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Messages - Miller

#11
Dear Socrateaser / CS Review
Feb 27, 2006, 09:10:24 AM
I had posted previously about filing for a child support review in IL.  CS has never been reviewed (since the original amount was set) which was over 9 years ago.

My ex had always threatened to file for custody if a CS review was done.  He had said some things recently that upset our son about custody and such.

I received an update from my attorney saying that she had received a copy of a letter that my ex's attorney had sent him along with the CS review papers that we filed.  His attorney requested a new retainer to continue representing him and gave him a deadline by which to pay.  The retainer was a couple thousand dollars which I thought sounded pretty high.

At this point, his attorney has admitted to my attorney that she isn't sure if he'll continue to retain her because she plans to be honest with him that he can't fight the CS review.  And, that custody is not an issue as there hasn't been a change in circumstances.  He's meeting with her this week.

My questions:

1.  Is it common for an attorney to request a retainer everytime an issue arises?  I've never had this happen.  I paid a retainer when I first got my attorney and then have always just received a bill for any other matters.

2.  If my ex doesn't keep his attorney and she withdraws, then does my attorney have to start all over by serving him?  Or does it count since we served his attorney of record?  My attorney epxressed that it could become a more drawn-out process if his attorney withdraws.
#12
Dear Socrateaser / Reason for custody reversal?
Feb 14, 2006, 06:52:19 AM
I'm in IL.  I have sole legal and physical custody of my 11 year old son.  My son has liberal visitation with his father...EOW, one overnight through the week, lengthy period at Christmas, EO Spring Break, half of the extra days off school (i.e., M.L. King day), and alternate holidays.  We have been divorced for over 9 years.  There was not a custody battle back then, my ex signed the papers willingly.

As our son has gotten older, his expenses have also gone up.  We have never reviewed CS in all this time.  My ex had always threatened me that if I ever asked for more CS then he would file for custody.  Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I did file for a CS review last month mainly because our son's expenses really have increased.

Our son came home last night from spending the weekend with his dad and he was so upset.  It seems his dad was pressuring him to move over there.  Our son is so sensitive anyway and was up half the night with an upset stomach.  I can honestly say that my son and I have a strong bond and that he talks very openly with me.  He is a good student (A's and B's with an occasional C on his report card), particpates in several activities, has lots of friends, and is a happy little boy.

If my ex is able to brainwash our son against me, is that enough to overturn custody?

How much weight does the child's voice carry in a situation like this?
#13
but my experience is from my own personal knowledge of what happened in an IL courtroom just a few months ago.  The court order was written like the one posted here where CS had been kept at the same amount because the NCP had agreed to cover other expenses of the child's.  After a few years, CP went back and asked for an increase in CS.  The CS was increased yet the NCP has to keep paying the larger portion of the other expense of the child's.  The court order was not written to technically "link" the two things so they weren't considered together.

I don't know what county is being used in this case so it's very likely not the same as the county that I'm in.  But, I would think that most IL courts are somewhat alike.

Again, definitely not trying to give any legal advice and just wanted to share my first-hand knowledge of what happened recently in a similar case in IL.

I'd post on the IL boards about this, but I can never get them to come up.
#14
Dear Socrateaser / My experience...
Oct 18, 2005, 12:35:43 PM
with the courts in IL...she could get an increase in CS and the school tuition wouldn't automatically be a consideration.  The way it is worded does not have the two linked.  Of course, you could always argue that your reasoning for agreeing to pay the school tuition was because the CS would remain at the same amount.  How much longer until the four years are up?  I'd definitely expect your ex to go back for more CS at that point.
#15
Dear Socrateaser / re: the CS ques.
Oct 17, 2005, 11:35:02 AM
I'm in IL and the CS can be modified if the NCP is making more money.  There really isn't any "significant change of circumstances" requirement.  The significant change could just be that the NCP is making more money.  Does your order specifically state that you are paying lower CS because of your agreement to pay the school tuition?  Or is the school tuition just listed in there separately?  If it's separately, then that's bad for you.  A friend of mine had agreed to pay higher on certain expenses of the child's (medical, school, etc.) and his ex agreed to a lower CS amount.  This was fine for many years until just recently when she decided she wanted more money.  Now, he's paying guideline CS (double what he was paying before) and still having to pay the other expenses.
#16
Dear Socrateaser / Hmmm...
Sep 08, 2005, 01:30:02 PM
I'm not Socrateaser, but our school form also has a line that says "preferred name".  But, it's not for the child's last name.  It's for what they prefer to be called.  For instance, if the child's name is Timothy but he is called Timmy by everyone, then you write "Timmy" in the preferred name spot.  Your ex is going to have the school all confused and thinking that your son is called by a last name.
#17
Dear Socrateaser / I'm also in IL...
Aug 17, 2005, 12:10:57 PM
and I'm not an attorney nor should anything I said be viewed as legal advice.  But, my brother-in-law just went through a court hearing regarding college expenses and this is something that my DH has already discussed with his attorney.  We're in central IL and here's how it works for us.

