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Hello Soc,

My ex-wife's 2003 W-2 identified 90k in (salary+ bonus) and another 80k gain/profit realized in sale of company (she works for) stock/stock options.  Judge said in California only the salary + bonus is used for CS purposes, stock sales are irrelevant.   Has this been your experience as well?

Thx

Bananas,

Follow up to Decent Dad's remarks.  Do you know who is really losing??  Not Mom.  Not Dad.  Those twins.   It is borderline evil to deny those twins equal opportunity to bond with both parents.

 Let's be honest here-only Mom and Dad know what is best for the twins.  GALs don't  know your kids, attorneys don't know your kids, judges don't know your  kids, nobody will every love those kids like Mom and Dad.  And both Mom and Dad know at a gut, intellectual and emotional level that those kids NEED both parents from day 1.  

In my case, youngest son was 6 mo old when we divorced, other son was 2.  Since Mom precluded overnights for youngest son until he was 2 (per therapist recommendation) guess which son and I have a much stronger bond?  People don't understand that 0-2 yrs is THE most important time in a parent-child relationship and you can handicap that severely if a parent is shut out of overnights.

Given the young age, 1- 2 overnights to start ramping to 50/50 at age 3 makes sense.

I wish your friend well and hope she will do the right thing for the kids, that is all that matters...not what Mom or Dad want

Hi Soc,

What is used for compensation reference in setting guideline support, specifically with sales professionals.  My offer letter of current employer details salary of X and that would be doubled if commissions are earned at target goal.  Given the tech meltdown, no commissions to be had and most recent year W-2 ....as well as year to date (thru June!) shows zero commissions.  What will judge most likely use for child support?  Thx-

Significant change in circumstances may not apply per below-

California Marital Settlements: October 2001 Summary

Legal Developments

Stipulated Custody Orders Modifiable Unless Clearly Intended as Final

On July 30, 2001, the California Supreme Court held in Montenegro v. Diaz (2001) 26 Cal.4th 249, 109 Cal.Rptr.2d 575, that "a stipulated custody order is a final judicial custody determination for purposes of the changed circumstance rule only if there is a clear, affirmative indication that the parties intended such a result." In the absence of such an indication of finality, a stipulated custody order may be interpreted as only temporary in effect, and therefore may be modified based on the child(ren)'s best interests, WITHOUT SHOWING A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES. The commentary in the Custody section of the program has been updated to reflect this ruling, and a new question has been added that allows you to insert a clause into the document specifying whether or not the custody provisions are intended to be a final custody determination. Qs 467, 470, 472 (new question), 475

Ex will not work with me on any of this as she already feels shortchanged by "only" seeing the kids on the existing 70% plan.  Currently all summers and holidays are split.  This is already ugly in the sense that I have to go to court to get ANY increased time.  She places a priority of her needs (to be with children ALL the time) vs. their needs (boys really DO need their Dads).  Now in court (actually FCS) hands to make the call.  Why on earth a court wouldn't want two boys to max time with BOTH loving parents' is something I'll never comprehend.

Socrateaser,  thanks for weighing in.  It's a sad commentary in this world of worthless dead-beat Dads that a court wouldn't max time of two young boys with both parents.

Kitty, thanks for the input.  I am fine with week on, week off or any combination thereof.  The much larger issue at hand is whether court will grant two boys ages 4 and 6 equal time with both parents.  I have been told San Diego courts are steadfast in the belief that frequent contact is great with both parents but majority of overnights should be with one parent for stability...instead of liviing in "two homes".  ...Especially when the children are doing extremely well in a 70/30 environment, no problems, parents are responsible, etc.   Just what I've heard from others that have been thru the ringer in similar cases in this area of California.

Petition follows, Petitioner=Mother

Child Custody/Visitation/Child Care

1.  The last mediation between the parties was on March 15, 2002, two years ago.  The children have grown and as such, a change in circumstances warrants a minor change to our current parenting plan.  The change will vastly improve the children's lifestyle, social exposure and educational growth and maximize time with both parents.  

