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Messages - c_alexander

#21
Although my faith in the system is all but shot Scuba I hope that you fight this. You take her to court and protest. If the judge is unreasonable and allows the move...EVEN AFTER NOTING THQAT YOU HAVE ALREADY MOVED ONCE TO BE A PART OF THIS CHILDS LIFE...then change venue. Move with them, right next door if you have to to send the clear message that YOU WILL BE A FATHER TO YOUR CHILD. Brother jobs, friends and all the BS this life has for us comes and goes in the blink of an eye. We only get one shot at being there for our kids though. Never give up, never give in, and never admit defeat. I wish you all the best man. All the best.
#22
Father's Issues / RE: I made it
Jul 27, 2005, 12:26:37 PM
Well not even here and week and the ex has started on me. Originally she agreed to pay for the gas from Indiana to Colorado because I was brining Jessie back and saving ehr the cost of a plane ticket. ($115 of gas vs $250 plane ticket). I did my part and saved all the reciepts and gave them to her and she refused to pay them stating that she would only pay for half because I was coming to Co anyways. Well this is the second time I have gotten stuck like that. The last time involved my ex not paying the unaccompanied minor fee for Jessie's plane ticket and sticking me with it.

After all that she then ahd the nerve to ask me to split the costs of Jessie's school supplies. I told her to take it out of the money she owed me. I can not fathom WHY people have to be so ignorant, selfish and greedy.

Ona lighter note I am settlign in well. I have been desperately seeking a job as my savings are dwindling. I have been able to get my daugher twice sinc eI have been here. On monday we took a trip to the summit of Pike's Peak. A daytrip that was pretty symbolic to me of the obstacles I have had to overcome and the mountains I have had to climb to be a good father to Jessie.

I have to say that I really believe I will love it here. Already I am enjoying the scenery, the ability to see and get Jessie anytime I want, and the people are so nice. Now if I can just get a job, meet some friends and the woman of my dreams I'll be cooking..haha

#23
I know that in Indiana papers must be filed before a move out of state and at that time the non-custodial parent has the option to agree or contest the move. My ex wife moved from Idiana to Colorado so I certainly know your pain. It would serve you well to find out what the laws are in your state in regards to a move like this. If she does not follow the proper procedures you may have more of a chance of stopping this or getting your child back. I will however warn you that it has been my own experience that judges not interfere in the mothers moving. They seem to think that it violates the mothers constitutional rights to keep the child from being torn away from it's father. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true more often then not. Other then that my only advice to you is to either move to be closer to your child ( at which point getting the courts to file a restraining order preventing the mother from moving anymore would be a good idea) or atempt to be a father from a distance. I personally could not be a good father from 1000 miles away and opted to leave behind all my friends, family and everything I knew to move to Colorado to be with my daughter.  I so feel your pain and wish there was more that I could do.
#24
Father's Issues / RE: Would You turn them in?
Jul 21, 2005, 08:50:53 AM
Your childs mother maybe teaching them that it is ok to lie, BUT that does not stop you from teaching your child that this kind of behavior is wrong in a way that doesn't outright tell your child the mother is bad, but allows the child to see the behavior is not right. With my daughter from an early age I taught her that we do not lie...ever, and that when we make a promise with each other that promise is always kept. It was a difficult concept for her at first but now that she is 10 I can see the benefits of these lessons. My daughter will tell me things she has done even bad things she knows she will get in trouble for because we are honest with each other. We can talk about things most fathers and daughter can't because of this bond we have built. Her mother has not been the most honest person and has done many things that weren't right or honest. Now my daughter is beginng to see this kind of behavior and knows that it is wrong, but at the same time I am not bad mouthing her mom. She is seeing this for herself. You may not always be able to control what is taught at your ex wifes house, and it is very frustrating at times, but you can control what you teach your child. Lead by example and your child will learn the truth on their own in time.

As for the school district thing I do know that in some areas you can chose which school your kid goes to. Be careful because it might end up where she gets caught and has to pay tuition and you get stuck with the bill. Never underestimate the poor judgement of the family law judges.

Good luck

#25
Father's Issues / I made it
Jul 20, 2005, 05:47:48 AM
Wanted to let everyone know I made it to Denver, CO late last night at 10pm local time after an agonizing 18 hour car trip....by the waynever drive across Kansas it SUCKS..lol

I am getting settled in my new home. I jsut wanted to let everyone know I made it here ok and my daughter Jessie is VERY happy I am here..as am I. Heck even my ex wife is glad I am here. I believe that with this move I will havea new opportunity to be even more involved in my daughtes life. My ex wife has been VERY cooperative so far...I think she is impressed tha I am here an can finall see jsut how serious I am about being involved.

