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Messages - Fueledbyjava

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Father's Issues / RE: GAL
« on: Jul 15, 2008, 09:37:53 AM »
 Well that is encouraging and discouraging! I guess I will just have to do my best, tell the truth and show her that I am a better suited parent for our child.

Father's Issues / GAL
« on: Jul 15, 2008, 06:23:07 AM »
The court has assigned a GAL to determine temp. custody, any suggestions or past experiences with a GAL would be greatly appreciated. I know this shouldn't matter but the GAL is a woman, again I am a father seeking full custody of my daughter.

I aplologize for the numerous grammatical errors in my last post, that's what I get for not taking typing class! Next time I will proof read before I hit the post button.

I am a father and you are right. My problem isn't with a child having time with both parents, my problem is with the courts automatically giving custody to the mother no matter how much better suited a father may be to have custody. when a father and a mother walk into a custody hearing the father automatically has the deck stacked against him. Theman has to do so much to prove that he would be a better parent and all the mother has to do is show up. I just wish the system was fair like it's supposed to be. obviously every case is different sometimes the mother is better suited. i just wish that the system would consider both parents equally and not make the burden of proof so immense for the paternal side while the maternal side essentially has to do nothing. It is supposed to be the best interest of the child but I believe that the court just wants a quick solution so they just give it t the mother even if the father can prove that he is justs as if not better suited to be the primary parent of his children.
   I believe every child has a right to have both parents in his or her life. It is a sad fact that there are mothers who do not allow fathers more than their court ordered access ( 4 days a month) solely for the reason that the more time a father gets with the child aand the more time he is caring and providing for that child the more likely said father is to ask for reduced child support. This greed at the expense of a child growing up with their father as a visitor in their lives is detrimental to a childs develpoment. i chance to say that there are thousnads of children growing up without their fathers in their lives soley because thier mothers will not allow thier fathers to see and spend time with their children. Alot of the time the children are unaware of the fact that their father has makes multiple attempts to be there for them, usually the mothers do not tell or lie to the children to make it look like the father just doesn't care. Again there are cases where this is true and I only speak from the standpoint of a father who is denied access to his children solely based on finacial gain for the hypothetical mother.

That's true but the courts are more concerned about a quick fix than really looking at waht is best for the children it is so much easier to just give the child to the mother and order child support from the normally higher income father. relegate him to 4 days a montha nd eventually he is fased out but the check never stops coming. Case dismissed.

PM'd back.

It just seems to me that the generic male stereotype that the courts use for most males doesn't fit today's father. Fathers today are involved in every aspect of their childrens lives, whereas I believe most courts look at men as simply breadwinners and they should only function in the respect of financially supporting mothers and children which is completely biased and unfair.

Father's Issues / STBX thinks she can tell me when I see my child.
« on: Jul 08, 2008, 01:19:40 PM »
Well, my stbx moved out last week and so far i have had our child one day out of eight. I have "asked" for her repeatedly but she believes that she can tell me when I am allowed to see her. I talked to my atty and they have filed the motion (see other post) which she and her atty objected to ( no surprise there). But he said legally all I can do is ask and voice my disagreement with her not "giving" me equal time with our daughter as if she has the right to make that call. Does anyone know what I could do? I still live in the marital home, pay all daycare costs etc. My atty says I can't call the police as there is no order in place specifying custody either way. I am her father and have been her primary cartaker for the last year while my STBX was consumed with her affair, she has no right to keep me from my daugter. I have tried to establish a schedule with her but she just blows it off and doesn't agree with me. I only want equal time with her. Help!

Father's Issues / RE: Are divorce courts anti dad .....
« on: Jul 08, 2008, 01:09:44 PM »
I don't think it is that dads want limited involvement with their kids its that courts basically give the kids to the mothers automatically and relegate fathers to 4 days a month. The mothers call all the shots with the children, the fathers are basically a paycheck and a visit every now and then, any extra time is subject to the whims of the mother. The kids get older they don't want to go somewhere else on the weekends or for a month in the summer, the fathers are basically phased out. The system is flawed and needs a complete overhaul. I can't tell you how different the fathewrs of today are from the fathers 20 years ago, and women are different too. Gone are the days of single income households and stay at home moms. I would almost say that there are more women out there that act like men in the home  and more men who act like the homemaker now, the world has changed so much in just the last ten years but the courts have not kept up.

Father's Issues / RE: Instanter motion for temporary custody
« on: Jul 07, 2008, 06:08:08 AM »
Did you expect this objection to joint physical custody ?  Yes.

Was there a reason given ? Not in the best interest of the child.

Does the ATTY have a leg up with the court ? Not as far as I know. Do you mean knows Judges, back room deals?

Was there a temporary visitation order ? No.

How soon wil she be disposed ? Do you mean deposed? I don't know what disposed meaqns in this situation. There hasn't been a hearing date set yet.

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