2.  I am requesting this change to our current parenting plan for the reasons set forth below.
     
    a.  Petitioner's job requires extensive travel out of town on a weekly or nearly weekly basis.
   
    b.  I am working in a position that allows flexibility in my schedule and am requesting a new parenting plan to be implemented that allows me to provide care to the children instead of the Petitioner's nanny and increased weeknight visitation.

    c.  I am concerned about my youngest son (DOB: 4/24/00) lack of exposure to both scholastic and social situations which I believe contributed to his slow progression in speech.  He was recently diagnosed though his school as having a speech and language skills delay.  See attached Screening Report herwith as Exhibit A.

    d.  Both sons are isolated  at home in the care of the Petioner's nanny for extensive periods of time thoughout the day.  It is not conducive to remain at home watching video's or simply playing which I could be with them or they could be in a structured environment at school through the after school program.  See nanny time logs herwith as Exhibit B.

    e.  I am proposing the following parenting schedule:  Mondays and Tuesdays of every week with the children are with their Mother.  Wednesdays and Thursdays of every week the children are with me and then Friday Saturday and Sunday is alternated between the parents.

    f.  This schedule will work outstanding for the children for two reasons:  First, I would provide a better learning and social environment for the children or in the alternative, the children would attend an after school program providing them greater exposure to structure and the learning environment.  Secondly, Petitioner would be less burdened with them during her harried work week and not need to rely on the nanny to provide child care five days per week.

3.  I am proposing this change and that the mediator address the numerous days off from school for which I am not permitted to spend the extra time when I am available, i.e., teacher workdays, school holidays, school breaks-all to be split 50/50.  I am not requesting a major change in the children's daily routine but I am confident the change I am proposing will greatly benefit the children in many ways.

I have requested the court to modify existing parenting plan to 50/50 with kids to have equal time with both parents.  San Diego court will be hearing our case June 15.

1.  Ex wife and I live in San Diego, homes are 5 blocks apart, about a 5 min. walk or 2 minute drive.  We are both 5 minutes from pre-school, kindergarten, doctors, everything else in our sons' "world".

2.  We have two sons, ages 4 and 6 yrs., joint custody with Mom at 70% and I am at 30%.  

3.  Both of us are very loving, caring, responsible parents with a good co-parenting relationship.  There are no real "negatives" that could be attached to our parenting capabilities or character.

4.  I have made significant sacrifices, personally and financially so that I could maximize my time with our sons.  I have rejected career opportunities that would double my income because it would require extensive business travel or relocation.

5.  I have detailed visitation logs to support my heavy involvement with my sons, including doctor appointments, volunteering at school, taking to/from school, speech therapy, attending t-ball games, swim lessons, etc.  Logs demonstrate I have upheld my 30% visitation.

6.  Both sons are very well adjusted, happy, healthy with close bonds to both parents.

7.  Mother and I both travel on business but have always had the flexibility to work it around when we don't have the boys.  1-2 days/week on average is our business travel (each).

8.  My atty advised me to request a parenting plan that has Mother with the boys Monday/Tuesday, I would have them Wed/Thursday and we would alternate every w/e (Fri-Sunday) for a 50/50 split.  Atty mentioned that this schedule is what the court has been  recommending when granting 50/50 custody

9.  My work could accomodate the above plan but also can accomodate a "week on/week off" if that is what the court prefers.  I have read that in the case of small children courts typically do not like the kids going an entire week without seeing the other parent.

10.  San Diego Courts assign a mediator that interviews both parents for about 20 minutes each, then prepares a recommendation for the judge.  The judge almost always rubber stamps the recommendation.

11. These are the pertinent facts, I would be interested in hearing your take on what my chances are for getting the 50/50....and if not 50/50 what the outcome is most likely to be.  Also anything specific I should provide the mediator (in addition to the detailed logs) that would help.

Immediately download and use on a daily basis the time tracker log from Sparc website.  It's easy to use and makes an impact with family court services who will be making a recommendation on parenting plan to the court.   I guarantee you will get the 50/50 IF:

a.  Dad can demonstrate his time, energy, love, and responsibility as
     a very capable parent.

b.  Dad lives within a 2-3 min drive to Mom's house (this is key)
c.  Dad brings a photo album to the FCS mtg. full of great pics/memories
d.  When FCS asks Dad if Mom is a good parent, "yes, no concerns"
e.  3-6 months of detailed logs are submitted to the court  
f.   Dad can address how his plan for child care when he is working

 Also, be prepared with three 50/50 parenting plans to review with the FCS counselor during your meeting (do not disclose these before the mtg).  One of these should be slightly favorable to the Mom.  Then it's a win-win and here's why:

1.  If she accepts one of the three plans, you've got your 50/50.
2.  If she rejects all three, FCS will ask for her recommended plans.
3.  She won't have any- she'll stick her heels in the mud and insist on 70/30 or whatever.

4.  And it will all come across as her unwillingness to find a solution
     and your good faith efforts to work it out.

5.  FCS won't like the "attitude" which is what they are really looking for.
     The "selfishness" of the Mommy will help ensure a 50/50 recommend.