Messages

>1.   Can I get a protective order? if so what good do they do?

If your ex is misappropriating your identity to access your online accounts, then change your passwords and id where you can, and if it's your credit report, call the credit reporting agency and alert them of the intrusions. About the other stuff, that's between the person your ex is contacting and your ex. You're being unreasonably paranoid, and frankly, it's starting to get annoying.

>2.   I'm the CP can I get supervised visitation for her until
>the courts can rule on her mental state?

Probably not, based on the facts you're alleging.

>3.   I've feared her attempting to file for custody but these
>are the exact reason why she should not be granted custody. Do
>you agree being I've had my child for 10 yrs now.

The fact that you are afraid of her trying to file for custody, after 10 years, suggests to me that you should consider seeking professional help, yourself. I'll just keep saying it: you're being unreasonably paranoid and you need to stop.

>4.             how would a judge view the stunts she's
>pulling?

Probably would wonder why you're bringing it up, except for the internet intrusions, and I'm wondering how your ex is accomplishing this without access to your userids and passwords.

>1) I really dont have the money to get an Attoney and wanted
>to file a case by my self using my state's legal help for
>family law. Since I am not asking for custody do you think I
>have a good chance of getting a parenting plan in place and a
>modification of the Child Support? My state is Oregon.

You must file to establish custody and parenting simultaneously. I think your chances are good to get very limited visitation, without an attorney.

>2) Should I just go for parenting time first and then once I
>get that go for modification of Child Support Amount?

You should always file for both parenting time/custody and child support simultaneously.

>3) How do I get the State to take into account how much she is
>making?  I don't know myself but I am thinking maybe there is
>a form I can fill out to so that the state an initiate some
>form of fact finding mission.

The state doesn't have to take anything into account. You must file a motion to modify in court against the other party and notify the state that the action is pending. Then you can subpoena the other parent's bank records and paystubs and such and try to prove that she's earning income.

The family court will only help you with support issues. For custody/parenting, you need a lawyer.

>You can sue for defamation, abuse of legal process, and
>intentional infliction of emotional distress. But, if the
>other parent has no money, then you won't collect anything.
>And, you'll have to pay your own attorney fees.
>
>
>It's really about the principle of the matter.  I'm tired of
>the constant harrassment.

OK, well I find money more satisfying than principle, but it's your money.

>
>>3. Am I entitled to a copy of the latest letter to keep in
>my
>>personal file?
>
>Let me clarify.  The letter is from CSE, I want the letter
>that the cp sent.  All 20-30 pages of it.

If you sue the other parent for defamation, then you could subpoena the letter as part of your case.

>Depends on what the allegations are. If they are based on your
>not following the current orders, then no. If they allege that
>you have done something criminal, then maybe
>
>Cp has also alleged that I am hiding money from the IRS.

Ah, well that definitely would be libelous if it's a false statement.

Does the other parent have any valuable money (like rea property or stocks/bonds) that you could execute against? If so, then sue her. If not, you will end up with a legal bill and a worthless judgment on which you will never collect. And, the other parent won't care. She'll just keep hating your guts and laughing at you for being unable to stop her.

>1. If I get my visitation re-enforced, how long before I can
>petition to have child support modified?

Immediately.

>2. Would I need to show proof of how often I have my daughter
>with me?

You should be attempting to have the court eliminate ambiguity and set an absolute parenting schedule, so that the court knows the basis for the support calculation.

>As for witnesses at trial are the teachers considered good
>witnesses?  Since they see the child everyday, interact
>emotionally and educationally?  Unfortunately she is out of
>state, but wonder if she could be a witness via telephone?

A witness in a final hearing via telephone violates due process, because of the difficulty in ensuring that the person is who he/she says they are and is testifying voluntarily.. That it occurred in Anna Nicole's case was a TV stunt by a judge who was playing for the cameras in my opinion.

You're not gonna get that to happen. So, you will either have to pay the witness to testify, or depose him/her in the other state, and bring the transcript to court with you.

Of course if the other parent were to consent to a telephone appearance, then the judge would probably allow it. But, based on your posted facts, agreement between parties ain't likely.

>1. Is requesting a right of first refusal clause something
>that can easily be done pro se?

No, and it's near impossible to enforce, unless the parents are already extremely cooperative. Don't waste your time.

>2. Since I'm assuming a judge would agree being with the other
>parent is better than a babysitter do I have to show a pattern
>of her leaving kids with babysitters?    

Nope. You need to show the judge that the two of you can cooperate -- and that doesn't seem likely.

>I look at it like, if she doesn't leave them with babysitters
>a lot then, great put the clause in and we'll never need it.
>So there doesn't seem to be much argument against not adding
>it.

Judges do not enjoy seeing parents coming back to court over and over. You're making a mistake. Don't start a new battle on the heels of a prior battle.

>1.  Is it a reasonable consequence that if another parent
>testifies against me in a custody matter, such parent would
>not be welcomed at a private event I'm hosting (with
>unfortunate consequence to the children, due to the poor
>judgment of the adults)?

You shouldn't have brought it up to the other parent, but having done so, you've created a point of contention. I suggest you either invite the kids to your party, or not, but whatever you decide, stop talking about it. Just move on with life and let the child's mother decide whatever she wants to do, if anything, about it.

