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I would think she could not enroll her without the prior agreement of the father by reading this agreement. It states that paprents need to agree before enrolling child.

But at times it is not so clear. ..

1.) Can you tell if he is obligated to participate in the swim-club by reading this?

>>>

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:

The parties will cooperate in facilitating extracurricular activities. During the time each parent has said child, each parent will be responsible for taking the child to her extracurricular activities.

The cost of school-related or school sponsored said extracurricular activities will be equally divided between the parents, each paying 50% of the same. However, should either parent enroll the child in a non-school related extracurricular activity without the agreement of the other parent who did not agree for the child to participate in said extracurricular activity shall have no obligation to pay any of the costs of said extracurricular activity and shall be relieved of any obligation to transport the child to said extracurricular activity. The purpose of this clause is to ensure that neither parent enrolls the child in an extracurricular activity without the express agreement of the other parent. However, either parent may indicate that while they do not agree with the enrollment into the extracurricular activity, they may agree by written notice to the parent who is enrolling the child in said extracurricular activity, that they will not agree to pay for said activity, but will transport the child to said activity and in that manner, the parent who is enrolling the child shall not be in violation, that an entire agreement must be entered into prior to enrolling the child in any extracurricular activity.

>If you have the described text in the order, then you don't
>have to pay your half for the flute, because no agreement was
>ever reached on how much would be spent.
>
>Although there is no set amount for what makes a major
>decision regarding a purchase of goods, $500 is usually a good
>starting point, because the Uniform Commercial Code in 49
>States (all but LA) use $500 as the amount at which a purchase
>contract must be in writing.
>
>You could also use some percentage of combined net disposable
>income, but that makes for a more complex argument.

I typed up the portion of the agreement with the parental obligations and the activities section: (this might clarify my swim-club post also)

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PARENTAL RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS:

Each Parent shall have the following rights and obligations:

A. To participate and consult in all major decisions affecting the welfare of the minor child, including matters affecting the health, social development, morals, welfare, education and economic environment of said child. This right shall include but not limited to consultation with any treating physician, dentist, psychologist, health care provider, teacher, counselor, tutor, coach, or any other persons who significantly impact the minor child.

Each Party hereby assigns the other Parent the authority to consent to any necessary medical emergency, surgical, hospital, dental, institutional, psychological or psychiatric treatment for the minor child. Further, the Mother and the Father shall each be entitled to obtain a second opinion from a competent professional at their own cost with respect to any and all medical related issues pertaining to the minor child. If there is any disagreement after any second opinions are obtained, the Mother's choice shall control.

(other stuff inbetween....)

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES:

The parties will cooperate in facilitating extracurricular activities. During the time each parent has said child, each parent will be responsible for taking the child to her extracurricular activities.

The cost of school-related or school sponsored said extracurricular activities will be equally divided between the parents, each paying 50% of the same. However, should either parent enroll the child in a non-school related extracurricular activity without the agreement of the other parent who did not agree for the child to participate in said extracurricular activity shall have no obligation to pay any of the costs of said extracurricular activity and shall be relieved of any obligation to transport the child to said extracurricular activity. The purpose of this clause is to ensure that neither parent enrolls the child in an extracurricular activity without the express agreement of the other parent. However, either parent may indicate that while they do not agree with the enrollment into the extracurricular activity, they may agree by written notice to the parent who is enrolling the child in said extracurricular activity, that they will not agree to pay for said activity, but will transport the child to said activity and in that manner, the parent who is enrolling the child shall not be in violation, that an entire agreement must be entered into prior to enrolling the child in any extracurricular activity.

PHYSICAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:
The child shall live with the Mother and Father, spending approximately 50% of the time with each parent, being with the father as follows:

Child shall be with father beginning the first Friday of each month for period of 9.5 days from 3:30 Friday until the 2nd following Monday at 7:30 a.m.
The child shall be with the father the weekend which starts on the 4th Friday of the month, from afterschool until Mondays at 7:30am.

The dispossessed parent shall have child on Wednesdays from 5:00- 8:00. Parent having this time shall pick-up and drop off child.

The above schedule shall be followed throughout the year. However, the parties shall share the summer school vacation period which shall be defined as one day after school is out and terminate the Friday prior to school starting for fall semester. The parties shall divide summer, with father 50% plus one week, and mother 50% less one week for said summer months. Father shall have first half of summer mother the second.


(more.......etc)
>>>>.

How can I post you my parenting plan in PDF format? I have it ready for you to  look over.

I would think if you parenting plan says you can take her to doctors without consulting each other you should. But if you need to consult each other for medical decsions then you can't.

We deal with the programming too, and I would love to take my SD to a psychologist, but I know the mother would put a holt to it. So instead I went alone and got tips from the councelor on how to handle the situation and combat it. It's all I can do for now....

Thank you for your response.

The child is already involved in private flute lessons, and private piano, and her school-teachers are complianing that her assignments are turned in late or incompleted. So I think we can safely add that to our reasons why it's not in her best interest to do the club, as she is already busy.

If she were to be forced to do the club, we would have to give up custody as we can not afford to take a family of 5 out of town every weekend for a sporting activity. and the other kids need their father also.

