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Messages - cinb85

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If so, maybe she can sit him down and tell him that she won't take him to court for CS as long as he is willing to "help out" with college costs for their daughter.  Maybe they can come up with some kind of agreement that works for both of them and especially for their daughter.

Child Support Issues / RE: No, you are
« on: Jun 26, 2006, 05:52:50 AM »
I don't think that ANYONE should collect welfare unless they cannot work.

Bottom line is that the original poster was merely trying to give kudos to all of those fathers who are doing everything they can for their children (despite many obstacles).  

Good luck to you!  

Child Support Issues / You are making assumptions
« on: Jun 22, 2006, 01:18:42 PM »
I worked two jobs (and at one time three jobs) and I still had to rely on my parents, churches, food banks to make ends meet when our daughter was very young.

I don't want to support ANY able-bodied adult either.  My ex is 42 years old, has 7 children (by 4 different women) who he does not support financially, emotionally, or physically, yet the state grants him welfare checks.  Doesn't seem fair to me!

I don't think that the poster likes double-standards either.  She was applauding all of those fathers who are doing what's right for their children!  No one said that ONLY men are deadbeats.  

Sounds like you have had a rough time with the courts and your situation and I am sorry about that, but we can't assume that all CPs are vicious money-hungry people, just as we can't assume that all NCPs are deadbeats.  We need to listen to each other's views without being harsh in our responses to each other.

Good luck to you!

Child Support Issues / I think that you are being a little harsh.
« on: Jun 21, 2006, 12:44:10 PM »
Not sure what the latest statistics are, but it is true that deadbeat fathers make it tough for those fathers who are sincerely trying to financially, physically and emotionally support their children.

I don't believe that the poster thinks that dads are wallets/ATM machines.  Money isn't everything.  Most of us who don't receive CS would LOVE for the bio-father to at least spend some time with the children, take them to the park, read them a book, etc.  Unfortunately most deadbeats don't even do that.

You are assuming that this person doesn't have a job just because they had to rely on welfare, assistance, food kitchens, etc.  Maybe they don't, but they might be working and just need some extra help to make ends meet.   I have had the same job for 25 years (a decent job) and I had to rely on assistance, food kitchens and hand-outs because I couldn't get by on my salary.  A parent does what they have to do to provide for their children.

By the way, my ex (who doesn't support our daughter financially, emotionally, or physically) gets welfare, which means, that we as taxpayers are supporting him.  How do you think that makes me feel!

This person was trying give kudos to all of the great dads out there who are doing what's right for their children.  Although their statistics might be incorrect, their reason for this post was to acknowledge that there are many good dads out there.

Again, I think that you were a little to harsh on the poster, but you have a right to your opinion.  I wish you the best!

Child Support Issues / I agree!
« on: Jun 21, 2006, 08:04:43 AM »
There are MANY good fathers out there, but unfortunately the deadbeats make it hard for the good Dads!!!

I know what you are going through.  I've been through pretty much the same thing with my ex.  

I was wondering, though, how you expect to get child support from him when he is arrested for driving on a suspended license?  My ex has been arrested MANY times for various things.  When he is in jail for a crime, he is able to get the child support stopped for the time that he is in jail.  The arrears also do not add up while he's in jail.  It just stops until he gets out.  Then, once he gets out, I have to file to have the child support reinstated.  Then, it takes several months before the child support office tries to enforce the order and make him come up with any money.  I hope that this is not the case with your ex.

Good luck to you!

I too, applaud all of those fathers who truly are a part of their children's lives and do everything that they can for their children!!!!

Child Support Issues / Not much that you can do!
« on: Jun 12, 2006, 01:52:33 PM »
My ex quits his job everytime they catch up with him and try to submit a wage garnishment.  Not much that I can do about that!!!  Not much the Judge can do about it!

Sorry!  I know exactly how you feel!  Good luck to you!

I tried to file federal charges against my ex will "willful non-support" and the prosecutor wouldn't take the case.  He said that ex doesn't have the means to pay the support since he isn't working.  My ex owes over $30,000 and they pretty much don't do anything to try to collect it!  They just keep telling me that "you can't get blood from a stone".  When he IS arrested, the judge lets him go on the promise that he will come up with a certain amount of money within one week.  Ex doesn't come up with any money and they just re-issue another warrant.  

My ex never files income tax either (never hold a job for very long), but he also knows that if he does file, the money will be taken away from him and paid out in CS.

Good luck to you!  I KNOW how aggravating this is!!!

Child Support Issues / You are so right!
« on: May 31, 2006, 06:26:14 AM »
One day while I was at court for an enforcement hearing, there were several of us outside of the hearing room waiting for our turn before the haring officer.  We all got talking and each one of us had a very different story.  There were guys there who WERE paying their CS, yet the police were constantly arresting them because they fell behind by a very little amount.  There was a guy there who had custody of his daughter.  The bio-mom was a drug addict and he was fighting to keep the daughter away from her until she got some help for her addiction.  The mother hadn't paid one dime in support.

We all listened to each other's stories and could all understand each other's cases.  We even joked about how we should put together a show on TV talking about ALL of the different sides of the Child Support issues.  Sad thing is that the courts who are supposed to do what's "in the best interest of the child" seemed to fail in all of our cases.  The person who was trying to shirk the responsibilities (whether it be the CP or NCP) seemed to be the person who was getting away with it.

Good luck to you and your DH!!!  AND especially DH's son!!!

that you have gone above and beyond in your obligations to your child, but don't forget there are some CPs (me being one) out there who are getting screwed as well because our ex's dont' want to work and continue to ignore their children and their obligations.

I applaud the many fathers who do the right thing by their children, but it's fathers like my ex who make it hard for those fathers like you.

I don't feel that I am free to do as I wish.  I have worked three jobs in the past to support my child because my ex doesn't help support her.  I have paid EVERY medical bill for our daughter since was born even though he has been court-orderd to pay 26%.  Thank god she is a pretty healthy child!!!  But...there have been emergency room visits due to accidental injuries that I REALLY could have used some help in paying!

Good luck to all of the great fathers out there!  I know that it's been a struggle, but at least you can hold your head up high knowing that you took care of your children.  I wonder if the CPs in your particular cases can feel the same.  I doubt it.

Child Support Issues / Really??? That's interesting!!!
« on: May 08, 2006, 06:23:01 AM »

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