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Topics - superdad01

#1
Father's Issues / So child is 15 now...
May 01, 2017, 07:18:01 PM
Our child is 15 now, and is getting kinda sketchy on the weekend parenting time. sometimes it comes with a lame excuse and other times just says I don't wanna come. we have had a few occasions where school functions interrupted my scheduled parenting time.

Mom is saying its her choice to come and child believes that it is in fact her choice.  Ive been trying to avoid going to court, but I feel I'm going to have to start filing complaints etc.

My feeling is mom is encouraging the missed parenting time to try and go back to court to change our custody labels. I do in fact have joint physical custody. so I'm kind of wondering if child is missing  court ordered parenting time for whatever reason would be court be willing to go back in and say, your going to lose your joint custody.,
#2
Father's Issues / child and step mom stress.
Dec 26, 2015, 05:20:53 PM
Just looking for ideas here. Sorry for the rant but I just dont know how to really deal with this. Long story short.

Daughter usually came to us in a bad mood etc. Well my girlfriend for a long time always tried to get her excited about new things etc well it usually backfired. I worked alot so I guess I depended on her a little to much. Now the GF and I have a child as well.

Recently we had a situation come up regarding my oldest child and cps was involved. Everything was dropped due to no evidence, but my GF took it as a attack on her fitness as parent when the whole thing never involved her. She believes it was my child's goal to get her child taken away from her.  to get me put in jail etc. So needless to say GF does not really want to be around my oldest child. Which creates conflict in our relationship.  I understand its not always easy, but I simply told her to just be nice to her. I mean how hard is it to just attempt to be nice to someone.  Especially a 13 year old.

Well now child and I are in counseling. we are trying to work through it. I am seeing a improvement in attitude and little things like that. My GF seems to think it's all an act. obviously I just cant walk away from my child and now I have another child so now I am stuck in the middle. I'm never gonna win. I understand that. but somehow We gotta find some sort of balance.

GF Had made my daughter enemy number 1 and told me tonight that she does not like her.... I'm just floored. Especially since we've had a couple good days in a row and any sort of happy life seems to be simply wasting away. GF seems to think she deserves an award for being fake nice to the kid.

We have been together 9 years and never really had a fight until the last year of this all. Now its all we do. Especially when we have my other child or were about to.

I told her we need counciling but she seems to think she dont.

Has anyone been through anything similar.
#3
Father's Issues / cell phone Topic in counciling
Nov 27, 2015, 05:51:13 PM
This cell phone by is still being brought up as a big deal. Which I tried explaining that the child is not denied use of her cell phone when she wants to call someone or someone is calling her. We simply stated we are not going to allow her to disappear into the phone for hours at a time. NO secret messages and all that crap to mom.

Mom has stated that she wants to be able to contact child once daily. Which I dont really care but at the same time still does not allow the child to break away and enjoy our side of the family. I mean if mom has child 5 consecutive days through the week and I have her sat and sunday does she really need to call on the other 2 days that I have her? I mean I go 5 and 6 days at a time and sometimes more without hearing from the child, nor having her return my phone calls or texts.

One of the things the councilor tried discussing was allowing child more freedom with the cell phone. I said I was open to the idea but find it funny that the cellphone is so important, yet whenever I call or text child they never answer. I always get a lame excuse of phone being dead etc. this clearly makes me think child is avoiding me. Councilor tried explain to child that dad needs to be a priority and  this will work in her benefit to getting more freedom with her phone.

Meanwhile since this meeting we are going into day 6 without contact nor returning of any calls or texts. I even texted mom to have her call me yet no response either.

I think both are mad that the CPS report came back as dismissed for no evidence.
#4
First thing still trying to recover since this whole thing popped up completely out of left field.

So CPS have been doing their investigation. Were stuck going to moms licensed social worker of choice for now. She was not receptive to a more certified therapist that I suggested. Anyways were going back and forth on how were gonna do visitation. the therapist suggested phone convo instead of visit. I countered with child staying at a mutual friends of ours so I could visit. Child was not interested in doing that. so we decided on phone contact.  Of course I got minimal contact consisting of a few text messages. Then zero contact for the next 5 days.

