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Messages - gemini3

#11
Yeah, that was sensational headlining.  Typical.
#12
Visitation Issues / Re: preschool
Aug 17, 2011, 04:45:40 PM
Does your CO cover visitation once school starts?
#13
Have you seen your daughter at all since you seperated?  Was there any visitation or custody agreed to in the seperation paperwork?

Why supervised visitation?  What was her reason for backing out?

It's hard to advise with no background.
#14
I agree - sperm donor is extremely offensive.  It also concerns me that the reason you're so upset about him not exercising his visitation is because you have to find a babysitter on short notice, and not concern for the child.

What's best for the child is for her to grow up with a good relationship with her father.  You can't replace that for her.  I know how frustrating it is - I'm a step who deals with a less than stellar bio-mom.  But I recognize that they need the relationship with their mom to grow up happy and well adjusted.  So I grin and bear it, and try to help them navigate a difficult relationship with her so that they can get the benefit of it.  You would do well to do the same.
#15
Custody Issues / Re: School District Change?
Aug 17, 2011, 04:38:11 PM
I think it would be better for SD1 if we did it now.  She's going to an international high school, so she's going to be with all new kids anyway. 

BM is admantly against it though, as we thought she would be.  We'd have to take it in front of a judge, and there's no way we can get it in before school starts.  I think we'll have to leave this for another time.
#16
Custody Issues / Re: Moving case to another state
Aug 15, 2011, 04:37:09 PM
She asked "what's involved in transferring...?", which is a procedural question, which can absolutely be answered by the clerks office.  Why the child was relocated isn't germane to a procedural issue.

The UCCJA itself states that the "home state" has priority jurisdiction, and should relinquish it's jurisdiction before another state could make a priority ruling.  In order for that to happen, it must be shown that the child no longer has "significant connections" to the home state.  A judge would have to make that ruling.  So it is actually up to the judges discretion, based on the parameters set by those laws.

Davy, when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.  There's no reason to assume that the poster is forum shopping, or is intending to deprive the other parent of contact with the child.  If there was any inkling of that, I would (and will) be one of the first to call them out on it.
#17
Custody Issues / Re: School District Change?
Aug 15, 2011, 12:04:38 PM
There's no difference in curriculum.  I don't know what the kids think, since we haven't discussed it with them. 

The biggest reason we want to change is that SD1 is going into high school and her school starts an hour earlier that SD2's school.  Since we have to drive them, we have to either sit around for an hour between drop-off's, or pay $35 a week for before school care (even for the weeks they're with BM because we're holding a spot).  If they go to school in our district they'll be on the same schedule.

SD2 also has a half day on Wednesday's, which means 3 trips back and forth on Wednesday's.

We also take them to all of their extra-curricular activities.  In 6 years BM has taken the to their extra-curriculars 3 days.
#18
Custody Issues / School District Change?
Aug 15, 2011, 11:06:34 AM
My husband and BM have had a 50/50 joint physical custody plan, with dad having 1 extra week during the summer, for the last 15 months.  BM has worked an overnight shift on and off for a little over 2 years (she changes jobs frequently, so far 8 months is the record), and DH has ROFR when she works overnight.

BM and DH live about 15 miles from each other, and children go to school in her district.  They have been in that district since BM and DH seperated.  Since we now have the 50/50 schedule and ROFR, we drive the children back and forth to school 5 days during our weeks, and drive them to school 3 days a week on her weeks.  During our weeks it's 64 miles a day, and 32 on her weeks since we're just driving them to school and not picking them up.  With gas prices being what they are, it's been really expensive.  Not to mention we still pay CS (since he makes more than her).

She's been fighting the ROFR since she now has a live-in boyfriend but, so far, we've successfully won on that issue and she hasn't taken it to court (yet).  Her biggest complaint is that the kids "hate" the drive back and forth.  I don't think we have to worry about ROFR, since I don't think a judge will take the kids from dad to leave them with mom's boyfriend all night.  But I'm wondering how long things would have to go on like this in order for the courts to support a request for a change in school districts.  They go to school from our house 80% of the time, and we'd really like for them to go to school where we live.  As it stands, we're making the trip 13 times in 2 weeks.  She would have to make the trip here 7 times in 2 weeks.
#19
Second Families / Re: extra curriculars
Aug 15, 2011, 10:54:52 AM
You don't have to pay.  I would just politely say no, and then put any further communication from her on this issue under "ignore".  Sounds like someone desperately wants attention.
#20
Yep, vacations with CP's don't take precedence over visitation with NCP's.  All parties should be planning vacations during THEIR parenting time.