Topics

I have a friend who is the NCP.  For the last 4 years, the CP has worked very hard to push and replace the NCP in the lives of their two children.

Well, today....there was court.  They were ordered to have an evaluation done and here's what the evaluator said on the stand:  (well, close at least, I thought it was an awesome way to say ALIENATION without using the word)

"The evaluator was awesome, never saying brainwashed or alienated, but using words like, Son being told things he had no way of remembering, Son overhearing adult things, Son being convinced of things his CP and brother believe to be true, Son being subjected to choose on parent over the other, Son being convinced living without one parent in his life was perfect and good for him, Son being harassed by his CP and brother for reporting a good visit or session with his NCP, Son constantly put in the middle by his CP and brother and feeling pressured to choose and feeling like he had to make a decision for his peace of mind,"

Notice -- I changed it all to be gender neutral....

I am a mother and most of you know that....but have dealt with both a custodial mother and father who were headed in this direction, so both genders can be guilty.

Bottom line is that the CHILD looses  in the long run when this stuff starts happening....

And now this NCP can start turning things around and going back to becoming part of their child's life.

And yes, the CP/Step-parent was blamed by the evaluator for the direction everything was going and was found to be totally overbearing in the whole situation.

The CP and Step-parent could not find ONE good thing to say about the NCP and that spoke volumes to the evaluator.

Think about it......when's the last time you said something positive about your child's other parent????  At one time, there WAS something....and even if it was for one night.

As so life goes on.

To begin,
 I have experienced all sides of the fence.
CP, NCP,SP, And then some!
(not to mention a child of dysfunction myself)

When I read of a NCP Whining about not being able to attend Sporting Events, I See RED!

  So... How Far do you "NCP" expect to travel to attend sporting events?

As a CP parent living in the "boonies" If I only have to drive 1 hour it is great!  (most games are 2 hours away and we attend EVERY game)

The NCP I currently deal with seems to have a problem attending games and supporting the Team.  

If I can travel 2 hours to a game to watch my child sit on the bench, one would think the NCP could as well.
 (but the NCP won't)

NCP expects a MEDAL for every game they attend Once a Year!
 

 (They seem to Leave before the Game (Christmas Program) is over!
I recently extented an offer to reduce Court Ordered Support in hopes that the NCP would agree to allow a teen to play sports and be allowed to grow up.
NCP refused and made things difficult.  

NCP told child they were to short, to young and will not Drive.
And Yet... the state allowed the child a Drivers Licence.
Hmmmm......

 Also, the NCP did not complain when the child started driving on their own for Visitation.  \
 To Date:
I have reduced Child Support by 20$ a month (only 2 years to go)
Been asked to compensate the NCP Loss (Bonus Money) from the IRS

Child has been driving for visits on my Dime...

Never asked for NCP to pay for Medical or Orthodondic treatment.
 (But NCP took me to court for such things)

Life is the same on the other side??
((No one is ever Happy!((
Hugs! and God Bless


Things That Make You Go
Hmmmmmmm

 

Here's to hoping it's a happy one!

You could have knocked me over yesterday....imagine this:

EX#1 is going to assist in getting our son to the airport.  Well, "our son" is really from EX#2....and he's not EX#1's son at all.

This year, it's our son's turn to go spend Thanksgiving with his dad.  Dad bought the airline ticket and son is flying out Saturday from Atlanta.

Well, I always work on the weekend before Thanksgiving and the weekend after Thanksgiving, so getting our son to and from Atlanta and doing it myself is impossible -- and no, can't just not work to accomplish this my job doesn't work that way when it comes down to it.

BUT, I have support from my two girls, son's sisters, and MD(19) will take and pick up her brother...no big deal.  She can use my car, my gas money, etc...

Well, EX#1 is in town next week and MD said "Dad, I gotta run to Atlanta saturday morning."

Dad asked what for and said "Well, do you want me to drive?  Ask your mom if she minds and just give you the gas money and we'll take my rental car."

So MD called -- and I said "O.k." of course because goal is to get son to the airport to go see HIS dad.

It's not a fun drive, just over 5 hours round trip for drop offs and son is old enough to get himself to the gate now so they don't have to "go inside" and stuff....