The following weekend. Child informed me she did not want to come. I told her I would be coming up. I brought a mutual friend to act as a witness and child would not leave the bathroom. I was trying to avoid calling police and making a bigger scene. Mom says she cannot make child go. I inform her it is her job to follow the court order. Child is only 13.  Child seems to think she has the choice in going or staying. Apparently mom is ok with child telling her what she will and will not do.  So we ended up talking child into going to dinner and just hanging out for a few hours. Had a good time and I thought we made some positive movement.  for a couple texts and a phone call on tuesday of the following week.  Contact was once again cut off. No return calls or texts.

So I get a call from therapist today and they mention child is ok coming down to visit if she stays with our mutual friends which is fine with me. Yet I have not gotten a call from the child in 5 days. So I dunno how to read this.

Cps will be finishing up there report this week and therapist wants to meet before that. wants to discuss concerns the child has etc. I gave the therapist an outline of the behavior that we deal with. It included the mom influenced alienating behaviors as well.

I still want to know I am being cleared of any abuse. nothing I have ever done would be labeled as abuse.  I plan on telling her I did not just tell you random things about mom is. i can prove most everything I claim. 


It seems the only one communicatin childs thoughts are mom. She always manages to throw in a negative comment along with it.
#5
So child is in counseling. Mom decided she dident like the first counselor.  so she is changing to another counselor. I plan on being in on this next session.

I have joint legal and physical custody of child. Do I have any say in picking the therapist. ( I have a feeling mom will be seaching for a therapist that will agree with her specifically.

I have been told to search out a LMFT therapist... (Licensed marriage and family therapist

I think the one she picked to go see is a licenced clinical social worker

Mom will not want to hear I have just as much power as her.
#6
The Latest update. I had a visit with CPS today. They told me She didn't see it going anywhere. but wont know anything until final report. Case is being transferred as child lives in different county.

So child is in counseling and mom told me that the therapist said that I should have my parenting time temp suspended until the child is ready and until the therapist is ready to include me in the therapy sessions.  Which I guess I can understand that.... So I made contact with the therapist today. I wanted a timeline as to when they thought I could be included.  Apparently the therapist never suggested that my parenting time be suspended.  She also told me that mom decided she did not like her as a therapist and decided to get a different therapist. so this therapist is no longer working with my child. My theory is the therapist noticed the brainwashing mom has done or the therapist disagreed with mom's diagnosis.  Her appointment for this week is cancelled and she has a new appointment at the end of the month. so In the meantime what do I do with all my parenting time days?

So I clearly caught mom in a lie.
I have the message on my voicemail.  I Initially told her I would agree to suspend parenting time but now I don't know what to do. I told her anything we did would have to be in writing.  obviously, I don't want to have the kid kicking and screaming to go spend time with me. I'm also very conscious of our court order and I just don't want to not show up for parenting time when i'm supposed to have it.

I think possible we need to both agree on a therapist who is unbiased.
#7
Father's Issues / So child is in counciling
Oct 06, 2015, 05:42:05 PM
Recently placed the child in counseling. Schools recommended it due to what they think is depression. Very well could have some depression in there. Mom finally agreed that something is going on, however she will won't realize that she is a major contributor to what's going on.

I'm assuming I will be chatting with them as well. How do I address the topic of parental alienation. Or is this therapist gonna treat me like one of them crazy dads... haha

Questions to ask therapists?

I'm also paranoid about falling to into traps that will somehow come back and bite me say we end up back in court over custody again.
#8
Father's Issues / changing profile name
Aug 15, 2015, 08:54:01 PM
can we change our profile name on here? Ive tried cant seem to figure out how to do it.
#9
Father's Issues / what would you do?
Mar 05, 2015, 02:34:48 AM

So can I ask you a quick question. Wondering how to go about this situation. Daughter is soon to be 13. Raised by a narcissistic. This child no calls no shows her baby sister birthday. No calls on my birthday in fact don't show much interest in anyone seen birthday on our side of family. Now it's her birthday. Really torn on what to do. Do we throw her a party? I feel like we're rewarding bad behavior. Or do we give her what we get from her. I got a feeling she won't understand the concept were laying out. We always throw her a party but No clue what to do.
#10
I do understand as kids get older they have more things going on, however it seems like mother has signed child up for nearly everything she can. First thing we share custody joint and legal with mother having primary as she decided to move nearly 90 miles away during the court battle. We came to agreement most likely because of my total lack of faith in the court system, ( but that's another story in itself.)

