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Topics - Dramafree

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Father's Issues / Where do we start?
« on: Nov 12, 2006, 03:13:21 AM »
I hope I explain this clearly.  I get so worked up when I talk about this.  I will try not to drag it out!!!

My husband, the NCP, has a 3 yo daughter.  We are newly married, this past June.  Legally he only has visitation rights of every Saturday for a couple of hours. But he worked retail and almost never had a Saturday off.   He pays child support and always had.  Starting last year Thanksgiving 2005 the CP, his ex-girlfriend, started letting us keep her few days here and there.  More and more as time went on.  This past July she complained that we only get his daughter when its convenient for us, which wasn't true, we always "begged" to see her.  So we offered to set up a more permanant visitation schedule. She agreed. So we started getting her every other weekend since then.  She lives 2 and a half hours away from us and we do ALL the driving, we got her to meet us half way twice.  The CP does not have a car and just recently started working at the mall and lives with her parents, that smoke.

Basically we cater to her schedule of when to pick her up, when to bring her home.  We pick her up early sometimes so she can pick up hours at work, we give her rides to appointments, etc.  When ever the daughter or the mother needs anything we are there.   The problem is that she "re-niggs" on our visitation and it is very frustrating!  We recently went on vacation for 2 weeks, family was coming into town, we asked the CP if we can have her during that time because we were going to be doing lots of kid oriented things.  She agreed and also agreed we could keep her Halloween, which fell in those two weeks.  Well during these two weeks, she asked for her to come home because a great great great grandmother passed away in another state!! His daughter doesnt even know this family memeber and the CP was saying the daughter needed to give her respects! she is three!???  Anyway we drove her back home in the middle of vacation for this.  We then were allowed to pick her back up few days later....everything was going ok, then we asked the CP the day before Halloween, Monday, if we could keep his daughter till Friday?  She said yes but then Halloween day she called saying oops she forgot the daughter had an appt wed and that her sister in law just invited them to a kids party wed night too. SOOO! we had to stop everything we planned for the rest of that week and actually too her home after trick or treating!! we got home at 1 am! We expressed how unfair and rediculous she is being with all this! We had planned this vacation few months before.    She has custody so we know what she says goes, but this has got to stop!!!  I could go on and on!!  

Im not sure where to start? But we don't want to take her from her mother. We just want equal and fair!  We are married, both employed, I am a pediatric nurse, we have two vehicles, our own place and smoke free!  We want joint custody, I think , equal and fair visitation on paper, and his child support revised.  Any advise?  Thanks, Very frustrated

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