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Your post is encouraging....my court appointed mediation is tomorrow with hearing end of the month.  I have heard that the mediators almost never recommend 50/50 for fathers unless there the parents agree to it and/or there are serious parenting problems with Mom.  Neither exist in my situation so I am hoping and praying the court believes that max time with two good parents is better for kids than a primary and secondary home.

dcurtain, thanks for the input.  Did you ex agree to the 50/50 or did you have to go to court?  What was your previous % split   Cheers,

Congrats....I'm fighting the same battle so am curious as well about your specific arrangement.  I have mediator date next week.  What % parenting time were you requesting and what exactly did the mediator support?  Did you ex fight you on the add'l time- what was her proposal to resolve the parenting time issue? Got two terrific boys too albeit younger than yours..

Being a lousy co-parent doesn't offset being a great Dad.  She needs to demonstrate you've been a lousy Father to prevail (abuse, negligence, etc.)   Absent that I don't see how she has a case

Where do you live?  I wish I had that pro 50/50 judge....

Can relate with you on the money issue but can't put a price on not having my son....

Sounds like she had a pathetic atty in round 1.  Getting Dad to pay half on child care, pre-school is standard...been there

Welcome.  I am currently going the other direction, trying to get visitation increased of my 4 yr. old son to 50%.  Trust me, it's much more difficult to get increase later vs. what you got from the outset.  Did you ex agree to the 50/50 or did the court recommend this?  You definitely need an atty, don't even think about going solo.  If you have good documentation from past year demonstrating your parenting abilities you should be in good shape.  To get visitation decreased, she's got to have proof you've been a lousy Dad-and "circumstances have changed significantly from a year ago." What were your atty's thoughts?

I think that is a critical factor...and one I don't know how to control.  We have an excellent relationship but given the stakes she's not stupid....she can say whatever she wants and not much a Daddy can do about it...it's he said vs. she said and all that does is convince the FCS mediator there really IS conflict!

Thanks for the input.  From previous experience with this court, FCS has all the power....judge rubber stamps it if it looks reasonable.  Given both parents have proven to be competent, responsible and involved...seems to be this comes down to whether a court feels it's best for two young kids to have max time with both parents or better for them to have one primary home, one secondary.   I have heard California is very pro 50/50 parenting-IF both parents are solid.  We'll see how supportive San Diego is.............of this concept.

PeanutsDad/All, pls weigh in here...thx

I have requested the court to modify existing parenting plan to 50/50 with kids to have equal time with both parents. San Diego court will be hearing our case June 15.  Last FCS was 2 yrs ago when boys were 2 and 4.

1. Ex wife and I live in San Diego, homes are 5 blocks apart, about a 5 min. walk or 2 minute drive. We are both 5 minutes from pre-school, kindergarten, doctors, everything else in our sons' "world".

2. We have two sons, ages 4 and 6 yrs., joint custody legal and physical custody with Mom at 70% and I am at 30%.

3. Both of us are very loving, caring, responsible parents with a good co-parenting relationship. There are no real "negatives" that could be attached to our parenting capabilities or character.

4. I have made significant sacrifices, personally and financially so that I could maximize my time with our sons. I have rejected career opportunities that would double my income because it would require extensive business travel or relocation.

5. I have detailed visitation logs to support my heavy involvement with my sons, including doctor appointments, volunteering at school, taking to/from school, speech therapy, attending t-ball games, swim lessons, etc. Logs demonstrate I have upheld my 30% visitation.

6. Both sons are very well adjusted, happy, healthy with close bonds to both parents.

7. Mother and I both travel on business but have always had the flexibility to work it around when we don't have the boys. 1-2 days/week on average is our business travel (each).

8. My atty advised me to request a parenting plan that has Mother with the boys Monday/Tuesday, I would have them Wed/Thursday and we would alternate every w/e (Fri-Sunday) for a 50/50 split. Atty mentioned that this schedule is what the court has been recommending when granting 50/50 custody

9. My work could accomodate the above plan but also can accomodate a "week on/week off" if that is what the court prefers. I have read that in the case of small children courts typically do not like the kids going an entire week without seeing the other parent.

10. San Diego Courts assign an FCS mediator that interviews both parents for about 20 minutes each, then prepares a recommendation for the judge. The judge almost always rubber stamps the recommendation.

11. These are the pertinent facts, I would be interested in hearing your take on what my chances are for getting the 50/50....and if not 50/50 what the outcome is most likely to be. Also anything specific I should provide the mediator (in addition to the detailed logs) that would help.

FTK, thanks much for this, great resource.