So I have nearly every weekend with child during the school year. Well the child is now in band and choir and they have all these events scheduled during the weekend. The only problem is I live 90 miles away. Mother is unwilling to switch weekend with me so that leaves me at difficult decisions. Do I just lose out on another weekend with the child? I could always have the Child's stepmother or another family member take child to the event, but that however is not really the point.  I most likely be working so I would not be able to take the child to event anyways. But I would still have the rest of the day to do something with the child. The mother is controlling how and when I spend time with child.

Really don't know how to deal with this.
#11
Father's Issues / How much is to much?
Dec 21, 2014, 07:15:25 PM
ok, just trying to get some opinions on this.

We have a shared custody order, yet we live nearly 100 miles apart. I get child on weekends and 1/2 summer. we also split transportation.

Child is 12 and  was recently accepted into a program that will help with college expenses. This program is located down by the mother and I guess they are required to do things on weekends etc. so basically i'm going to pick child up on friday driving 180 miles round trip, and then have to drive another 180 miles on saturday so child can attend the event with this program. If i factor in my drive time for work etc, I'm looking at 10hrs of drive time in 2 days.  I mean I support my child succeeding but at the same time how much is to much. I'm hoping I am not sounding like a jerk but it seems a bit much to me. Not to mention this was done without even asking my opinion on it and it does directly interfere with my time with child. I also work a lot of weekends to this directly affects my ability to spend time with child and will force me to use others to transport this child to these events. I also know for a fact that if I signed child up for something, I can't see her mom making a trip down here to make sure she attends. Just don't know how to feel about this one.
#12
Stressed. Not really sure on how to handle this.

first thing is Mom is acting completely innocent and even though she is throwing gas on the fire she somehow acts like she is doing nothing to fan the flames. Blames the detoriation of the relationship completely on me and my parenting. I guess those little things called rules just wreak havoc on these poor children.

quick run down. I have shared custody but due to mom moving far away I get 3 weekends a month during school and 1/2 the summer.

So the last 3 weeks something on their end has popped up on the friday of my weekend which makes the drive to go get her nearly impossible. So we switched things around because I lost a day here and will make one up later and made it happen. Now I get my first notice today of a school activity tomorow night  which ends late and once again this friday pickup almost impossible. Since I am working all weekend I would be driving a total of 3hrs to pick the kid up to spend a grand total of maybe 7 or 8 hours together.

Its really a no win situation. if I say no i'm picking you up at reg time then I am psycho dad who ruined her life. and if I can't go get the kid then I am loser dad who can't make time for his kid.

How would you all handle this.
#13
I'm wondering how to  deal with this guys. How to you guys address to your kids that this world is not full of bubble gum and smiley faces?

I am having a really hard time putting my words together to describe this. But we all know how this world treats those that are not up to society's standards. I don't want my child be one that people look down upon, for looks or whatever percieved negative issues are big at the time.

Like I said in previous topics, our child is overweight and really has no interest in getting herself into a better position. She is shy and has not really gotten into anything besides watching movies etc. I feel bad because some of the friends she does have is children from friends of mine and they are running all over the place and my child has a hard time keeping up. I feel like it's the gigantic elephant in the room and nobody can say anything about it. We had a big party and numerous kids are out running around and she is content sitting on the couch. When I tell her to get out there and play she says I can't keep up with them. Breaks my heart because I always tell this kid she can do whatever she wants in life if she tries.

Perhaps I have made mistakes in my attempts to help the child but I just don't know how to make this work for the child's benefit. Especially when it seems I am the only party interested in doing something about it.

One conversation we had regarding getting in better shape and I make it a point to make her realize how people are going to treat her differently based on her appearance etc. The child does not easily pick up on sarcasm and her take on it was so fat people don't get jobs etc. No that's not what I'm saying. Im saying not everyone is going to be nice to you and treat you special.

