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That is a very good game and I'm glad you recognize it.  It's also one of those things mentioned in Divorce Poison...  if it weren't for that book, I think I would have gone INSANE with all the stupid games my EX played like that too.

Can you truly not make it happen?  It's hard to say "do this" or "do that" -- not knowing the logistical details --

When I had situations like that -- geography was how I made my decisions.

Many times once our son was here, he would forget about what he was missing at Dad's who had primary residential custody.  Out of signt out of mind kicked in easily.

Sometimes a vague answer to the EX is a way to calm them down -- "Thanks for letting me know about the party and we shall see if we can fit that into the weekend for our son." -- that's not confirming, that's checking to see if you can fit it in.   Since it's your child's weekend with you immediately, you can't switch to make sure you get makeup time....since Mom likes to play games....  And you can't fault the child totally for wanting to go at that age and wanting to be included in activities with his peers -- particularly if it's a good activity.  Yes, you can fault MOM for telling him, but chances are he's gonna find out anyways later in school or something.

When he's connected -- remember your time, you rules, YOUR time to parent.

ditto to all that.

Such a sad word we all live in.....when tickling is turned around like that.

Print, file, screen shot, and move on.  Enjoy your vacation and limit your communication with the real abuser which is the other side for taking something simple and fun and trying to turn it into something ugly.

She sounds manipulative and like a real winner -- chicken dinner! -- you really do have a handle on this whether you realize it or not.

I think your responses to your son show this....

Have some faith in your gut responses which are focused on the children and what's right for everyone.

I would say yes too.

GAL represents the children.

ALSO what you can share with the GAL as evidence where the rules of evidence are concerned is much more lenient...not like sharing evidence in a courtroom.

Ocean and Tigger are giving you great advice.

I too would say stand your ground.  Half of free is free to you too because it's focused on the child.

Thanks the update!!  Hope things keep going in the right direction -- and that your kids are seeing the truth.  THAT's always a really good sign that you have  great relationship with them.

I would hear words like that too....

I kinda agree with this.

As the kids get older, their needs change, and the parents need to be more flexible.

SO....you two were trying to co-parent and cooperate....and in good faith, you came to a mutual agreement to change the terms of parenting time this one time.

Courts like parents who cooperate.....

And that's why I think you have a leg to stand on no matter what.

When the whole situation becomes filled with tension -- and one parent becomes a PITA - like a custodial parent who interferes, denies time, plays the mind games, then that's a different story.  But again, now you know.  And next time she asks to switch time, make sure the kids get their time with their dad first....

Be cooperative, but protective at the same time.

Is the extra four days at the beginning or end of your normal time with the kids?

If it's at the end, I'd simply continue with your plans and say "you agreed to this and showed intent to agree by using Memorial Day weekend" 

And from here on out, never agree to a change until YOU get the time first and then she can have the time she wants afterwards.....because she can't be trusted.