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I don't see anything wrong with that.  I have it in a custodial account in her name.  This means that I can take the money out if needed (would only do that in an emergency).

Not sure how you will prove that the invitro was financed by CS.

NCP should file for modification based the children no longer attending daycare or after school care.

but in NJ, they don't take the income of the ex's spouse into consideration when computing child support.

I have the same problem that you do have, except I am the CP.  I have a decent job, but my ex doesn't work (lives off his girlfriend).  Because of this, they do input income, but it's very minimal.  Also because of this I have to pay a much larger portion of our daughter's medical bills (which I don't think is fair).   What state are you in?  Your state probably has a child support website with information on it about inputting income.

I know exactly how you feel, but unfortunately the courts don't really do much to help people like us out.

Good luck to you and your child!!!

I am a CP, and if I were to receive CS, I would have NO problem accounting for it each week.

In theory making the CP accountable for the CS is a good idea, but it will never work.  Those CPs who DON'T spend the CS on the children are people with no common decency and with no morals.  These kind of people are very good at getting away with things and will have NO problem making something up to show accountability.

If my ex were to ask me today to account for the little CS that he has paid so far this year, I would do it in a hearbeat, because I KNOW that the CS has been spent totally on our daughter!

I misunderstood what you meant about the parents not working three jobs.  I didn't like working three jobs.  It took time away from my daughter and I (luckily my best friend lived next door, so she took care of her while I worked and my daughter was very comfortable with her and her son).  But, I couldn't afford the rent without working extra jobs.  Luckily, due to my hard work and lots of schooling, I've gotten several promotions and things are looking up!

My ex has nothing that they can put a lien on and he has no driver's license.  He has lived off other women since we broke up 14 years ago.
So....there's not much they can do to him except for arrest him every once in awhile.  And he knows that!

The last time that I was at court for an enforcement hearing, there were several of us out in the waiting room.  We all got talking and all of our stories were completely different.  There was a guy there who was paying faithfully every week. Unfortunately it wasn't the total amount because he didn't make enough to pay the total amount.  But it was a decent amount that he was paying every week.  He told me that the police are constantly arresting him for failure to pay CS.  He said that his ex was calling him constantly and calling him a bad father.  My ex never pays CS until he hears that there's a warrant out for his arrest, then he "might" pay $10 or $25 and the CS office will revoke the warrant.  He knows that they will do this, so he knows how to play the game.

There's was a woman there who's ex wanted the support lowered to $25/week for two children.  She was working, but due to the high cost of daycare, money was tight for her.  She was actually crying in the waiting room because she didn't know how she was going to pay her rent for that month.  I felt so bad for her, because I knew exactly what she was going through.  When my ex left, he left with all of the bill money. I was frantic!  Didn't know how I was going to pay my bills.  Luckily I was able to find some help, but it wasn't easy.

Then there was a guy who wanted custody of his daughter because his ex was very unstable (did drugs and drinks).  His ex just gave birth to another baby and was living with an abusive man (the father of the baby).  Of course, his ex wouldn't give him custody, so he was there to fight for his daughter.  

It was a very interesting day.  We could all understand each other's situations and could sympathize.  We even joked that we should do a talk show like this where we could talk about our situations so the world (and the courts) could see all sides of the stories and how they affect the children.

You're right.  Many good things came out of this.  I have a beautiful daughter who is the love of my life!  She's a good girl, very loving and has a bright future ahead of her!

Good luck to you and thanks for your opinions.

Because he admitted to his heroin usage a couple of years ago, he has court-ordered supervised visits.  But...he has NEVER exercised his visitation.

I disagree with you about the additional sibling preventing the
parents from being able to work as much. As I said, I am a single mother and for 5 years I worked THREE jobs!!! If I can do it, then
anyone can do it!!!  I DID whatever I had to do to support our daughter while he rarely worked even one job.