I just want to get this child in a better place to be ready for this world.
#14
I have a issue that is bigger then the thread title can describe. First off, after everything I have seen I can honestly say I don't have a ton of faith in this family court system to deliver what is truly in the best interests of the child.

It seems after years of fighting things have somewhat settled down. But I do not feel our child is in the best environment to thrive. Over the years There has been an obvious ongoing alienation in which the child worships the ground the mother walks on. I often feel like my name is Dad. No special meaning. My name is dad. I realize that if we were to go back to court and the court asked child their preference she would answer mom before they even finished the question.

My household has rules and apparently the mothers does not.

Mother allows a 11 year old child to stay home alone for hours at a time. (No state law on age requirement in MI)
Child is nearing 200lbs and is not interested in being active nor is a healthy lifestyle being promoted to her.
Mom seems to live in a state of denial where a diet of big macs, pizza, and chinese food is approved by her nutritionist friends.

Mother is not promoting a healthy body image for child. Often allows her to dress in ways that are simply just not flattering to the child. Child often does not even look like their hair is combed. Child wants nothing to do with sports gym class.

Mother has a personality in which she feels she knows everything and it is impossible to argue any sense of facts to support your argument because she is automatically right.

Child has a history of poor school attendance. ( I once attempted to admit report cards into evidence, but was denied due to the fact that I could apparently produce my own phony report cards from the school.... LOL  Yeah really...)

Now I know I can't walk into court and say the child is living on the street, or homeless, but at the same time I really feel like her best interests are not being addressed. I feel like I am watching a slow motion car crash and I am the only one screaming for something to happen.

I feel like we all recall those kids that were similar to what I described and I really don't want our child to be that kid in school. These kids are horrible nowdays.

Just feeling pretty lost, in fact it's kinda hard to even put it into words.

No idea if I might have enough to warrant a custody change or not.
#15
So my 11 year old child has a cell phone provided by her mom that is being used as essentially an umbilical  cord to her mother. Now I don't have an issue with child talking to her mom, however it seems that checking for moms call becomes the focus of the day. The phone is all the child concentrates on. She had a previous phone that broke one day. Somehow I was blamed for it. Just tired of dealing with it.


Mom allows child to basically do nothing all day. Sit in the house all day and watch tv and play on her phone. We do not allow this at our house. Child is outside doing things and we don't let her carry the phone with her. The phone remains in the house on the counter. If you want to call someone use it. If someone calls you. Answer it. In fact, once the child forgets about the phone it is not an issue.


Mom recently lectured me on allowing child to have the phone. saying I am supposed to allow child access to her etc. The last time it was 3 or 4 phone calls in one day.  All it does is interrupt the child's day with me. It also makes her focus on mom when she is with me.  child thinks that moms rules should apply in our household.


Mom also thinks me not letting her carry her phone around denies her right to contact her whenever she wants. I said if she don't answer leave a message and she will call you back.


The child also has a password on her phone that I am not supposed to know. I think I have a right to know it. it's a smart phone that has internet access and well you know somebody needs to keep an eye on what's going on.
I'm sure some of you have dealt with a issue like this.

#16
General Issues / Question about paying for braces
Apr 21, 2013, 06:39:42 PM
So our daughter needs braces. As per court order we share all uninsured expenses at 50/50. Now mother has talked daughter into wanting the super expensive braces. The ones that you can't tell their even on. The ones that are also prone to being lost and accidentally thrown away. Insurance will only pay once and knowing our daughter she will misplace these. I am trying to take the common sense approach and find a cheaper alternative as in old school braces.

So the question is: If mom decides to get the expensive braces and I am obviously against it... What is the outcome?  We have joint physical and legal but at the end of the day she is going to do what she wants to do.

As an example, If it is ordered that I have to buy the child her first car and mom says she gets a porsche then is that what I got to deal with?
#17
I got it ordered that ex and i share uninsured medical expenses at 50/50.  Question being if and when i recieve a bill how do i know her indurance was used at all?
#18
Father's Issues / unmarried and about to pop
Jan 07, 2013, 06:10:28 AM
Hey guys. Just had a quick question. My girlfriend of 6 years are expecting. We are still happily together. She lost her job andbis on medicaid etc. She has made it known to them that i support them. What expenses will  will i be responsible. The birth? Were in Michigan
#19
Custody Issues / Excessive absences and tardies
Feb 12, 2012, 07:05:11 PM
Just had a question regarding an ongoing issue with the child. The child has had excessive absences and tardies in school. Actually this has been an ongoing issue. Currently this school year the child has missed 9 days of school and been tardy 17 times. The child is struggling in some subjects in school.


