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OK, THIS answers some of my other questions in the other section.

You have spoken to other attorneys.

You have a unique situation.

Your attorney is not going to recuse themselves because your case might make a "name" for themselves down the road.....this situation probably doesn't come up very often.

SO......what do you do.

First, take the time between now and graduation to learn all that you can about "age of majority" support in your state that has jurisdiction to include whatever Social Security there is available for a disabled young adult.  You have time to get really smart about this subject.  Think health insurance -- can you carry her beyond high school? 

I have a friend who is custodial to her son and this child has some health issues that might make him a disabled adult. He's turning 18 soon.....she had to do something with Social Security and file something to protect a potential claim on his behalf down the road before he turned 18.  So that's why I'm bringing that up.

Start looking for case files on line in the state that has jurisdiction that cover this subject.

Maybe find a law school in the jurisdiction state and see if they have a student group to assist with this (West Virginia University does).

So your child will "emancipate and graduate" at a certain date.  Then file for emancipation, and Mom will have to file for age of majority support based on a disability.  Get ready to ask for proof of the disability and that's when you fight this.

As for pissing mom off and therefore pissing child off.....that depends on what kind of relationship you have now as to what I'd say to do. 

OK, just read your other post -- do you have additional children beyond the one who is supposed to graduate?

If not.....let it ride....hang in there until graduation and then the case or situation goes away by itself.?

let me get this right.

You hired an attorney.

You wanted to fire him, and he didn't budge.

so you complained to the bar and he left your case.

You REHIRED him.

And now he refuses to fire himself.

Figure out how to file whatever it is you need to file yourself to fire him and have that entered into the record. And then represent yourself.  (not sure this is smart in your case)

Maybe do a free one hour consult with a different attorney to get their point of view on the why and see if they will take your case.  Better have a big retainer to go this route.

Pay off first attorney in full and then maybe they will budge.

File in NC immediately so that she can't establish residency in any other state.

the SSCRA will protect you also to a degree if you find yourself fighting in another state.

BUT if you file first for temp then permanent custody, jurisdiction should stay with you.

Hopefully you're not going to get deployed or transferred soon.

probably illegal....

but at this point I'd let it go.

I'm confused....in the other post you said that they were quick to point out that you were step-grandma to the child.

Actually, none of that matters.

What you learned is that as soon as you file, they clean up their act and the judge buys it.

SO....do your part ..... and with time they'll fall apart into pieces again, and you'll be the only one left standing to take care of the grandbaby.

Ocean gives good advice....

set it aside in a separate account....so it's not under your daily nose in your account.....  And I agree -- no lump sum.

I pay a bill here in our home similarly -- so that my sweetie doesn't have the monthly reminder of something that hurts.  He pays -- but gives me the money in a chunk which pays all his bills.  So there's a bit of protection from the monthly reminder of the jerk that gets it.

In high conflict situations, I never advise phone calls.

Emails, maybe....too easy to hit the forward button.

I recommend written request.

I recommend you do what you think is necessary before the child turns 18....because too many agencies draw the line there.

I also recommend using the chain of command -- go above their heads when there is no cooperation.  Yes, I wrote the State of WV Board of Education once -- when the principal was spouting phrases that my EX used, her husband was the County Superinendent, so I had to go above him.  That meant state.  After I did that -- I didn't have a problem.  They shut up.

Find out when your individual state truly emancipates minors (in Alabama it's 19).

Do you pay through the state's CS office?

Contact the school prior to graduation and see if they will send you proof that the child has graduated -- if your states says "emancipated after high school" -- like make sure all the stars line up.

Then file with the court and ask that the child be emancipated......and if you pay through the state CS -- send them  certified letter asking the same with proof.

About 30 days prior to the final date.....give them some time to work it out.

Some situations t isn't necessary -- other states it is -- other states continue on with age of majority support (college).

Sending positive vibes for a good outcome!

I'm sorry you have gone through this and feel that way.

I'm a mom -- and many here are women.

YES, the group and website started out focusing on a place for Men to get help and that's honestly what led me here.  My husband was the victim of abuse by his Ex-wife through and through....

What happened in the early years (realize this site has been here for 20 years), was that the owner realized that the pendulum swings both ways....  and the true focus is on the children.  So the name changed to what it is today. 

I will never argue statistics because if I learned ANYTHING in statistics class in college is that I can take a set of numbers and come up with the answer I need to support any position I need.  In court the judge will focus on your individual case......not some studies, and definitely cases that have gone before you in your state.

The rest....is fake news if you ask me.