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hello

we filed our custody papers in Florida and we are in PA

this web site simplifies things for you as all of the papers that you need are online.

filing fees were 87.50 but that was over 2 years ago i am sure that they went up a little.

if you are both on the birth certificate that should provide you with a presumption of paternity and she would have to file the appropriate papers to challenge this.

http://www.flcourts.org/

go to self help and then take a look at all the stuff.

i can give you a hand preparing the initial filings if you are serious and ready to proceed

follow the other poster advice on attempting to schedule visitation.

my only other addition would be to send an intent to excercise visitation letter by certified (return reciept mail)

another suggestion would be to prepare a parenting plan in writing with your expectations and also a figure for child support based on the guidelines for child support for Florida.

you may email me personally if you so desire.  

you are fortunate to live in a state that offers such resources to non custodial parents and individual services in each county this is one of the only states that i have run across that does offer such detailed websites.  

read and educate yourself about the system and I will help in any way i can to get you on the road to seeing your child.

rini

[email protected]

hi

no matter what get into the courthouse and see what it would take to have the custody temporarily granted to you.

she is in willful disobediance of a court order and i dont think i would send the kid back ....

rini

dear sweetnsad

i have been dealing with a similar situation for years and i have opted to take the less traveled road and allow visitation with next to no notice.

dad has a job that changes his schedule every week he hardly ever has weekends off and if i would have made him stick to standard visitation he would have probably not had visitation except perhaps once a year on his summer week ..  and that would have been if i would have accepted last minute notification,.

my kids have not had a workable schedule for over 8 years but what they have had is irreplaceable and that is a relationship with their dad because i sacrificed having a schedule written in stone and allowed it for the good of the kids.  whether it will pay off or not in value with the kids educations and what not remains to be seen but for now i have 3 half decent teen agers .....  and when compared to other peoples teenagers sometimes they seem pretty good ...... other timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss   wellllllllllll...........................


if my plans for the kids were not overwhelmingly important (like a family wedding or birthday)  i always let the kids choose when notice was given late and plans had been made..  I always tried to work out so dad could have part of a holiday if he had to work that day even if it was just a few hours to take the kids to his parents..  

i can check in with my maker and know that i have done everything i possibly can to make sure dad was involved even when his job precluded involvement  ( i have even gone so far as to offer suspension of child support so he can find another type of work)  

All we can do is try the rest is up to them..........

rini

In wealthy Kirtland, Ohio, the contested surrogate triplets are called Lane, Easton and Shane Flynn when visiting their biological father, James Flynn, at his $600,000 home.


 
   


  Previous article
Egg donor enters battle for custody of triplets (7/7/04)


   
   

 


In rural Corry, Erie County, they are Matthew, Mark and Micah Bimber when with their surrogate mother, Danielle Bimber, in her $85,000 ranch home.

Yesterday the two families seeking custody of the three boys argued the value of names, affluence and parenting skills. Their disputes since the boys were born Nov. 19 to Bimber under contract with Flynn played out before Erie County Common Pleas Judge Shad Connelly.

Earlier, Connelly named Bimber, 30, the babies' legal mother, though she has no genetic connection to them. He gave her temporary custody. Now Connelly must decide who gets permanent custody. The hearing will continue later this month.

Flynn, 62, wants exclusive custody of the boys. He said he and his fiancee, Eileen Donich, 60, tried several years ago to have a baby of their own, including fertility treatments, and when that was unsuccessful, turned to surrogacy. He provided the sperm, paid a Texas woman for her eggs and gave Bimber $20,000 to carry the resulting embryos.

He said during the hearing he would do anything to get the babies from Bimber. "The person who has them now has no connection at all. We paid her."

The egg donor has filed suit as well in Ohio in an attempt to obtain parental rights to the babies. It remains unclear what would happen if the Ohio court's decision conflicts with Connelly's. Connelly earlier rejected the possibility that the egg donor could serve as a parent because she hadn't sought rights in his court.

Bimber said she wanted the money from the surrogacy contract for her three older children's education and that she intended to turn the babies over to Flynn. But when he visited them only once during the week they were in the hospital and neglected to obtain the legal papers necessary for the hospital to turn them over to him, she took them home.

In an earlier proceeding Connelly granted Flynn and Donich visits with the babies, including four-day spans.

Flynn was ordered to pay child support of $25,000 a year. His lawyer suggested that money was the real motivation for Bimber's request to retain primary physical custody.

Bimber, who acknowledged filing for personal bankruptcy last year, said during a break in the hearing, "As far as money goes, it is money. It is not love." She contended that Flynn and Donich haven't purchased normal baby accessories and returned the children unbathed and with untreated diaper rash. "I don't think these people should have kids," Bimber told reporters.

Flynn and Donich declined comment.

During the hearing, their lawyer, Melissa H. Shirey, accentuated the class differences.

Flynn, who has a doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley in statistics, is a professor and department head at Cleveland State University, earning more than $136,000 a year. Donich, a retired dentist, owns the 6,000-square-foot home where they live. Flynn also maintains an apartment for himself a few minutes from his campus office.

Donich, a widow, said both of her children from the earlier marriage are physicians. "I made them superstars," she told the court. And, later, she said she plans to do the same with the triplets: "They are going to be superstars."

Flynn derided the Corry area as depressed and said its schools would be, as a result, underfunded and underachieving. Kirtland schools, where the boys would go if they lived with him and Donich, are among the best in Ohio.