I'm hoping Dad just wants the time with MD --- because if he's doing this because he thinks MD can't handle it and she figures that out, he's in for a world of hurt (I raised independent minded "I can do it" girls).

Still can't believe EX#1/Dad said he'd do it.

On Monday, I received primary residential placement of our son because he wants to go to high school here with me.

It's a temp order, pending a full hearing, but he'll be going to here for his freshman year.

How did it happen?

I know the truth (obviously) which EX and Camilla won't admit to and since they still come here and kill trees (print my posts), we will leave it at that.

God knows what really happened because he is everywhere.  I can face him, and that's all that matters.

Our son is thrilled to be back home, here in Alabama!

Sorry about what you experienced on Father's Day.

Do yourself a huge favor and get a copy of Divorce Poison -- go to ebay and you'll find it.

It will help you counter the alienation that mom is doing.

One thing I don't understand after reading the thread below -- why Florida? from MO?

Which way did she take the kids?  And is FL following Mom?

And in the end, what did you file for in MO?

and though he's not mine as in father, or mine as in son, he was still a father and a son....and now he's gone.

Friday was not a good day, but then again, maybe it was.

My girls have a step-brother.....and he's the one I'm talking about.

Years ago, this 17 year old collapsed out of the blue shortly after their dad was stationed in Germany.  The son was flown back to DC, where he almost died but the girls weren't told what was really going on.

Over the years since then, he's had relapses, remissions, and I finally put together that he has a rare form of leukemia...well had.

He fought that battle for 8 years -- and made it past the age of 21 which the doctor's gave him.  He married two summers ago, and they had a beautiful baby boy who turned one last month.  Their son shows no signs so far of having health problems (thank goodness!)

Last fall, after years of remission, he relapsed....but this time they finally found a bone marrow match.  He received his transplant on January 9, 2007 and things were looking wonderful for him.  Until.... the seizures.  They were so bad, that he broke two of the bones in his spinal cord.  During the last weeks, he didn't recognize his wife, his son, his mom, nor his step-dad.....sad.

The decision was made to take him off life support last friday -- and I helped my girls get out to Colorado on short notice.  This next week is gonna be tough for all of them....but even tougher for his mom and wife.

Step-dad sent out an e-mail requesting that folks think twice and volunteer to donate blood and even more so, to be registered on the bone marrow registry if the opportunity arises.  Heck, make the opportunity arise....

I can't since I lived in England for too long.   But this weekend, even though he's not "mine" at all, I did something I usually never do.  At my show, there was a customer in my store and we were talking.  At the end, she asked me if I would buy one of her pink wristbands or pink pins.  Usually, I say no....but this time I bought one.  Never know if the donations for that type of stuff is really gonna go where the person says it might.  Been wearing it all weekend, and then came home to read the e-mail EX#1 sent.

Maybe the life of another father, mother, or child will be saved...next time.

SS won today and he's on his way back east as I type.

Dad has a signed order in his hand granting Dad primary custody of SS.

BM failed to show in court and thought that the judge would just grant a continuance.

Her actions over the last 10 years have finally done her in totally -- and this could have all been avoided if she would have been the parent she was supposed to be over the years.

All three of her children have testified over the years that they wanted to leave their mother to live with their father.

Guess I need to change my signature block again....

From our family to yours....

I'm off to head up the Father's Day Breakfast at our church!

I screwed up this morning and need to let you know.

My computer has been slow, and I ended up with a double post.

So I went to delete one of the two and deleted the whole thread.

Sent a PM to Admin to see if they can restore it for you.

There wasn't anything new posted, I just wanted to say "HI" Thair!

need to get in touch and prefer to PM you, BUT....lost your e-mail address.

you have mail...

I just got a phone call from my DH who is at work.

He's been asked to testify on behalf of a mother who just got picked up for TRUANCY.

Seems as if her son hasn't been attending school like he's supposed to and -- while I don't know who filed the charges, she's gotta appear in court and explain WHY to the judge.

Don't know the details -- like how old is the child, how often did he skip, who filed the charges, you know those things.

What can DH say in court?  Well, I know he's answered several calls to the home address for various things -- and he himself is not sure how he can help the mother besides telling the judge how many times he's been to the house and for what reasons.

I told you parents are ultimately responsible for a child's truancy!

Something some folks here might want to keep in mind....