>2.  If I'm telling biomom, "Have a party for those two girls
>plus our child, since all of you and their parents are so
>tight-knit" to avoid explaining to daughter the real issues
>going on, does that seem child-centered enough that I'm trying
>to do the right thing, given the reality of alliances that
>those parents have made known?

I think you would blow the other parents' mind, that you are capable of ignoring their hostility towards you in favor of your child and theirs. Regardless, do what feels right and then just let the cards fall where they may.

>
>3.  I see that if I DON'T invite those girls (and their
>parents), it can be twisted against me.  If I DO invite those
>girls, any information gained might be distorted and used
>against me (to become a battle of affadavits of attendees).
>Which is the lesser of badness?

You're looking for a moral judgment, and you know I don't do that. If it were me, I'd just invite the kids. The parents will probably refuse, and then they will look bad -- not you.

>The exact text reads
>
>The Husband shall pick up "name of child" each weekday after
>school including early dismissal and return to paternal
>grandmother at 6:00 pm the same day.
>
>However once my son and his mother moved I was not picking him
>up everyday-so when we went back to court recently she made a
>proposal that the order read Pick up every other weekend-with
>drop off of 6:00--however this has not been  signed off on by
>any judge yet-it is a proposed order--the signature on bottom
>of page is blank where judge should sign- there for this
>should not be active-first order should over-ride that . I
>only was picking him up this one day because it was his B-day
>so I took off work early,and she knew that.
>
>They were confused between the 2 orders and went with being
>safe and listened to her- She knew this order was not in
>effect yet.

Seems like you have a case against the other parent for "uttering," which is the act of purporting a document to be something other than it actually is, and acase against the government for a civil rights violation.

However, if the judge signs that order, then your case will be moot. So, the issue becomes, how likely is it that the judge will sign this order? Are you just positioning yourself to try to thread a temporary needle, or is there no reasonable likelihood that the judge will enter this proposed order? Is the order before the judge right now, and he/she just hasn't signed it but intends to do so? Are there other reasons why you would likely be denied your current custody rights in favor of a more restrictive order?

I can't answer these questions, but you can.

>All proceedings in Florida, however CP in Georgia, NCP (me)
>in Florida.
>
>We have been now been in court proceedings for almost a year
>now.  We are getting ready to go into depositions and
>mediation soon.
>
>I filed for modification of custody due to mother's contempt
>of visitations, for which I received makeup visitation for.
>Child is in Kindergarten and not doing well, missing school,
>sick, tardy.  Lots of other things going on but too detailed
>to even mention.  
>
>My question is:
>
>What are depositions for if the parenting evaluation is
>already completed?

Apparently, one or both attorneys find the evaluation less than dispositive on the major issues. Otherwise there would be little need for further evidence to narrow the scope of issues in the case.

>Also, if there are blatant untruths that are quoted by the
>evaluator based on information from the other party, can a
>motion be set forth to strike the evaluation, provided that
>evidence is given at the hearing of that motion if indeed that
>can be done?

Yes, but unless both parties agree to limit or eliminate the report, the judge is likely to allow the report subject to cross examination of the evaluator on specific issues at trial.

>
>If the evaluation is striken due to inconsistencies of
>testimony (that isn't the right word), would a new one be
>ordered?  And would the evidence in the first evaluation be
>given to the 2nd evaluator?

A new report would be likely, and not likely based on any prior info.

>
>As for change in custody modifications, I understand it takes
>a lot for judges to change custody, but in your opinion have
>you ever found that judges get lost in too much detail and
>take the easy ways out?

lol. You're kidding, right? Haven't you been watching this farce with Anna Nicole Smith?

>Out attorney suggested that we have so much evidence on the
>other party, that the judge wasn't smart enough to navigate
>through the muck.  That just doesn't seem right.  Almost as if
>he (the attorney) is giving up.

The hazard of alleging that the other parent is unfit, vis-a-vis ignoring the other parent's bad traits in favor of emphasizing your good points, is that all of the court professionals (judge, evaluators, etc.) may view you as hostile, simply because you are finding fault with the other parent, and thus you are found the less fit parent.

I usually recommend that you don't denigrate the other parent at all, and merely emphasize your strong points. That way the other parent appears hostile and vindictive, while you appear as only interested in the child's interests, regardless of whether or not it hurts or help your case.

The judge then thinks that because you are willing to lose your case to favor the child, that the other parent is mentally ill for saying anything bad about you, and suddenly you have the edge.

I suggest that you completely change your trial plan, because what you are doing is not working.

>Question: What can I do? Will they just give her a slap on the
>wrist for this behavior if I take her to court?

Law enforcement does not enforce a civil court order unless it is absolutely unambiguous on its face. So, if the school and the police would not permit you to pick up the child, and your order clearly permits you to do so, then I must assume that you are misinterpreting your rights under the order, because the althernative is that the police and the school have violated your civil rights -- which would entitle you to sue them in Federal Court.

If you want me to provide accurate advice, you will need start by posting the EXACT text of your court orders.

I'm never very impressed by NJ's legal system, but something seems a little unusual with your circumstances.