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Messages - mango

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Custody Issues / RE: Duress
« on: May 06, 2004, 07:42:57 AM »
She is putting you under financial duress. I would think you could tell her that is blackmail. She is giving you threats to scare you because you have a good chance at getting the kids. It sounds like they are better off with you.

Why the change of heart with the inlaws? Is it because they see less of the kids? Can you talk to them, maybe promise to work them into visitation order. We did that with both sets of g-parents in the past. You can write naything in an order that you want.

They need to be with you. Bottom line. A mother on drugs is not a good example for kids.

Custody Issues / RE: YES it would be awful to give up on your child
« on: May 04, 2004, 07:46:10 AM »
But is all the negativity good for her? The constant problems the BM creates and the court battles. Her BM says we are horrible people for not letting her live where she wants, and that she is so miserable rotating back and forth. (Which I know her mom fills her head with regularly) But if the child is saying it too, at what point do we let go...?

Custody Issues / Age 12, decide or not?
« on: May 03, 2004, 02:39:59 PM »
If a child at age 12 says they want to live full-time with one parent or another, how much weight does that carry in court? If the parents have always had a joint custody  plan?

Does a judge listen to a 12 year old? Or will they just make the child continue the custody order?

We expect this will happen because the PAS is getting stronger, and eventually the child will go against us in court. All the warning signs are there.

We are tapped emotionally, and finacially, and have two other kids to fend for.

 Would it be awlful to give up? and let her go...? If that is what she says she wants, shouldn't we give it to her?

Custody Issues / RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« on: Apr 27, 2004, 07:34:00 AM »
If it's not onher parenting time why should it matter. Unless she is afraid they will get hurt, i can't  see any reason for her to object to this.

You are being awlfully nice to work it into your own time.

Custody Issues / RE: How long is normal?
« on: Apr 23, 2004, 05:54:27 AM »
Ours took a few days to interview, and then a month for him to type his results.

The long process was the court dates, and for the magestrate to determine if he will align with the therapist view or not. That can take years.

Custody Issues / RE: A Devistating Loss
« on: Apr 22, 2004, 09:37:49 AM »
How old are your kids?

Unfortunately, courts always rule in favor of the mother. The mother can unstable, out of the picture, jobless, unmarried, live in apartment to apartment etc.

The father can be stable, always raised the children since birth, employed, own his own home, and have a traditional family (half-siblings) for the child. The most the father will get is a 50/50 plan, no school district, because the mother has "more time to devote" because she has no job, and no other children to distract from her time with the child.


Reverse it, give the father the title of unemployed, single, unstable, and the mother the family (half-siblings), job, stability and she gets "Full custody" because the father is unstable, and mother has a traditional family life to offer the child.

Double standard city.

Custody Issues / RE: Taking Custody of my sister
« on: Apr 16, 2004, 10:00:55 AM »
I wonder if you could just get your mom to enroll her in you local school, as if she lived with you. (Your mom that is).

Just keep it under wraps with your mom.

I'd be leary of the dad. Who knows what he is capable of....

If you start a custody litigation he may just get territorial for now real reason other then, he can.

Just a thought.

I would also look under NPD.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is a personality disorder that usually thinks they are superior and better then the other parent. Thier home is better, job, environment, parenting, food, clothes, etc.

Father's Issues / RE: Disgusted and Done
« on: Mar 06, 2007, 12:43:04 PM »
I'd just write letters to the child. Stating that you want to see them, please call. Tell them you care & miss them. You think of them often.

Try to look beyond and think of the adult relationship that lies ahead. It will come. Just focus on it and it will be here soon enough.

Father's Issues / Home alone
« on: Jul 07, 2006, 02:14:13 PM »
My SD is withus for part of the summer and the BM the other part. The BM has been unemployed for 5 years and never had to work because her parents supported her living expenses.

Anyway, she now has a job, and the SD is 12 years old and will be left home alone at BM's house during hte entire day while she is at work. My DH works out of the home and is home with her and her half siblings (our) kids during the day.

I am inclined to feel that she is old enough to be home alone but also old enough to get into trouble with "friends" through nothing better to do.

Would we be out of line to request that we have her during the day for some of the days, just to avoid mischief?

I know the BM would oppose such and idea, as she would rather she is alone then "bonding" with us.

Any thoughts on this?

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