Messages

You need to hire an attorney in the town the children live in, and file for a change of parenting time, or better, a change of custody.

AS LONG AS YOUR CASE IS PENDING, SHE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO MOVE!

Then move there ASAP after you filed, and be prepared to get the same arrangement that is already in place. Also, it will be helpful if you can prove that she stated she will move when you move to her town just to get away from you. Is it in writing? Great! If you are both in one-party states, then record the conversation during which she makes that claim.
That will give you a lot of help.

Kent!

First of all, you cannot file parental kidnapping charges against her. At this moment, since you are not married, she is the only lawful custodian of the child, and she can take the child wherever she wants to.

You need to hire an attorney IMMEDIATELY (if you can't afford one, then beg and borrow until you can).

The attorney needs to file for a paternity test and for custody. I don't believe the situation warrants an emergency hearing, so count on this taking 3-6 months. Maybe the refusal to let you spend time with the child, or even see the child may get you an emergency hearing, but don't count on it.

Start reading this website, start at the Articles pages.

Kent!

MB is right.

In most states it technically means that the children may not be taken out of state even for a vacation. However, as this clause is meant to prevent people moving away, it is violated all the time with vacations, and condoned by the courts.

You can file for contempt, but the judge will not appreciate you wasting his time with such petty stuff.

Do document it though, if you are in a one-party state, record your conversations with her, and it may show a pattern of disregard for the court order. By the time you have 20 or more blatant violations FROM WHICH YOU SUFFERED in one way or another (and this one does not qualify for that), then you can take her to court for contempt.

Kent!

First off,  Please don't post the same message 4 times.

Next, you need to hire an attorney TODAY and insist he files for an EMERGENCY HEARING for temporary custody.
Using the alleged (child) molestation your wife went through with her father is a good argument, however, since (I assume) there were never any charges filed, it is also a weak argument.

Get any documentation you can get that YOU are the primary care taker (doctor's visits etc.).

Stay clean - no alcohol, tobacco, drugs - nothing. Live your life as clean as you can be.

Start reading on this website, start with the Articles pages : http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.php  and start with the Emergency First Aid section first.

Keep in mind that this is not just an argument that can be smoothened over; THIS IS WAR.

Prepare for war, fight like hell (but fight clean), and keep the best interest of your child in mind.

Kent!

Our son is 12. In case of a dispute, the GA courts let the wishes of the child weigh heavily.
Therefore, I am not worried. I let the status quo establish itself without upsetting anything.

No judge will enforce the right of first refusal for a 12 year old against a stepparent for 8 hours of classes. Especially not against the explicit wishes of the 12 year old child.

For much younger children AND prolonged absence it will be different, but not in this case.

Kent!

Windd,

There is a right of first refusal. However, since she dropped him off at my doorstep and voluntarily gave up her time, she won't have a leg to stand on.
Next to that, the right of first refusal will not prevail over a stepparent.

Kent!

Especially if you have 50/50 time with your children, you will have sufficient opportunity to counter any PAS attempts.
Spend all the quality time with your children that you can, be honest with them, and don't hide the truth from them.
You will be amazed how much they will pick up on, even at their young age.

Kent!

Jan,

The agreement so far is that he will be with his mother every other weekend from Friday 6:00 pm until Sunday 7:30 pm.
Which weekend that is is still in dispute; I go to school every other weekend, and she insists those are the weekends he should be with me.
Since our son does NOT want that, we'll see what happens... ;)

Kent!

In my case the question would be: How did I NOT end up with full sole custody?

If the mother is a documented stripper...

If the mother admits in court to prostitution and taking her 2 year old son with her to her customers...

If the mother is documented as a liar in the custody evaluation...

(Not to mention fully unwilling to cooperate with the father in any form or way)

Why did she still end up with 50/50 physical custody?

At least I obtained sole legal and primary residency. Now, 5 years later, and 5 years of attempted (but failed) PAS, our son has given her so much sh$% that she just gave up and dropped him off at my doorstep.
He despises the every other weekend he has to spend with her (per my direction), but other than that, he's fine.

The PAS failed because I did spend every free minute I had with him. We played basketball, baseball, card games (while I was cooking our dinner), got him a gokart, went to all his school functions, assistant-coached his sports teams, didn't miss a practice or a game, and loved him as much as I could.

If your employer is an obstacle, please remember something a former Coke CEO once said:

"Life is like juggling 5 balls; they are labeled FAMILY, HEALTH, INTEGRITY, LOVE, and WORK.
The first 4 are made out of crystal; if you drop it, it will get a scuffmark, a crack, or it may even break. It will never be the same again.
The ball labeled WORK however appears to be made of rubber; every time you drop it, it bounces right back at you."

Kent!

Check if there is a local chapter of Parents Without Partners.
It's a very low-cost membership group ($ 35.00 / year) that consists of mainly divorced and still single parents with many activities for adults, children, and for both.

Kent!