College expenses can and usually are awarded if the CP petitions the court.  However, do not confuse this with child support because that's not what it is.  Before the court will consider the expenses, the CP must first file for financial aid and have that paperwork filed with the court.  If you are a single mother, then it's very likely that your son could get a lot of financial aid.

The expenses that my brother-in-law was ordered to pay half of were tuition, books, and fees.  He's also helping pay the health insurance premium.  Since his child is attending a community college and living at home, then there are no room/board charges as there would be for a 4-year university.  Also, he pays his half of the expenses directly to the college at the beginning of each semester, so there is no longer anything garnished from his wages.
#18
Dear Socrateaser / I'm in IL too...
Apr 21, 2005, 06:13:13 AM
and I know someone that had somehow paid too much CS and the judge did apply that credit and the person was able to stop paying the CS a couple months before the child graduated from high school (the child had turned 18 already).  So, just wanted to let you know that there has been a judge in IL that acknowledged the overpayment in favor of the NCP.
#19
Dear Socrateaser / Summer Weeks
Apr 18, 2005, 05:30:26 AM
I had posted previously about BM wanting to change how the summer weeks are handled.  My DH gets 6 consecutive weeks with SD each summer and has to let BM know the dates by April 1 each year.  During that time, he gets one uninterrupted week for vacation purposes.  During the remainder of the summer, BM gets one uninterrupted week for vacation purposes.  She is saying that since SD plays softball during the beginning of the summer (and DH has always taken his summer weeks during the latter part of the summer) that she should get to choose her vacation week whenever she wants even if it would interfere with DH's 6 weeks.  She says that then he would have to add a week to the beginning or end of his summer weeks to make-up for her vacation week being right in the middle of his "consecutive" weeks.  She has also expressed a problem with the fact that DH chooses his 6 weeks so that they overlap with the month that I am off work each summer.  Our thought has always been that it makes the most sense to have SD during the summer at a time when we know one of us can be home with her.  Just doesn't make sense to have her sit at our house by herself.

We receive a Motion to Modify in the mail last week but it hasn't been filed with the court.  It wasn't even dated.  We have scheduled an appointment with our attorney for later this week to discuss what's going on.

Since SD is now a teenager, DH asked her if it was important to her to be at our house when I am home in the summer.  SD has said that it is and she doesn't want to have to come at another time.  She even wrote a letter for us to give to our attorney so that her (SD's) feelings are known.

1.  Do you think it will help us to have this letter from SD?

We have put together an overview of the past summers to show that there have been weeks that BM could have chosen for her vacation week that would not have interfered with the softball season, but she chose to pick a week that did.

2.  Will it help for us to show what has happened in the past and that she did not choose a week when there was not games when she could have?
#20
Dear Socrateaser / Here's the exact wording...
Apr 11, 2005, 11:31:08 AM
DH shall have 6 consecutive weeks with SD in the summer.  DH shall give BM written notice of his 6 weeks as soon as possible but not later than April 1.  DH shall have one week of uninterrupted time with SD during his 6 weeks.  He will notify BM in writing of that one-week period no later than 14 days before it occurs.  BM shall have one week of uninterrupted time with SD during the remainder of summer break.  BM will notify DH in writing of her one-week period no later than 14 days before it occurs.

********
The court ordered that the weeks must be consecutive.  Is there a reason that the court would do this?  Since BM is trying to split the weeks up (and DH is against it) then we're trying to determine if it's the "norm" to have the weeks ordered consecutively.