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as far as i know, the school placed her in advanced classes without discussing it with us.

we have always had conflict. it has gotten much worse over the past two years.

there was an incident that happened and involved the kids that occurred in january of 07... this is when the children began showing problems.

prior to that, the previous psychologist that he unilaterally chose to take them to (for court purposes) stated that they were very well adjusted. i had already told him that i didn't feel that they needed therapy and felt it was detrimental to burden them with it unnecessarily. i just allowed it to see what would happen.

the incident in 07...... he accused my husband of sexual abuse. again unilaterally taking the children to another psychologist to get dcf involved.
but he made a mistake and dcf ended up investigating him.
so, he really blew up in the therapist's office.

during this incident he involved the children by playing them against each other. asking DD if she showered with DD. she told him 'no way. that's gross.'
according to her... BF then told her that her brother told him that happened. she told me she knew he was lying and felt he was trying to tear us apart.
her brother walked in and her her tell me part of this and was upset to hear it.

he also interrogated our son. he had gotten in trouble at school about a note. the therapist feels he was shamed.

basically, they haven't been the same since.

we have the FCAT (florida)  and whether or not their grades are good, if they fail the FCAT they do not go on to the next grade.

as far as i know we did not choose to place her in advanced classes. right away when i realized that she was in all advanced classes, i was concerned.

she had a great deal of difficultly last year and the year before during the state testing weeks. she does not deal well under pressure.

i knew that my concern would not be given any merit if i brought it up to the BF. so i just hoped that she would adjust.

i really do not like telling teacher's things like that. i have told them that it was a high conflict custody situation and to let me know if she seemed to be having some problems.

it would definitely be better coming from the teachers.

the newest in the days of our lives..

DD has been struggling with middle school. she is in all advanced classes and in a school for the arts. she is having trouble dealing with the criticism of her work. the class is really hard. the teacher even told us that if they get a C they are doing great.

DD is losing text books, gym clothes, putting off assignments to last minute.

we have been trying out a swim team that she wants to join. when i became aware of an assignment that she put off for a week and a text book that had been lost for two weeks, i realized just how much trouble she is having.
she is not normally like this. she loves school and is eager to do school work.
in her last year at elementary school she received a trophy for the highest GPA and another for honor roll all year.

because of these adjustment issues i was beginning to feel that adding an extracurricular activity may not be a good idea at this time. i spoke with BF and suggested we wait two weeks to give her a little more time to gain some stability.

he has responded by saying that he will be taking her to swim and that 'well, if you don't take her that's your responsibility'
'you can disappoint her if you wish'
oh, and that my reasons are not 'valid'. but that is what he says about concerns or what i have to say.

so now, what do i do for DD?  do i go ahead and take her to swim?

or do i help her focus on her schoolwork and overcome her struggles with this new school?

(we have a 50/50 rotating schedule)

i am afraid her grades will suffer based on what i have been seeing so far.

now i can see that it might be possible, though unlikely, that he could have chilled out and wants to apologize or compromise or whatever.... anything other than what i am expecting.

without allowing him to vent could make him take his frustration out on the kids or his wife in their presence.

so i will at least let it go to voice mail in the future.

in your case crockpot.... BM is just using it to antagonize DH. in times like this he could loose his cool. in fact, she could be setting him up to do that.
don't fall into her trap.

i understand what you are saying. i have only done this when he was already calling me names, so i hung up on him. and he will call twenty times in a fit of anger.

i've done the voicemail as evidence thing. the evaluator didn't pay it much mind.

on one of them i know the kids were in the car with him, because he demanded i meet him to get them. he was already angry and i would only pick them up at the babysitter's house. he was angry i wouldn't meet him at his office.

not one mention in the evaluation report.
so he gets away with it.
and if that is true... i don't have to listen to it.

i do the pick up and hang up thing. maybe it isn't the best thing to do, but my ex is verbally abusive. so when i know he is angry and just wants to vent it on me, i do that.
mostly to protect myself from what he will say. i admit it gets to me at times, so i would rather not hear it, even on voicemail.

because in voicemail, he is the only one that can hang up... so he lets me have it.

dealing with this type of parent can be difficult. try to remain focused. try to remain cool with things like this. i realize it is difficult and she is probably the ONE person that can get to you like this.
dealing with the situations as calm and without striking back is always the best route and will be admired by your children in years to come. they sense the hostility in their parents. don't let them sense that in you or DH.

so, i am not sure that refusing to pick up the pills is a good idea.
however, maybe i am not the best person to give an opinion on that, since i tend to do whatever it takes, aggravating or not. i give in a great deal, unless it will harm the child(ren) if i go along with the demands.

since the pharmacy did split the Rx... maybe you should contact the pharmacy manager.
in our case, i live on one side of town and the OP lives on another. we either alternate filling the Rx or i will fill it for my portion, paying a 'partial fill price' and the remainder can be filled, picked up, and paid for at another location across town.

the other option is to get samples. i am not sure if your child's medication is available at the physicians office as samples, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

i know that we stretch out our Rx supply by requesting samples at every office.

it may not work for you, but you can try.

best wishes

class 1-5 refers to controlled substances.
the classification using lettering, like 'class c' refers to the system used to classify drugs based on the threat to an unborn fetus.... during pregnancy.

Adderall is a class II drug for controlled substances.

it seems ridiculous that BM would do this. initially i thought it was about the cost... but you are saying that BM paid for it. what is the point? did she give a reason?

seems like BM is unreasonably frustrating DH's access to the child's medication.

a contentious parent would go out of their way to make it possible for their child to receive proper medical treatment.

all i know is that i live in florida.

i have split a class 4 drug, many times.

i have also had class 4 and class 5 medications called in and faxed more times than i can count. i may have had a written script for these four times in 10 years.

but, try what kitty suggested.

in my experience this is possible.
walgreens does this for my family, as it is necessary.

it is basically the same concept if the pharmacy does not have enough of a drug on hand and must only give you a 'partial fill'. this does not mean that they will charge you for all of the medication. you will pay a partial price and the remainder with the pharmacy has the remainder in stock.
this is from personal experience as well.

hope this helps.