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Messages - Giggles

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Custody Issues / Re: Parental Kidnapping
« on: Nov 30, 2009, 10:33:14 PM »
Most of the time just having the warrent is enough of a catalyst to get the children back.  Thats what happened in my case.  My X took off with our then 10 month old baby boy.  I was able to get a warrent placed on him and within hours, he told me where he was so I could get my son back.
Get the warrent!  This also shows that she is not stable enough to have custody back again!!

Dear Socrateaser / Re: Termination of Parental Rights
« on: Nov 27, 2009, 07:09:20 PM »

I do have an attorney, and the saving grace this time is we are going back to a judge that read her the riot act last time. My concern is she now has others doing her bidding. I hear horror stories how it can be suggested by shrinks that a parent is hurting you, and the next thing I'm in the slammer.

We do have a forensic evaluation on her. She is mentally ill (bi-polar, narcissitc, histrionic, OCD) but got custody; can't figure that one out.

I know there is proven facts where young children can be led to have false memories of abuse planted by shrinks...dig that up.  Also, you need to look into getting the shrink records on the children.
You need to push to get custody.

Dear Socrateaser / Re: Termination of Parental Rights
« on: Nov 27, 2009, 01:11:38 PM »
Typically, the only time the parental rights are terminated is if there is a Step willing to adopt.
I do hope you've been documenting everything...it sounds as if there is a lot of PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) going on.  Have you ever requested a Psych eval on your X? 
Do you have an attorney?  If so, then they should be aggressively going after her for continued harrassment by court.  To have 4 cases thrown out for the same thing...that's serious red flags.

Father's Issues / Re: In need of advice for new father
« on: Nov 23, 2009, 04:12:14 PM »
I'm glad I was able to help some.  The thing to do is Hope for the best...but plan for the worst.
Like many of the folks who've given you some excellent advice...we've been around for a while.  I've been on this board for nearly 12 years...I have learned quite a bit!!
Read the articles, read the other postings and research as much as you can.  The more you know...the better off you'll be...and if that baby does turn out to be yours, then you'll have the necessary information so you can play a major role in her life!!
(((Hugs))) Back at you!!

Father's Issues / Re: In need of advice for new father
« on: Nov 23, 2009, 11:34:06 AM »
Ha....Case in Point...Waylon just posted this on the Divorce Board...
This COULD happen to you....

Father's Issues / Re: In need of advice for new father
« on: Nov 23, 2009, 11:29:01 AM »

i know you both are right. i have been trying my hardest not to invest too much emotions into this aside from the ones that I simply cant help. im calling the legal aide intake number later today. any advice as far as working with legal aide? what i should look out for and such? and thank you all again. the clarity that you all have brought is worth its weight in gold.  oh and I already made the mistake of giving her money to help with the pregnancy. i stopped doing this a few months ago but at first she laid a pretty good guilt trip on me about needing to prove I wanted to be involved and when I told her I simply did not have the money to spare she turned that into I did not care or want to be involved and even went as far as to say I was ashamed of her and the child. this woman really knows exactly how to get under my skin lol

I just got off the phone with my Ex. she flipped out on me for not being willing to sign anything visitation or custody related until paternity was established. She also said that "everyone" has told her she was owed spousal support and I should have given her more money during this pregnancy and that it was my "sole" responsibilite to set up and pay for the paternity test. she says she has a document thats labeled "not valid until positive paternity results are received" or something to that nature that she wanted me to sign that basically spelled out custody and visitation. again she flipped when i told her i would look it over but i would not sign it.

Ahhh she's starting to show her true colors.  Even though SHE is completely in the Wrong...what a piece of sh.....  anyway.....
She and "everyone" are WRONG...you don't owe her DIDDLY because NOTHING has gone through court.
I am going to give you a VERY sound piece of advice....The relationship is OVER....finished....DONE!  She is going to try every move in the book to get you to feel sorry for her, for the baby and she is going to tug as hard as she can on those emotions.  YOU NEED TO STAND YOUR GROUND!!  This is now a BUSINESS relationship....PERIOD!!  You need to check your emotions at the door or your life could end up very miserable for the next 18 years...with or without the kid being yours!
Tell her that you will front the money for the paternity test, BUT if the child is not yours, you will demand a refund (get it writing)...she wants you to sign stuff...turn the tables on her.   You could tell her that IF the child is indeed yours that you will work with her to get a suitable custody order in place as well as child support if necessary (I say this because you're going to want to go for 50/50) but you will not sign anything before the child is born and POSITIVE paternity established.
As for "Legal Aid", most likely they probably wont help you because this is a "Civil" matter.  You could certainly ask....but be prepared to be told that.  If you are told that, then certainly come back here, there are a ton of resorces and helpful advice.
Good Luck!!!

Father's Issues / Re: In need of advice for new father
« on: Nov 23, 2009, 07:59:25 AM »

she told me only a week after we seperated this last time. and I received the due date from the doctor so it should be somewhat accurate. im 95% sure the baby is mine but its that 5% is whats messing everything up.

I hate to be a ummm "party pooper" but what makes you think she was "faithful" that 2 weeks you were together?  Apparently, her history in that department is not so good!
The others have given you OUTSTANDING advice.  But one thing that wasn't mentioned was the "emotional" drag this is going to put on you.  DO NOT and I repeat...DO NOT do anything out of "EMOTION"!
DO NOT Buy her anything for the baby until the test PROVES that you are the father.  Do not discuss visitation, child support, custody until the test PROVES that you are the father.  Reason being....others have been slapped with the title of "Emotional Father" and made to pay Child support....I kid you not!!!
Keep us posted!!

Father's Issues / Re: Holiday contact??
« on: Nov 20, 2009, 07:20:00 AM »
This topic just baffels the heck out of me.  I'm CP of 2 children and if their Dad wants to call them...he can....any time he feels like it.  If we're not home, I tell them "Hey...your Dad called...why don't you call him back."  Likewise, if the kids want to call him, they know where the phone is...
Now my DH has this issue...sigh.  I can see the frustration when he tries to call his son..the BM tells him "It's not your CO'd time to call...then hangs up"...It's just WRONG!!!

Do you know the BF's full name?  You might be able to find the address using this site...

Visitation Issues / Re: First visitation
« on: Nov 13, 2009, 07:36:46 AM »
How did it go with the BF??
If you are able to have good communication, putting all pettyness aside and really work for the benefit of the child, then anything is really possible.
I did want to suggest that once the relationship is established, it might be a good idea to hammer out an incredibly detailed parenting plan.  That way should an issue present itself, you and the BF are covered.
Thankfully, my daughter is old enough to tell her father how she feels.  If she feels he doesn't call her enough, she calls him up and lets him have it.  I've taught her to be independent and to express her feelings.  She knows she can talk to me about anything and if she complains to me about her father, I simply tell her that she needs to discuss that with him...she and him control their relationship and that's how it should be!

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