Messages

Soc,

BM filed contempt on DH, and date was set last August 5. On that day the magistrate said how she would "likely" rule, but said she would like the two to mediate, and ordered them to mediate. (Her likely rule was that DH was not in contempt of anything)

Joint legal custody, 50/50 plan.

The contempt charge was:
1.) BM's purchase of an $800 flute without discussion with DH and sending him the bill for half, and then saying he was in contempt for not paying for it.

2.) And also BM enrolled SD into a daily swim club, and expected DH to take her to the daily practices on his parenting time far out of his town. He did not agree to the club, and expressed it verbally to her. Then he did not take her to the practices on his time, and BM said he was in contempt for not taking her and said he was obligated to pay for half the costs of the club.  (...plus she wanted attorney fees)

Mediation occurred 2X. Mediator said she would send something in the mail about what was discussed, (but not a final agreement) and see if it could be worked into a final agreement before next set court date. Nov. 19.

This has been well over 1 month ago, and nothing has come in the mail or heard otherwise.

The discussions were not really all that great for DH, just compromising for the sake of a compromise. He said he would pay for half flute if she would agree to "discuss" purchases with him prior, and he might put SD in a less aggressive club in his own area. But BM pushed it and wanted attorney fees (still) and for him to pay for the past swim club fees. He was not willing to do the last two things.  -It was still a rough discussion.


What should DH do from this point?

1.) Call to find out what ever happened to the mediator mailing out something?  or,

2.) Leave it alone, since he is likely he prevail in court anyways, and not even have to pay the $400 or compromise with the local club, which he isn't all that in favor of either?

Our attorney strongly suggests he not pay for the half of the flute and hold his ground all all issues. That this is a start of larger issues.

Your wife can quit her job and stay home. No income from her can be calculated then.

I gave you the gist of it, I figure you will know what you are looking for in this "book".




AGREED SHARED PARENTING PLAN

The parties, Plaintiff (father) Defendant (mother) are Parents of the Minor child. The mother and father submit that it is in the best interest of the minor child that the court adopt the Shared Parenting plan, as set forth herein.

PARENTAL COMMITMENT:

The parents shall share in the parenting of the minor child so that each parent may continue having a full and active role in providing a sound a d loving  environment for the minor child. The parents shall promote a healthy and beneficial relationship with the other parent and will  not demean, speak out against, or act negatively in any manner that would damage the natural flow of love and caring between either Parent and the minor child.


PARENTAL RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS:

Each Parent shall have the following rights and obligations:

A. To participate and consult in all major decisions affecting the welfare of the minor child, including matters affecting the health, social development, morals, welfare, education and economic environment of said child. This right shall include but not limited to consultation with any treating physician, dentist, psychologist, health care provider, teacher, counselor, tutor, coach, or any other persons who significantly impact the minor child.

Each Party hereby assigns the other Parent the authority to consent to any necessary emergency medical, surgical, hospital, dental, institutional, psychological or psychiatric treatment for the minor child. Further, the Mother and the Father shall each be entitled to obtain a second opinion from a competent professional at their own cost with respect to any and all medical related issues pertaining to the minor child. If there is any disagreement after any second opinions are obtained, the Mother's choice shall control.


SCHOOL PLACEMENT:

The Mother is designated as residential parent for school placement purposes for so long as, and only for so long as, she resides in the XX School District.

If the Mother should move from the XX School district, to anywhere, for any reason, the parties agree that Father shall be immediately designated as residential parent for school placement purposes, without need for a hearing before the Court.


PHYSICAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:

The child shall live with the Mother and Father, spending approximately 50% of the time with each parent, being with the father as follows:

Child shall be with father beginning the first Friday of each month for period of 9.5 days from 3:30 Friday until the 2nd following Monday at 7:30 a.m.
The child shall be with the father the weekend which starts on the 4th Friday of the month, from afterschool until Mondays at 7:30am.

The dispossessed parent shall have child on Wednesdays from 5:00- 8:00. Parent having this time shall pick-up and drop off child.

The above schedule shall be followed throughout the year. However, the parties shall share the summer school vacation period which shall be defined as one day after school is out and terminate the Friday prior to school starting for fall semester. The parties shall divide summer, with father 50% plus one week, and mother 50% less one week for said summer months. Father shall have first half of summer mother the second.

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:

The parties will cooperate in facilitating extracurricular activities. During the time each parent has said child, each parent will be responsible for taking the child to her extracurricular activities.

The cost of school-related or school sponsored said extracurricular activities will be equally divided between the parents, each paying 50% of the same. However, should either parent enroll the child in a non-school related extracurricular activity without the agreement of the other parent who did not agree for the child to participate in said extracurricular activity shall have no obligation to pay any of the costs of said extracurricular activity and shall be relieved of any obligation to transport the child to said extracurricular activity. The purpose of this clause is to ensure that neither parent enrolls the child in an extracurricular activity without the express agreement of the other parent.

However, either parent may indicate that while they do not agree with the enrollment into the extracurricular activity, they may agree by written notice to the parent who is enrolling the child in said extracurricular activity, that they will not agree to pay for said activity, but will transport the child to said activity and in that manner, the parent who is enrolling the child shall not be in violation, that an entire agreement must be entered into prior to enrolling the child in any extracurricular activity.

SCHOOL ACTIVITIES NOTICE:
Persuant  to Ohio Revised code Section 3109.051(J) the parties hereto are hereby notified as follows:

Excepting as specifically modified or otherwise limited by court order, and subject to ORC section 3319.321(F), the parent who is not the residential parent, is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions as the residential parent, to any student activity that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access. Any school employee or official who knowingly fails to comply with this order is in contempt of court.