I don't know if this would be enough to slide the full custody factor my way. We currently have joint legal and physical custody, but she is the primary. I can certainly say that I would provide a better environment for the child to succeed.


I just don't know what to do. If I hire attorney etc, just to go back to court, just to have the judge say, well we will give her a chance to improve the situation or whatnot, it's a waste of my time and energy. I plan on addressing this issue with mother, however I don't believe it will end good.


I am hoping the school will inform the courts of the attendance issue, as I received a letter once from her former school for excessive absences. Then the absences were miraculously excused due to doctor excuses.


Just looking for some suggestions.
#20
General Issues / Blamed for Head lice
Dec 31, 2011, 02:14:57 PM
The child contracted head lice from an unknown source and the child is having a difficult time getting rid of it. The mother's only interest seems to be blaming me and my household. Mother always claims child had no eggs in hair until the child comes back from time spent with me. We have cleaned our house numerous times and done everything possible to clean the household. We have contacted the cdc and cleaned to every specific guideline we can find.


It's also interesting to note that, no other children that have visited over here, nor households where our child has visited has any traces of lice.



I have joint physical/legal custody of child. Could any of this possible threaten my legal standing with the court.
#21
Long time since my last visit. Settled my case with joint physical and legal Custody being negotiated.  Everything has been going great.  Moms bf and I get along. He had went out of his way to be nice and friendly. Seems to care about the child , and is involved.

Now my child tells me this weekend that he had spanked her a while ago with the belt. I do not know the circumstances of what happened, however I know I do not like the fact that this happened. It was never brought to my attention. I do not want to overreact but most importantly I do not want to underreact.  I do not feel it is his place to spank my child. I do not even spank my child. If mom does it its one thing if mom does it, but not the bf.  There are better ways to punish a child. It would be one thing if it was a little man to man thing, but not man to little girl.

I just do not know how to approach this situation.  Do I tell the guy do not put your hands on my child. Or I will break your neck.
#22
As some of you might recall with a previous thread of mine, I made mention of the lazy parenting time worker I had to deal with. She never did her her job nor enforced the court order... Well one time she did. Anyways I now have a new parenting time specialist and once again I filed a complaint for being denied my first right of refusal when mom went out of town for an entire week without telling me. I had high hopes but once again I am dissapointed.

So I get a letter from FOC stating he received her response and she replied that she was out of town for the weekend only. and the child was with me on my weekend. Unless I have some extrinsic evidence that mother's statement is incorrect this issue is deemed resolved by this office.

So basically He is just taking her word over mine? I have no idea on the extent of her letter. No idea on if I can get a copy of it or not... I did apply for a copy of all my complaints filed for court use and I have not heard from him on that issue. That was 3 weeks ago. copies are a dollar a page.

I should be infront of this guy pretty soon for a recommendation on parenting time and support. We have another court date in Febuary.

I am very tempted to reply to his office and let him know that, their is no point in filing complaints since he don't care to check into them. Since I do not have the time nor resources to become or hire a full time Private investigator for these issues that is simply a waste of my time to file complaints and such. She has a history of ignoring the order and list of complaints there so I dunno what else I can do.  Mom was not there for the entire week. I know this because she was not there for the entire week of pick-ups and drop-off's.

I already know my mouth will get me into trouble, but I feel like I am reaching the point of no return.  I'm gonna walk into his office in a bad mood. I already seem to think by his reaction to my complaint that I am not going to get the relief I want.
#23
Father's Issues / So mother baited the CS hook
Dec 20, 2009, 09:57:12 AM
I recently had the pleasure of meeting up with my ex so we could go to parent teacher conferences. (she was unaware that I was scheduled at the same time she was.)

so in the uncomfortable silence as we were waiting I decided to say we really need to find a way to work togther. She of course is acting like I am trying to hurt her, and take something away from her.

