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Thanks to all of you. I definitely want a very detailed order. We don't get along right now and all we'll end up doing is being in court. Thanks again

Hello Everyone,

I would like all suggestions and thoughts. I am going to be going to trial soon for custody. I am making a list of the things that I am giong to ask for.

Please let me know of some things that you have in your order/custody plan. This could be regular things. Or issues that you feel, whether you are CP or NCP, are important. Things that you wish you had in you order. Things that you have had to go back to court over. Issues that weren'y properly clarified.

I thank you all for your suggestions. I have 2 toddlers, 1 & 3 years old.

Thanks.

Well the CO doesn't say that he can't have 6 weeks in a row. I keep the kids once you get them for the 6 weeks, and tell her to refer back to the order.

It's a gamble but not a big one.

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I have a question ya'll. How does documenting events, behavior and occurences help in the custody trial? Does the judge really take that info into consideration? Thanks.

PRAY!

I would also try not to feed into SD behavior. When she is with you include her in family activities but ignore all the little attention getting behavior and comments. Especially the comments, it'shard to ignore the junk behavior, but it really is just junk. Go about as if it didn't bother you. However set up clear guidelines.

   1. When you[sd] is disrespectful XXX way, you will spend one hour in your room.

and so forth. TOUGH LOVE is tough love for a reason. I would feel like giving in too, but don't. I agree sound like teenager (+ bm stuff) hormones.

Hey All, thanks for the guidance and support. I will keep your ideas in thought. This whole situation is so draining, that I wish I could fast forward a couple of years and, at least, have an order and semblance of a schedule going. I know that I will be going through this stuff for at least the next 17 years, given my son is only 1, but I know how it is. Thanks again.

K

Hello All, I am going through a divorce/custody right now. I have an attorney and filed for divorce in FL in the beginning of October. Following FL laws, both parents have custody bc we are still married. My husband wants to get our 1 year old son and 3 year old daughter one FULL week andhis house and then one FULL week at my house. I don't like this idea for several reason. First being, he is living with his mom and dad. His father smokes and both of our children have asthma and were hospitolized for RSV, (not related to papa's smoking) but it doesn't help their asthma for them to be around the smoke. Second, I have been the primary care provider and I as was stay-at-home mother since our son's birth. I think that the schedule he wants isn't good for such young children. And third, I think that he wants to get the kids more, so that when we go to court, he can tell the judge that he has the 50% of the time and doesn't need to pay me what the guidelines say (he made $67k last year and the guidelines say that he should be paying about $1600.00 a month). So, of course, he is having a cow about the amount. I had agreed on a temp amount bc I knew that his work was really slow and he also has his other child (10 year) to care for, he has sole custody of her and her bio-mom was declared indigent. I had my lawyer file a motion for an emergency hearing so I can get some form of a court order, but it was denied and referred to mediation. The only mediation appointment available was for the end of January and he said he has "training" that day. So now, we have to wait for the February calendar to open up. I am frustarted with all of this. Because we have no order and the way that he laws work, there is nothing I can do in regards to keeping the kids on a different schedule than the every other week thing. The schedule I want isnt too different. My husband has every other wed and sat off. So he has the kids on the weekend he has off and then the week that he has wed off, he picks them up on tuesday evening and bring them back thursday morning or takes them to their respective locations for school. I really don't like the schedule that he wants and I am afraid that if we have to go to court, the judge will rule in his favor bc its the schedule that has been in effect for the last 3 months given that there is nothing I can do.

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do? I gave him a proposal to look over. He ansewred the petition with his counterpetition for divorce and the above schedule. I told him last night that he needs to give me a proposal back so when can try and duke something out without going to court. I won't have the money to keep a lawyer around if I have to go to court. I have never been through this stuff before, personally. I mean we dealt with things bc of my husbands ex-wife, but that was somewhat different.

K

I second that. You do make a good point. But you helped create this child(ren). If you were still with the mother, your income and hers would be supporting the children. Just because you aren't together anymore doesn't mean that you shouldn't support their livelihood. Child support isn't just for the child but also, the shelter, electric and food.

My dad used to always say, "I wish I could just give you guys [my sister and I] the money." Well, that is stupid to say. If he and my mother were together, he wouldn't be handing us $300 a month, would he? No, he would be paying the mortgage, the phone bill, the car payment and more.

Good Luck!