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ATTENTION MICHIGAN CHILD SUPPORT PAYORS/RECEIPIENTS:

A major national press/media reporter is seeking to interview child support payors and recipients in Michigan who have documented proof that their child support payments have been lost, misapplied, etc., by the Friend of the Court (FOC) or State Disbursement Unit (SDU) resulting in financial hardships.

If you qualify, please respond (via email reply only) with the following information not later than Wednesday, June 9:

Payor & Recipient Name/addresses/phone numbers
Michigan County of jurisdiction
FOC Case#
Amount of error

Important...please do not respond if you are unable to verify your claim of errors with the appropriate documentation (copies required).  In such event, your case will not be used and valuable time would be wasted.  Forward this email as appropriate.

Thank you,

Murray Davis
Vice President
The National Family Justice Association

Credits to SallyandJack for this idea.  I just mailed my letter.  Regarding that custody battle for the twins in New York, apparently, the birth mom has a follow up hearing with the judge in 5 weeks.  

I think we should all write letters of accomodation to the judge in this case for their strength and foresight.  I'd hate to see the courts fold to the pressures of public opinions in five weeks.  The judge needs to hear from our silent majority.  Tell the judge your story.  

It's your chance to be heard!  WE FELLED DAVID AND GOLIATH for their tacky shirts.  We can make a difference!

Hereis SallyandJack's post from the custody board

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yesterday, before I even signed on here - I sent a short note via email to the judge who made the ruling. I opted to email it rather than snail mail for a few reasons though.

June 3, 2004
The Honorable Judge Goldberg
60 Lafayette Street
New York, NY 10013

Dear Judge Goldberg,

I wanted to write you a quick note of support on your ruling on the Marks/Aylsworth case.

I have seen the horrible effects of Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS) first hand and I think that your ruling will have a positive impact on an issue that has been largely ignored by the courts.

It is about time that someone took a stand against this disgusting epidemic in our country. Your ruling was one made for the children and many people will see that. Again, kudos to a job well done.

Hi,

Does anyone have any links for stats and articles on the use of false domestic violence allegations as a tactic for advantages in divorce proceedings?  I've already printed the info off of this site.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Mother and father divorce.  

Mother has custody, tells children that cell phone father gave them will cause brain cancer, kids throw phone away.  

Mother tells children that father wants to kidnap them, children refuse to go on vacation with him.  

Mother tells children, who they adopted from Romania, that if father ever had custody of them, the father would ship them back to the Romanian orphanage they fear and have nightmares about.

Oldest son kills father.

Mother says she didn't mean the things she said about the father, the kids should have known better, they should have known she was just venting.

Maybe we should all tell our stories to the writers of cop and law shows, looks like their finally giving us some air time...interesting.

Has anyone had success in having this reduced?  How did you write it up as to be taken seriously.

My husband just put in for an evaulation to reduce child support and child care. Support is what it is, based on the 1040.

My question is how to dispute child care? We want this amount reduced from $600/month to $150.  What's the best way to submit this on the questionnaire?

It's a bogus amount, birth mother pays to the child's grandmother, who they live with. When the child care was established, mom worked nights and it was for 32 hours. Now, mom works while child is in school full time, at the most 10 hours.  

If mom does not claim child care on her 1040; ergo causing grandma to be taxed on the income, can we have the Friend of the Court through out the amount altogether?  Mom refuses to reduce amount on her own, says it's what she pays her mom. It's not arms length.

Do we just submit a request to lower this amount based on change in circumstances? IE...mom worked 32 hours/week while child at home and now child only has day care for 10?  I know also to show the market rate for the area.

My DH and I are desperate to have his daughter live with us.  We filed a change in custody motion last year that fell on deaf ears.  Lesson learned, no matter what the evidence, it doesn't matter to challenge custody.

His Ex is emotionally checked out on the child.  The child is desperately lonely at her mom's house (they live with her parents).  At the end of each visitation, the child, who's 6, is so upset to leave.  It tears your heart out.  We live in Chicago, the Ex in upper state NY.

His Ex is all about the money.  We owe her a substantial amount of money on the property settlement.  I had a thought that if we gave his Ex all of the money we owe her now, instead of over the next 3 years, in exchange for alternating school years with the child living with us.  My DH thinks the Ex might bite on that however her mother might but up a stink because the grandma is obsessed with the child.

It wouldn't be a change in custody, rather a change in parenting time.  Do you think that concept would fly in a change of parenting time motion?

I know it would be hard for the child to switch schools every year but that is pale in comparison to the emotional damage she's suffering living in mom.  The lesser of two evils so to speak.  The child has absolutely no "community" at her mom's house (mom is anti-social, no friends).  The child's community here is extensive and loving.

I have a psychologist who would write a report in our favor to that affect.  What  are you thoughts on this strategy?

Thanks to everyone here at SPARC for their advice and wisdom, either directly or indirectly.  Just reading other people posts and people here sharing their experiences has been tremendously helpful and insightful.

My DH just called me from court.  We got everything that we wanted.  We didn't contest his Ex moving from Detroit to Buffalo.  In turn we got joint legal custody and a wonderful parenting plan.

We lost many battles but I feel as though we won a major war.  I could not have done this without the SPARC community.  So many times I thought I was losing my mind only to find helping arms here to pull me back up.