We had a custody parenting time hearing the week prior.  I have extensive daily parenting time and I would like week on week off to eliminate the daily back and forth. She however would like to eliminate my daily parenting time and just allow me every other weekend.

So as we are talking she says... I don't care if you even pay childsupport.......
Which took me by suprise because this is a women who would not even sign a vacation slip because of the dollar amount. I replied that it was not about childsupport, and said I am just as important as you for our daughter

So now I am thinking... With no idea if I stand a chance at getting what I want to begin with.... What should I do.
Wait for whatever ruling the courts will come with or give her what she wants because i'd probally lose anyway.

I am definetly fighting for our daughter, but we all know how the courts are...
#24
Father's Issues / Went to court today.
Dec 14, 2009, 03:28:21 PM
So I go to court today for hearing at 1:30pm and my attorney just got my ex's response this morning to our petition.

Over half of what we had down she could neither admit nor deny. and leaves me to my proofs

As some of you may know I have an extensive parenting time plan in place with parenting time on a near daily basis. I am trying to upgrade my parenting time into a shared custody week on/week off plan. My goal is to eliminate the daily back and forth as I feel this would be very beneficial to the child.

Her first complaint to this was this would disrupt the child's living environment. Where child sleeps etc. Although she sees her dad daily. She seems to have no thoughts on disrupting that father daughter relationship.

The ex counters this by asking the court to eliminate my daily parenting time and give me just the standard every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. She claims the child never does her homework because she is with me. I did not have the opportunity to address this accusation. Every time I have asked for homework I get the door slammed in my face. She claims that a few months I was working 2nd shift and unavaible for my daily parenting time OUr child did much better in school. Although it was not part of my petition (so I could not address it in court. I have child's report card which shows excessive days she was absent and tardy.

I am trying to get a share of transportation. Simply because ex has a history of not being home at drop-off. and I would like to tie that into the first right of refusal. Simply if she is not avaible to pick up the child at the scheduled time then she is odviously not avaible.

She also wants to eliminate the first right of refusal. (I have numerous complaints against her for refusing to follow it.)

We want to her to cover child on insurance or pay a portion of my expenses for health coverage which are $38/week. She reports the child is on Medicaid..... (she is a registered Nurse)  My intent is for her insurance to cover anything my insurance does not.

We are trying to impute her at a RN wage because that is what she is. I'm pretty sure she has worked in the hospital before and quit that position. She now works part time at a home health care nurse. The judge did remark that their are alot of opportunities for Nurses right now.

So at the end of the day we were sent to the FOC for a recomendation. Which I assumed was going to happen. Not really a let down because I now know how the system works and hopefully it works for me this time around.

Any suggestions on the ex trying to eliminate my daily parenting time would be greatly appreciated.
#25
Some of you may recall my run-in with cps. I posted about it on here. Basically I had my sis and her 2 kids living with me. While kids were playing and dancing around my sister's 6 year old grazed my daughter's private. She told her mom and called cops and cps. Cps did investigate and found that nothing should come of it because it did not rise to a case of abuse or neglect. Action plan in place, and better supervision etc.

Now I found out that there was another instance this year in March (which I was not even informed of) involving her mother's sisters 8 year old child.  Apparently they were playing house and were touching and kissing each other in private places.

Once again Cps said that it did not rise to the level of abuse or neglect and because mom put an action plan in place they were dropping the investigation.

First and formost I am very upset about not being informed of this situation happening.  Number 2. it seems cps made more of an effort comming after me for something no where near as serious as what happened in the other situation.

Also we will be going to court again soon for parenting time and childsupport. I assume that mother would bring up the fact that something happened at my house, and ignoring what happened on her watch... How should I play this situation? Odviously her goal would be to make me look unfit etc.

My sis and her kids have since moved out of state so that is not an issue.
#26
Father's Issues / live in GF question?
Nov 24, 2009, 06:33:05 PM
I will be going to court shortly here to try and upgrade my parenting time to include weekly overnights into shared custody type of situation.

I was reading one of the articles on here regarding "defining substantial change in circumstance" and It alludes me now but I know I read something regarding it being a change in circumatance living with the oposite sex and being unmarried or something of that nature... (if anyone is familiar with it)

My question is I have a live in GF of 3 years.... Would that be a minor or major obstacle in my getting weekly overnights granted to me? I do not know how to fight this argument.

