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Yeah. I'm only 10.5 weeks but I swear I'm already waddling!

The cellphone idea is cute but DH TODAY had a series of emails from his ex flipping out about a 20 cent text he sent his daughter to let her know he tried to call her on her home phone and he promised and could not get through.

I think the plan is to send SD a bouquet of flowers with a message simply saying "love Dad". When she calls to ask him about it, he can tell her the news.

I am terrified of seeing his ex at graduation. Seriously terrified. She is so crazy and now she is panicing. Once she finds out we are expecting, I don't know what she will do.

Someone asked if this is SD's first sibling. Yes. This is it. DH and BM were very young when they had SD and now Dh and I are "mature" and having our first.

Thanks again. Everyone here is so helpful.

Ref

Great ideas guys! I really appreciate the help. I'll pass them on to DH.

We honestly can't say how SD will react. She is so much like her mom sometimes.

Thanks again
Ref

I think the best you can do is to do one of two things.

1. If her income for working 30 hrs a week is less than minimum wage, I would ask that minimum wage be caculated. If she recently reduced her hours, I would ask that it be calculated at 40 hours at minimum wage.

2. If she had a different job and was making more in the past couple years, you (meaning your attorney) can ask for her tax returns for the time she worked at the other job and say she is not working to her potential. That way you can get her income imputed.

Honestly though, to fight to reduce your CS will likely cost you thousands of dollars and might cost you a lot more emotionally. You have to look at it in a cost/benefit way. If you get your CS reduced to $50/month and the court case cost you $3k (DH's cost him $5k),  It will take 5 years before the whole thing saves you a dime.

Sometimes you need to take a step back and not worry about what is right, but what will be best for you and your child.

Take care,
Ref

What exactly does your parenting agreement say as far as pick-up and drop-off? If it were silent on who does what leg of the trip, I would write him a letter that says that you will agree to him picking up the baby at your home and you will meet him at the hotel to pick-up.

If you go back to court, I would push for this wording  to be put in your agreement. It always made more sense to me that the person who wants time with the child be responsible for pick-up. That incentivises the parent who wants to see the baby to do the leg work.

Make sure you document all the driving you are doing too. Keep a calendar of the pick-up adn drop-offs and who did the driving. Include any toll receipts or stop a a gas station near the pick-up point and pick-up some gum and keep the receipt.

One more thing. With him living so far away, how often do you have to deal with this inconvience? If it is once or twice a year, I wouldn't push the issue. He is being a jerk about it, but it is not worth the hours of crap you would have to go through to save a hour a year worth of driving IMO.

Good luck. It sounds like you are going to have years of this ahead of you. The only off topic advice I have is to pick your battles carefully. Sometimes letting the other parent win allows you and your child to live a happier life than if you fought and won.

Ref

PS I don't like the like gray font. It is really hard to read!

Thank you so much for your thoughts and your well wishes. I really like the idea of sending flowers, but BM has a habit of either refusing packages or opening them even though they are addressed to SD. Too bad SD is going to live with her mom for at least another 2 years.

It is a shame, but I think this is going to extemely unwelcomed news. I hope we are still invited to her graduation.

THANKS AGAIN!
Ref

For those of you that remember me, I have some great news. SD just turned 18 and is going to graduate in a couple of months! I am so excited! DH has 2 CS payments left, which means only 2 months to actually have to deal with PBFH!

Another bit of good news is, I am pregnant. DH and I are so excited. We are both in our mid-thirties and feel like this is a new beginnning.

The advice I need is, how do you recommend DH tell SD? We live very far, so it can't be face-to-face. For those that don't know the story, BM is seriously crazy and will make life as difficult as possible.  Graduation is at the end of May but I don't know if I just want to show up a giant and spring it on her and her mom.

Anyone have experience with this one?

Thanks
Ref

After seeing parts of the funeral service yesterday on the news, an old questions about this case kept creeping back into my head.

WHO IS CAYLEE'S DAD?

With the lies that her mom seem to tell with every breath, I don't know if even the real dad knows he is the daddy.

It just saddens me that some man out there possibly missed the joy of having his daughter in his life for the short time she was on the earth. It also saddens me that this little girl might still be here if the daddy was know and in her life.

Sorry for the depressing topic, but I can't seem to stop wondering who this man is.

Ref

DH's long distance schedule is every other school break. DH's schedule says, for example he has Thanksging, Spring break, and MLK, jr. day on even years and BM has on odd. He also has half of Xmas break. He has the first half on even years and the last half on odd years.

He also has any weekend in their town so long as he gives BM 7 days notice of the visit.

His parenting time schedule has him scheduling all flights and unaccompanied minor fees split between him and the mom.

The transportation costs were addressed as a reduction in his child support.

BM kept trying to get DH to pay her directly. HA! That woman can't be trusted as far as I can throw her. He has his payment going through the courthouse and happily pays the $5.00 processing fee so he and the court has record of payments.

Remember this.... If she wants to contact you, eliminating the CS as an excuse will not likely change anything but her reason to contact you. BM has all sorts of dumb reasons to call DH. Everytime he changes things so she will no longer need to contact him about it, she finds another excuse.

Happy New Year!
Ref

What does the order say that extends the time your child is with the gparents?

One thing you might want to consider is meeting with a child therapist that specilizes in changes in custody. That way you can let them know that there is no need for the child to stay with the gparents because the child will have similar support when he lives with you. You can offer the court the contact information and let them know this is who you have met and will be working with. - Your insurance might cover such a visit OR the Dr. may offer a free consultation.

I would not recommend going Pro Se. Long distance is difficult enough with a lawyer. It isn't because of the facts of the case. It is all the procedural stuff that can really get you in a mess of you-know-what. This case sounds complicated enough.

If you have to, Florida does have some good pages to Family Law forms. Just google Family Law Forms and Florida and it will give you a decent listing.

Take care,
Ref