Anyways thanks all so much for all of your help ad support. I would not be here witout yu all. I will get myself set up here and keep ou all informed on how things go.
#26
Father's Issues / We need unification
Jul 17, 2005, 06:45:47 PM
This is a inovative solution. I agree that we NEEd to get more people involved in fighting for parents rights. I thkn a BIG problem is getting everyone on the same page. Everyone has their own agenda and their own ideas about HOW to bring about change, but until EVERYONE is acting together we are simply waisting our breath. There are too many voices all saying different things but the same idea. Imagine a church choir all singing different hymns at the same time. I'd jsut be a bunch of noise, BUT if all the choir members sing the same song together the power of their voices is amplified. We need unification if we are every going to accomplish anything. If someone could acomplish that we'd could be a powerful force for change.
#27
Father's Issues / RE: Indiana Vehicle lien
Jul 17, 2005, 11:40:19 AM
All the information on my ribbons, how to order them and everything..including an updat eon my move and link to other noteably parents rights websites can be found at my website: http://ncpribbon.blogspot.com/

I should mention that on Tuesday July 19th, 2005 I am moving from Indiana to Colorado to be closer to my 10 year old daughter Jessie. ( This is one of the main reasons why I was selling the ribbons) so there may be a delay of a couple days in getting out any orders placed this week. I PROMISE though that they will get there.

To date I have sold 823 ribbons and have 113 left before I have to reorder. I had hoped to try selling these locally to gas stations, or out in fromnt of a store, street corner perhaps, but have not had time with my move being moved up more then 2 weeks. Hopefully I can get something set up in Colorado once I get there. The more of these that are out there the louder our voice will be. In my case I am fortuneate enough to be moving closer to my daughter and my ex wife and I have finally come to some common ground in working out the parenting of our daughter. I think abig part of it was my dedication to making this move happen. Made her realize jsut how serious I was in being a good father to Jessie. Jsut because my situation has worked itself out howeverI don't want anyone thinking that I am giving up the fight for parents rights. I still am VERY dedicated to seeing equality in family law.

At any rate if anyone needs to get in touch with me the best way for the first few weeks is going to be via my e-mail at: [email protected] please feel free to contact me if you need any help, have questions, or jsut want to comment.

Best wishes...my next post will be from Colorado !!!! woo hoo

#28
Father's Issues / RE: I can't understand you all
Jul 13, 2005, 06:54:53 PM
Thank you. I wanted to read some of these posts, but couldn't figure out what the heck they were talking about with the abbreviates. I still don't understand why people use them though...
#29
Father's Issues / RE: Indiana Vehicle lien
Jul 13, 2005, 06:52:17 PM
If I were NOT paying my CS that would be one thing, but I have voluntarily notified the prosecutors office EVERYTIME I have switched jobs, if I am not expecting a check that week, or as in my current case if I am moving. I am paying it and within the courts requirments. If the courts are satisfied with the way that I am paying my CS then WHY does the state want to step up and put a lien on a car my parents own, but is titled in my name? I'll tell you exactly why. Indiana as most states makes money off of child support collection. They recieve approxiamtely $8.00 in revenue for every $1 they collect thanks to Bill Clintons welfare reforms. If you don't believe me look it up yourself. The state cares not for the well being and safety of my child....they let my ex take her halfway across the country alienating me from my child. They ONLY care about cash flow. This new policy is the work of Mitch Daniels. A governor that will soon be out of office if he continues this kind of garbage.

Sadly it's not jsut Indiana that is greedy like this. The problem stems from politicians on the state and federal levels that have completely and totally lost touch with reality and the way true americans live their lives. Agree with me or not, I don't much care....sooner or later though you'll discover the truth for yourself. I now I have.  I have never been one to basht he government or think up unusual conspiracy theorys or anything like that. I was as patriotic as anyone else. It wasn't until I really started paying attention to what kinds of laws the government was passing and what kind of things were going on that I began to see the truth and it makes me sad. I wish people would understand that we don't have to live this way....but they never will.

Aside from my vent I figure that I am stuck with this car till it falls apart. With my move I will be able to purchase a vehicle in Colorado without Indiana being able to touch it, but thanks to these new laws I won't be able to sell this car legally until I get the arrears paid up, which will take YEARS.  ..and as I work myself to death and starve to pay off this unconstitutional debt my ex wife lives in a $500,000 home with all the comforts, 2 new cars, etc, etc. Makes a lot of sense.

#30
Father's Issues / I can't understand you all
Jul 13, 2005, 02:57:43 PM
I can't understand you all when you use abbgrevations like DH, SS, BM, DD and all that stuff. I want to help people with their questions, but come on are we too lazy to type out a name or as least LIST all the abbreiavtions? It is VERY confusing