  If he is supposedly "happily" married...then he owes it to his wife to tell her what has been done.  Ok...end of lecture......

Custody Issues / Re: Results of Court Hearing - need advice....
« on: Oct 08, 2011, 05:17:18 AM »
I would seriously considering filing an appeal....and then taking the case to the media....
Letting them know about the "UNlicensed" counselor.....and all the other BS that is going on with this case.
You may even get some Atty's to step forward ProBono??
This is something that I think media outlets would like to cover....worth a shot...

Visitation Issues / Re: Update and Question
« on: Sep 09, 2011, 11:05:32 AM »
Oh humm....Maybe...just Maybe this "event" can be used to bring even more harmoney between you and BM?
Inform BM that you will be attending as well and if she likes....would she be willing to walk with you in support of your son?  That way all the children can walk together for a very worthy cause?
Worth a shot??  Maybe??

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