God Bless!

I'm sure everyone's getting this reply from Claire's.  See the bottom of this message.

What's up with it?  

My feeling is that they're testing the validity of the emails.  It's easy to produce mass emails from bogus email addresses.  Claire's probably can't believe the response that this merchandise generated.

Considering that Macy's and Universal pulled immediately and we've not heard a thing regarding Claire's pulling this merchandise makes me think that they're not going to pull it.

Also something very curious, this is the first email that had the confidentiality disclosure.  Also curious is the 847 area code, which is a Chicago suburb.....within driving distance for me.  So Claire's seems to have some sort of headquarters in Chicago, at least for their accessory line, so if anyone SPARC members in the Chicago area want to have a meeting, I'd be willing to have a sit down with these people.  

Claire's Accessories
2400 W Central Rd
Hoffman Estates, IL 60195
(847) 765-1100

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Hello!
Thank-you for your e-mail inquiry.  Please forward your mailing address
(and full name) so that we can appropriately respond to you.

Thank-you,
Katie Michaels
Director of Consumer Affairs
Claire's Stores, Inc.


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The information in this e-mail may be confidential or privileged.  It is
intended only for the addressee and access to this e-mail by anyone else is unauthorized.  If you are not the intended recipient of the information in this e-mail, then you are prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing or using the contents of this message.  All personal messages express views solely of the sender, which are not to be attributed to Claire's Stores, Inc., or any of its affiliates or subsidiaries, and may not be copied or distributed without this disclaimer.  If you received this message in error, please notify us immediately at [email protected] or (847)765-1100.  

It's the same old story I've seen many times here. I have a beautiful, 6 y.o. SD. SD lives in NY, we're in IL. We see her two weekends a month plus extended time at the holidays, she flies in.

SD is a sensitive and emotional child. She is very bonded with us. It's my belief that the child is emotionally and at times, physically abused by her mom but it's so hard to prove.

The BM is emotionally checked out on this child. The child is left in the care of maternal grandparents, who they live with. Of course, whenever we take BM to court, she's mother of the year.

The child does not want to go home at the end of visitation. She hates her school, last week she faked being sick for four days. She says she's bored and lonely at home.

To challenge custody would bankrupt us. We're in the hole every month just paying child support and property settlement from the divorce. I know challenging custody would entail psych eval's, witnesses and a long court experience. BM would fight us tooth and nail, she doesn't want to lose her commission check.

It's just devastating to listen to her and worse to have to send her back. How do you get through this? What would you do? What have some of you done?

You're going to love this one and I want everyone to never believe what anyone tells you, always ask to see the proof and follow up on every last detail, using every last breath that you have.

Case in point, in October, the Great State of Michigan grabbed our federal income tax refund for an arrearage.  Problem was, there was no arrearage, it had been paid in full 3 months earlier but of course, they never report the good news to the government.  They weren't current with their records for arrearage balances.

So I expected our child support coupons in November or December to show a decreased amount for the overpayment because of the income tax refund taken.  Nothing showed.  So I wrote them a letter saying WTF????

We got a form letter from the Great State Of Michigan:

December 10, 2003

Dear Sir or Madam,

Our office has received Federal Tax money from the IRS (YEAH...ALMOST THREE MONTHS AGO!).  Our records indicated your acount has support arrearages (REALLY ZERO NOW), service ($21) and processing fees ($43) that remain due.

With your permission (WHY DO YOU NEED MY PERMISSION????  YOU ALREADY SUCKED MY $1200 TAX REFUND!!!), we would like to pay off these debts and return the portion, if any, to you (REFUND ME $1146???).  Please respond by signing the bottom of the form and returning this letter to us by January 2, 2004.

Sincerely,

Oakland County Friend of the Court

THE FOLLOWING HAD TO BE SIGNED Permission:  I authorize Oakland County Friend of the Court to apply my tax money to the above identified account for any and all arrearages, service and processing fees due.

______________________


WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED if I hadn't written that letter asking them why they hadn't paid out that money?  And what would have happened if I didn't respond by Jan 2nd?  Would the money just evaporate???

Never mind the huge problem this caused with our estimated tax payments for the year 2003.  This was NOT fun money for the refund.  We're self employed and it was to be applied towards the payment of our 2003 taxes.  So now I'm incurring huge underpayment and late penalties for being $1200 underpaid.

I think most normal people would assume that this would have been paid and not followed up on anything.  Don't assume nothin' because all it does is make an ASS out of U and ME.

Hello All,

We're in the midst of challenging custody/move away.  Long story.

ANYWAY

Can anyone please give me some issues to incorporate into our motion to change custody from sole legal (BM of course) to joint legal?  We're not challenging physical custody....at this time....just trying to legally re-establish our parental rights.  Taking baby steps.

Typical story seen on this board a million time, PBFH BM at divorce settlement falsely accuses DH of domestic violence (no proof, no incidents during the 3 year separation).  BM claims she needs sole legal custody because she fears for her life and she cannot co-parent with BF because they never agree on anything in regards to the child (funny, this was never a problem when they were married).  Of course, there was restricted access to child during separation by BM.

There are no major notables with child in regards to school or health.  It's difficult to come up with points for the motion that don't also address physical custody.

Would be eternally grateful for any ideas or thoughts.

THANKS!