I still don't think that the first child's CS should be lowered because another child is born, simply because the NCP fathered another child.  Now....if the father supports that second child and does everything he can (like most fathers) do for the first child, then I would agree to a small reduction in child support.  We all make decisions that we have to deal with.  If I make a decision to have another child, then it is my responsibility to provide for that child.  If my ex decides to father more children, then it is HIS responsibility to support those children.  

But, don't get me wrong, I don't want to see ANY of his children suffer.
If our daughter was a part of her siblings lives, we would do whatever we can to help those children out (as we have done for her one sibling that she does have a relationship with).

I guess it's my bad luck that my ex turned out to be an unfit parent.
But I refuse to let our daughter suffer for it!  I do eveything that I can for her!

Unfortunately the CS office in my area is so fed up with him, that they've just given up!  They tell me that I can't get blood from a stone!

One good thing that came out of all of this is that I've become a very strong woman and I hope that my daughter becomes a strong woman as well so she doesn't have to put up with people like my ex!

Bottom line is that we both agree that both parents should support the children!

If my ex was part of our DD's life and spent time with her, the lack of CS wouldn't bother me quite as much.  But this is a man who has ignored our DD for 14 years and only pays CS when he is arrested.  
I also wish that my ex would help our DD develop a relationship with her siblings, but he just doesn't seem to care.  All he cares about is getting high and partying with women while his children suffer because he doesn't help out!

Thanks for not posting nasty responses.  We both have a right to our opinions and seems to me that even though we don't agree on everything, we do agree that the children are what's important.

Again, good luck to you!

The parent should do everything that they can to make sure that BOTH children get what they need.  

I also don't agree about the additional sibling preventing the parents from being able to work as much.  I am a single mother and for 5 years I worked THREE jobs!!!  If I can do it, then anyone can do it!!!

I never said that the first child should receive a larger share than the other siblings.  I just hate it when my ex gets our Daughter's CS lowered to his fathering more children that he DOESN'T support!

Bottom line is that ALL children should be supported by BOTH parents.  Obviously my ex doesn't agree!

Good luck to all of you!

You said:

"As someone else pointed out, in many CS support situations, the CP will have their support increased because now they have multiple children for whom to provide. That makes sense to you? NCP has to pay more for his child because you have to support another child?"

Huh?

If I (I am a CP) have another child, I can't get more CS from my ex.  That's not possible. And...it should'nt be possible.  That makes no more sense than it does for CS for the first child to be lowered because the NCP decides to have more children.  When I couldn't afford to support our DD because my ex wasn't helping out by paying the CS, I got two part-time jobs (on top of my full-time job) to support our daughter.  My point is that you do whatever you have to do to support ALL of your children.  There are MANY intact families out there where at least one parent works two jobs (sometimes 3, like myself).  You do what you have to do to support your children!

I don't believe that child #1 should get any more ($$ or physical/emotional support) from the NCP than child #7.  But...when a father keeps fathering children by several different women and doesn't support ANY of them, it pisses me off when he gets a reduction in CS.  The NCP needs to support all of their children (just as the CP does).

My ex has fathered 7 children.  Our DD only has a relationship with one of his other children (we have tried to develop a relationship with all of the children, but have been unsuccessful).  We adore that child and I have given that child more attention, love, and material things than my ex (her own father) has.  Unfortunately in our case, there are 7 children who are totally neglected by their father (both financially and emotionally)!  It's a very sad situation!

nm

Yes, both parents should contribute financially to the support of the child.
My ex has worked VERY little over the 14 years that our daughter has been on this earth.  Even when he does work, he doesn't pay the CS until they start to garnish his wages, then he ends up quitting his job (or getting fired for not showing up).

I've worked the same job for over 25 years and have worked VERY hard to get promoted to where I make a decent amount now (but it wasn't easy while raising our daughter totally by myself).  I just wish that my ex would get a job and pay "something" each week.  Our daughter deserves his support!