We have a move away clause. Mother had moved 13 times (statewide) and for some reason the courts felt compelled to give her "one more chance" to be stable. Father's strongest arguement was that the child needed to be in the same school for more then one year in a row. She needed to make some friends...

So we had written in our plan, and I think you can customize your plan however you want if parties agree;

Mother is designated as residential parent for school placement purposes for so long as, and only for so long as, she resides in the XX School District.

If the Mother should move from the XX School district, to anywhere, for any reason, the parties agree that Father shall be immediately designated as residential parent for school placement purposes, without need for a hearing before the Court.

Hope that helps.

Dear Soc,

1) In a joint parenting plan (50/50), does the non-residential school parent have the right to enroll his/her child in school sponsored activities? (It would be for a ski club, and there were some medical release forms, that actually may need both parent signatures)

2.) If the activity only falls upon the non-residential parents parenting time, and does not affect the other parents schedule?

3.) If the residential parent objects, will the school support the residential parents choice over the residential?

4.) What does access mean in the blurb below?

School activities notice:
Excepting as specifically modified or otherwise limited by court order, and subject to ORC section 3319.321(F), the parent who is not the residential parent, is entitled to access, under the same terms and conditions as the residential parent, to  any student activity that is related to the child and to which the residential parent of the child legally is provided access. Any school employee or official who knowingly fails to comply with this order is in contempt of court.

Franklin county, Ohio.

Thanks for the info.

Hi Soc,

We have (over a 7 year period) had 3 parenting plans, each lasting no longer then 2 years each. Always resulted in a 50/50 plan.

BM has been the cause for change, whether it be a move, or an attempt to move daughter or something. But not always the one to file. She would move and take daughter and father would file to bring her back. So looks like dad instigates by filing first to prevent the moves...

Child is now nearly 11, and BM is threatening to sue for sole custody. No change in circumstances. She might use "wishes of the child" as I know she has been prepping SD, and planning for this upon her reaching age 12.

Our attorney says we need to file ourselves for full custody, because the BM is out for hate, and is purposefully trying to destroy the father-daughter relationship.

Not wanting to go against our attorney, but we simply want to leave it as is. No more courts, and fights.

1.) Can BM file for change if there is nothing new?

2.) Can she claim "wishes of the child" and drag us through more costly battles?

3.) At what point do courts notice a pattern and just hang the hat on these court loving people?

4.) Can we claim this as an another obvious attempt to interfere in relationship?

5.) Even if we fight for sole and win, wouldn't the child be old enough to reverse anything at age 12 or 14 or so?

Any advice really would help...

ok.

Hopefully it will not be an issue too soon in the future, but given her tract record I'd though I'd ask.

Thank you!

Soc,

Mother father never married.

Ohio court. Agreed entry.

50/50 shared parenting plan that designates the Mother as residential parent for school placement only.

Mother had moved over 13 times (country, and statewide moves, France, OH, CN, NY, MO) During which the father had child in Ohio during mothers moving around. No support order. Visits from mother, and 2 years that she lived in Ohio and they shared custody, fathers school district.

Father was stable, in Ohio and the residential parent for 3 years (Ohio, K-2), mother one year in (Missouri, for 3rd grade). Long story. Father allowed "a temporary move" out of state for only one year. (bad move) Had to fight to have her brought back into Ohio.

Resulted in Mother returning from MO however she refused to live in same town as father so child could attend her same school as before, she got an apartment 30 mins away. So father fought for his district, Mother argued for hers, based on that she was unemployed, and had not kids. She claimed since the father worked full-time and had two additional small children that he was "too busy" to deal with school.  She claimed to have more time to devote to their daughter with school work.

Father argued that she was unstable and he should be designated school district because he was more stable, had a perminent address and a family support system. Furthermore, he didn't want to risk having his daughter uprooted from school once more, given teh mothers history.

Oddly, the courts "suggested" they work out an order with the mothers district with a shared 50/50 plan, since she had more time to devote then the father.

So father agreed to allow mothers district, with a written clause in the order granting him the school district if she moves once more.

(Also, fearing that if Mother had residential she could potentially move her out of state thereafter, as she had tried to do in previous years. This clause 'supposedly' prevents that to some degree).

So now the agreement/order states:

SCHOOL PLACEMENT:
The parties intend that child shall attend school in the Central Ohio area. To that end, Mother is designated as residential parent for placement purpose for so long as, and only for so long as, she resides in the Upper Arlington School District.

If Mother should move from the Upper Arlington School District, to anywhere for any reason, the Parties agree that Father shall be immediately designated as residential parent for school placement purposes, without need for a hearing before the Court.

This has been in effect for 2 years now. With no moves so far.

My Q:
1.) If mother moves, how does father enroll his daughter in his school district with that wording? Does he need some type of proof that she indeed moved? Our simply a letter from an attorney?

2.) Also, the parenting time is geared towards the mother with more "school-time" and father more "leisure-time". So it would not be conducive to the fathers district, if he were to have her in his school. So would it still need to be heard before a court? To re-work the schedule?

3.) Would the Parenting time simply switch?

I'd like the answer to that one too. We have teh same issues (in Ohio) with the schools. BM removes papers from schoolbag, and we have to beg for report cards from the school. By the time we get them it's time for the next grade card.

we even have a joint plan, mother has school placement, and no other priveledges. But for some reason teh schools don't want to work with us.

I'd also like to know what the other ways of getting a passport are. We believe the BM has gotten a passport without fatehrs consent–somehow. Even tho the law's changed, I think she got around it.