Neither Bimber has a college degree. She worked as an exercise instructor at a Curves salon, earning $11,000 a year, before she was bedridden during pregnancy with the triplets. Her husband, Douglas, earns about $9,160 a year as an appliance repairman. She has two children from her first marriage and a child with Bimber. So with the triplets, there are eight people living in her 2,200-square-foot ranch.

Still, Bimber told the court she has been able to provide the triplets with car seats, cribs, strollers, bouncers, high chairs, toys, clothes and satisfy their every need. She said she may not have much money, but is willing to spend it on the children. All of the money she got under the surrogacy contract, she said she has spent on the babies.

She questioned the care the babies receive from Flynn and Donich, and they tried to impeach her mothering abilities.

Flynn told the court, "The last year has been the most horrible period of my life ... It is very wrenching because I do not think the children have been taken care of."

He and Donich contended that the children wheeze because of cat hair and dust in Bimber's home.

Also, Donich charged that each of the babies loses a pound every time they are in Bimber's care. Donich said she's able to fatten them up by a pound in the four days she has them.

The allegations were disputed by the Bimbers' family physician, Dr. Kurt Lund. He said the triplets are growing and gaining weight normally. He also said wheezing suffered by the two boys was a result of a virus and not allergies.

Bimber testified at length about how she cares for the babies and the difference in their personalities. She has served as their primary caretaker since they were born. Bimber's lawyer asked, since she has no biological connection to them, what she was to them.

Nose red, and crying, she said, "I am their mom."

The hearing, which was opened to the public because of an appeal by the Erie Times-News, is scheduled to continue with additional testimony from Bimber on July 29.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Barbara White Stack can be reached at [email protected] or 412-263-1878.)

Hi Red five

i have never missed reading a post of yours in all of the years i have been on this site.  

you dont post often but when you do it is usually eye opening and a bulls eye to say the least.

you have an awesome idea.  

i wonder what would happen though ?

we would all probably dissappear into a black hole somewhere

rini

//www.bpdcentral.com  

tons of information

many thanks to the poster........

hello

you are asking for a reason to support why should a genetic linc be a basis for allowing visitation and a relationship?

has paternity been established? has the genetic linc that you keep refering to been written in stone?

Why is a genetic linc important.  

pros

studies show that children with 2 involved caring parents do much better than children raised with one parent and one univolved or apathetic parent.

it is her right to have access to both biological parents

it is her right to know her heritage and extended family

it is her choice to univolve herself later if she so chooses.


cons

I dont like him

I dont like how he speaks to me

I dont think it will be good for her

I dont think that her father is important in her life

I dont think that contact with him will add to the quality of her life.

I dont think that shipping her all over the country will be good for her.

I think he might do this and that and this and that.........

Seeing a pattern here yet.

If your life is all about you then personally I think you should have had a little fore thought and perhaps not involved someone else in your life.

When you have a child It is not all about you any more but instead all about them.  If you prefer not to see the bigger picture and require proof that you are being selfish and narrow minded here i am sure when your daughter gets older she will be more than happy to let you know all about it.


I would much rather be able to tell my children that I tried to do what was best for them rather than lie to them and pretend that doing what is best for me is also what is best for them.

I have not heard you express one valid concern about the quality of care that the father provides only recriminations and concerns about your own feelings of unworthiness in his eyes.  

In other words my dear it is all about you and your making up reasons as to why the father should not have contact.  YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!!

some men just are not cut out to be partners but your intention of denying contact is not only selfish and bitter i can also almost guarantee the fact that if you continue in this type of thing it will damage your own relationship with your child down the road.  

every one always looks for the easy way out and when i first read your letter i thought it was wonderful that you were so expressive and open telling your story and looking for help in making your decision.

after reading all of your other posts i realized that you are looking for an answer that is already there but you are requiring that proof be handed to you as to why genetics are important and that is just plain silly and simpleminded.  why is a second cousin or a grandparent less important and should you worry about the child establishing a relationship with them too!!!!!!!!!!!  (COME ON).....  what came first the chicken or the egg....

well on this site the child comes first  and if the parent tries then they deserve to be in the childs life..

You need to see someone and work out your emotional problems before they start to play with your childrens minds it is quite apparent that you are quite damaged from your latest relationship.  

I can only hope that your children are taught at school to realize the importance of family because apparently you missed that day in class or had a very stinted family upbringing yourself.  raising the question of genetics as many times as you did i am wondering how you survived your first relationship long enough to have a second child.  I am sure the males in relationships with you feel very important and secure .. gosh they are not even given the rank of sperm donor....

I can only hope that the dad gets online and finds this site and perhaps he will end up with custody after your visitation denials and then what shall you do???   It is happening lots more frequently every day.  VISITATION DENIAL = CUSTODY CHANGE to the parent more likely to facilitate a relationship with the other parent.

We are not talking about your rights here but the rights of your daughter and fortunately for her she has you looking out for her rights ....  I am sure you will inevitibly do what is right for yourself.

rini

go to self help

last forms on the bottom..

form for civil contempt.

reference court order and file for a hearing ..

go to your self help county office

rini

hello

//www.flcourts.org/

go to self help

go to dissolution of marraige

use self help office in your county in Fl

fill out form

serve her at last known address or known address

get an order for custody or a TRO

rini

hello

go to //www.flcourts.org/

go to self help

there is a family law web site

in your county there are self help offices

fill out the papers

get a hearing date

get custody

go get your child

rini