Messages

be able to answer that question.

of the child/ren.

You deserve better than her and one day you'll get it.  It may take a while (and I would strongly suggest taking time out for yourself to be alone and heal from this hurt . . . otherwise every woman you date will pay for the wrong she's done.)  

Your son is your son and needs to be parented.  He shouldn't become your buddy or your companion.  You need friends for that.  Don't be your son's friend, be his parent.

My birth mother regrets it.  My brother was 7 and I was 4 when the divorce was final.  I don't remember visitations but I'm told she had them for a while.  I think I was probably 7 or 8 when she dropped out for good.  My dad made sure I maintained a relationship with her parents (lived in the same town as his parents so it was easy to do).  I don't think my stepmom liked it much but what was she going to do?  

When I turned 18, BM took my brother (then 21) and I out to eat.  I didn't care much for it and let my feelings be known.  My brother kicked me under the table numerous times.  She stepped away again.  Came back after I had my first child and my aunt (her sister) came to help me and visited with her before going back home.  Drifted out again.  Came back when I had my second child.  She's been back since then and it's okay but there's no real bond there.

She's told me a number of times that if she had to do it all over again, she'd take me with her.  Not sure why she'd take me and not my brother but it's what she has said.

eom

Or depending on why the divorce is happening, hurt and anger.  I can't remember your particular situation but remember that divorce, especially when it wasn't your idea, is a very emotionally devastating time.  If the divorce was your idea, she may want you to hurt as much as she is.  If her actions warranted the divorce (adultery) she may realize what she's losing and wants to make it difficult in hopes that you'll give up and come back and in some twisted way, she's sure she can make it work.  If she's even slightly aware that she's not the perfect mother, she may fear losing her daughter to you and therefore would prefer to limit time to prevent this.  So many different possibilities, all pointing to fear, hurt or anger.

in circumstances to have it heard.  It would not look good that you signed and agreed and then immediately changed your mind.  Know what you want and ask for it.  Don't rely on a second chance that you may not get.

Most people glance at the main topic and don't realize that you've posted updates.  

Personal opinion but the worst thing you can do is lie on the questionnaire.  Be honest and include explanations.  Telling lies in hopes that it won't be discovered will just be worst than the truth.  

No one wakes up one day and decides to leave without ever having the thought before.  Yes, the left spouse might have been caught off guard or completely surprised by it but I'm betting the leaving spouse would deny that it was suddenly and that there were warning signs prior to his/her leaving.