I know courts look at the "child at hand" and not the other children involved, but it would damage far more then one relationship if this club were to occur.

Thanks for the response.

Our plan does  indicate "The parties shall agree on any major decisions regarding the child's health and welfare."

I will show my husband his options, and he can decide from there.

We are not using an attorney, as we can not afford one, since she has us in court every 3-6 months for 6 years counting......

It's not the $$ amount of the flute that bothers him, it's the fact that she can spend his money whenever she chooses that bothers him. He wants it policed to some degree, or at least be asked how he spends his money out of respect. It's simply rude not to.

Soc,

We share 50/50 custody of my 10-year-old step-daughter in Ohio. The father has mostly weekends (3 per month) and one full week every month.

In the order it states parents are obligated to transport child to "school-related activities" on their parenting time. There is no obligations for "optional activities", unless parents expressly agree upon activity prior to enrollment of said activity.

Mother offered up an aggressive year-round "swim club" which practice 4-5 times during the week and have out-of-town swim meets on weekends. Father would be required to travel to the meets, and afford hotel stays. This club dominates the fathers parenting time and will disrupt his entire families weekends. Holding the whole family hostage to swimming every weekned except once per month.

He immediately told her he would not agree to the swim club on his parenting time. Mother enrolled her regardless, and took her on her one weekend per month.

She then filed contempt of court for "refusal to take child to school-related activities, and paying for 1/2 of said activity." Says it's related because it prepares children for the swim team offered in high school.

The club is community driven and not sponsored, offered, or supported by the school system.

Also, the agreement does state "The parties shall agree on any major decisions regarding the child's health and welfare."


Q?

1-  What defines "school-related" activity? Doesn't it mean "sponsored, supported or offered", by the school?

2-  Is father in contempt since he did not agree to the club in the first place?

3- Can father claim this to be "interference in fathers parenting time" since in dominates his time and not hers. That family relationships are more important then an activity?

Thanks, :-0

Dear Soc,

We share 50/50 joint custody (Ohio) of my step-daughter and have no support order. In the plan it states "parents agree to pay for one-half of the costs of the the childs school-related activities." Step-daughter is in 5th grade, and decided to take flute lessons in school, and the mother went out and bought an $800 flute. Then she mails the receipt to the father requesting money, with no discussion over flute options.

He had access to 2 second-hand (already paid for) flutes and offered them instead, since she is a beginner it should have sufficed. The mother refused, and said the child has been using the new one and prefers it.  Now she filed contempt, for not paying for activities.

She also enrolled her in private flute lessons (outside of the school lesson) and father is helping pay 1/2 for those at $80.00 per month. (this was done with no prior discussion as well.)

Q's

1- Does he have an obligation to pay on demand whatever she chooses to purchase without a discussion?

2- Isn't the more expensive flute an arbitrary personal choice?

Thank you,

We share 50/50 joint custody in Ohio, child of age 10. Last year the mother decided to leave the country for over 8 weeks (for school in France) and have someone else (her mother) do the exchanges. She figured no-one would ever know she was gone, and asked the child keep quiet about her travels. The child stayed with the grandparents while she was gone. Mother is residental parent for school only, and grandparents do not live in the district.

1 - My question is wouldn't the father have the right to have full-parenting time if the mother is away (especially if out of the country) for that long a period?

2- Could she be held in contempt of court for not telling the father she was out of the country?

3- Does the grandparent (third party) have the right to parent on mothers parenting time over the father??

4- If she plans to do this again, is there a way we can have the full-parenting time.

Well now, SD is making her own plans on our time, and calls dad and cries, "I don't want to come see you this weekend, I want to do this or tht with friends."

So, he has been letting her stay at her moms from time to time. But, it's pretty much expected that on thursday we get the call, with some excuse or another.

He told her he was tired of her disrespecting him and making plans on OUR time, and she should be asking him, and not telling him. He said he is more then willing to be "flexible" but wants some respect.

In the past BM has always said SD doesnt' want to come because this or that. She would say things that SD said that were mean about us. SD said she even hated her siblings. We have been fighting back to force the parenting time despite of what BM reports about ehr time with us, and how miserable she supposedly is/was.

Now that SD (age 13 now) is personally calling us to reject us, we feel different about stuff.

I mean do we force her to come over, or be flexible, or let go.

Bio-dad is hurt now. Very hurt. and doesn't know what to do. She is PAS'd beyond us, and the rejection is hard on him, now that it comes from his daughter herself.

He feels like if he keeps being flexible, we will pretty much be perminatley eliminated. Maybe deep down he wants him to be firm about the time together.

I personally am loosing my energy to keep doing this. It's hard on my own kids, and it hurts to see them go through the dissappointments too. I count down the time to age 18, but even then the BM will still work her against us.

I imagine the we will be bad-mouthed to grandkids someday too. I really don't see much hope for my SD to ever feel free to love us. Her mom is so manipulative, and can convince anyone to see things her way. She is really good at it.

Right now, we are just beign flexible. If BM tries to take us to court again, for the 6th time, I'm sure the courts will look down on her. Especially after the last time.

But at age 13 I don't really see a point in court, when the child is so in favor of her mom, we would  be foolish to bother with court.