My daughter is very confortable in her presence. They get along great

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
#27
Well I figured out my ex has ignored our first right of refusal AGAIN.....

Only this time she took off for a solid week and maybe longer. I still had all my regular parenting time but just returned my daughter home nightly to her grandparents (where they live.) . I knew something was up, I just did not know the extent of it. My daughter should have remained with me for the week plus that her mother has been unavaible.

This has been an ongoing issue for quite some time. I lacked the time and patience to go down to the FOC daily and file a complaint. I filed one today though.

Now for some good news.
Some of you might recall me complaining about the incompetent  parenting time lady that I had to deal with... Well it seems she took another position and I have a new parenting time specialist. He is a guy... I have no idea if that will play more into my favor or not, but anyone is better then her.
#28
Father's Issues / Is it possible... How do I?
Oct 19, 2009, 06:36:46 PM
1. How do I enforce first right of refusal?  For quite a while now mom is not home when I drop child off. They live with the grand parents... I have first right of refusal however is has always proven to blow up in my face when I have tried to enforce it. I will always encounter some sort of crazy accusation after it's all said and done. Why file and complaint, when the foc says.... "well If it happens again"  I have just gotten tired of all the bs and I don't even write it down anymore... I know I should but what's the point.  If I return home with the child, I will just have to bring her back to her moms when she does get home. Mom will refuse to come get her and threaten to file kidnapping charges again... lol   <------ I have to laugh because I am long past frustrated.

2. Mom is planning on moving next year sometime. Can I or how should I ask the court to keep child in her same school district? Due to the fact that I have daily parenting time and any move of any significant distance would distrupt that and not be beneficial to the child.

3. Since mom is moving by her own choice, will she be ordered to do any of the transportation, since she moved... Is it likely to go in my favor for a split in the transportation.

4. Since mom has never revealed her place of work and work schedule, can I get it ordered or how would I so that I get a copy of her work schedule so I know when she is not avaible to be with the child
#29
My daughter informed me today that her and her mother are moving before next year. I know they is a 100 mile rule and since I have Secondary physical custody with an extensive visituation schedule if I would have any rights in keeping child in the same school district etc. in case she decided to move out of town....  I have no idea on where they would be moving but the less questions I ask the better

Anything wording wise I could place in an order preventing a move or anything that would be  to where we would have to agree on the stipulations?

Since she is the one moving will that be a deciding factor in her doing a share of the transportation costs?

I have been waiting to file for a modification since I am back to 1st shift and making less money now. so I would like to knock out as much as possible in this petition
#30
General Issues / Mom tellin daughter lies... Help
Aug 12, 2009, 03:55:09 PM
OK no idea on how to really deal with this situation here. Any suggestions on what action I should take would be greatly appreciated.

Today My daughter who is age 7 asks me... Dad do you remember when I was a little kid and your were picking me up and my door was not all the way closed and you tried to hit my mom with your car.

So of course I tried to explain to her that that never happened. Her response was to say it did happen because her mom told her so. and that't the truth.

So I grab a video camera and have her basically tell me the whole thing again.
I ask her if she has ever seen daddy be mean to anyone?.... NO
I ask her if she has ever seen daddy try to hit someone with his car.... NO
Has your daddy ever hit or hurt you.... NO
So why do you think daddy would do something like that? Maybe you was mad at my mom
I tell her again that that never happened and sometimes when someone is mad an someone they say things that they don't mean... etc.

Now just for the record... we did have a situation like this occur... Not to the extent that the mother described... But basically during some words, she wanted to deny me my visitation after the child was all ready buckled in the car. The windows were down and her door was open. I locked the door and started backing up, then hit the brakes to make the door shut. Mother then came around the the drivers door to try and crawl through the window or something. I told her I was leaving etc. She jumped off... End of story.

Police were called.... I talked to the officer... explained what happened. They told me I did nothing wrong etc and nothing became of it.

I realise that I am on the wrong end of a smear campaign and I intend on talking to her mom about this... which is like talking to a brick wall....

Anyways any suggestions