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Messages - dipper

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Custody Issues / Re: Child Support
« on: Dec 17, 2019, 07:13:28 AM »
Thanks Ocean.  I have not tried that.   I spoke with the child support enforcement agency just now and they said they typically wait 30 to 45 days and then send a compliance letter stating to the employer that they are in noncompliance and will be held liable for any amounts they are not sending in.   I am just defeated with this process.  It began in April...was finally made into an order in September.  As soon as a garnishment was sent out, he quit his job.   This is against my son.   And I will file in court against him myself if need be.   

I would file against his employer in a heart beat if I could.   

Custody Issues / Child Support
« on: Dec 16, 2019, 12:31:38 PM »
If an employer refuses to garnish an employees wages for child support, would you be able to take the employer to court?  I know years ago with Socrateaser's advice, we took an employer to court for a garnishment they refused to uphold and the employer had to pay the portion they did not withhold.  I am wondering if you can do that for child support.   

Visitation Issues / Visitation - a lot has went on
« on: Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM »

We have primary custody since January 2018.  BM and her mother shared joint legal with us and had visitation.  Son had supervised visitation with no set times.   Things went on, I filed a show cause.  BM filed for sole custody.  Maternal grandmother was supportive of this and willing to come off of order completely.    During this time, bm was dating, planned on moving in with him, got pregnant on purpose - she had cystic fibrosis and it was not managed well.   She did not do what she needed to do.  Her health deteriated quickly.  Went to court in February- her lawyer told her to drop it.  She had notified everyone that she would be moving in December - into a trailer in the man's parent's yard and it still was not ready in February and no date in site.   Her attorney told our attorney - she will never move and she cannot take care of a child.   

So, an agreement was reached instead.  We dropped show cause.   She dropped sole custody.   We took Wednesdays out of visitation and some was altered to make up for that.   Maternal grandmother was not named in new visitation changes.   ONLY the mother was named for weekend visitation and 4 weeks during summer.    Grandmother signed the document.   I have emails from bm stating that when she moved child would be with her, living with her - nights with her.

BM had the baby three months early in March.   BM died in mid April.   Apparently a bacterial infection set up.  They let us know nothing of how serious her condition was until the night before she died.   It is awful...and we truly feel for everyone.   GD is doing okay....we already had her in therapy.  We work on a memory book.

But the situation now........the maternal grandmother, in our opinion, does not have the same rights she did prior to that amendment in February.   We have filed for a clarification from the court.   We have also filed to have the joint legal decision making taken away as we have never gotten along.  I found case law that cited that it would be stressful on a child to make a situation that requires cooperation and communication where none exists.   Anyway, talked with GAL and she agrees about joint legal.  She was not direct about visitation, but did ask if she could send our proposal of what we would offer to the grandmother - which kind of implies something to us. 

However, grandmother had approached her ex (bm's dad) within days of bm passing away asking him to do something about us having custody.  He said she also approached his family.    She has now made a bedroom for gd and her brother when he gets out of the hospital.   

Our son, who has supervised visitation, has been an issue for us.   He does not want to pay any child support and calls us money greedy.   I have filed through DCSE to let them handle it.    He has never acted so mean before.   We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth.  He called my husband out of his head and paranoid.   We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason.    He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment.  But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.   

The part with the maternal grandmother - I expect she will file for sole custody.  It is typically their way to wait until the day of court or the day before to file.   

Son - I don't know whether to file to have even the supervised visits stripped until he goes through treatment and tests clean for a certain amount of time.  Or just give these facts to the judge and let her do whatever she does.

Custody Issues / Re: Legal authority
« on: Nov 26, 2018, 08:09:23 PM »
We held a child study through our school district.   The child study team felt it was more of a settling in issue.  Yet, they continued to send home behavior contracts and daily reminders of her bad behavior.  I went through the pediatrician at that point. 

At the end of the pediatric appointment the only thing for sure is we are in agreement on counseling.  However, mother will not answer if she will pay anything toward it.   And more than likely we are not going to agree on a counselor.  Mother is adamant that she has to agree or it cannot happen. 

My attorney said to take child to counselor who can see her soon and that is best for our household and let mom know.  She can come if she chooses to. 

But, now we are looking at our case being pushed back.   Mother sent certified letter last week that she is moving in with her boyfriend on the day of trial.  Now, GAL says time is needed to investigate new home and the occupants living there. 

Custody Issues / Legal authority
« on: Nov 26, 2018, 06:43:15 AM »
Situation:   Grandparents have primary custody for the past 11 months after sharing joint custody for 3 years.   It has been very difficult with joint legal as parties do not agree on anything.   Mother does not respond to important matters, but argues once a decision is made.   Public pre-k, mother argued but did not respond when it was brought up.   Mother had planned on sending child to public pre-k at age 3.

Now:  Child has had trouble adjusting and behavior issues.  We don't know how child would have reacted had mother not told her two days before school began that she and boyfriend were fixing up place for all of them to live in.    Mother filed for sole custody days later.  Child had to visit with GAL, whom she remembers from last year.   

Child study referral was made by speech therapist and I took the opportunity to file a referral for concerns with handwriting and behavior as well.    Mother attended child study and used the time to down us and try to reference everything as in some way our fault.   She fought any suggestions we made.  She threatened to leave the room more than once, but never budged.

Child's behavior worsened.   We emailed mother about possible assessment for ADHD and therapy. Mother did not respond.   The next week, when assessment was done, her only input was asking if teacher asked or if we asked for it.  I had been plain that I had requested and reminded her of email.  She claims she responded but will not forward response.    She is in agreement that therapy is necessary, but wants it closer to her.   I am okay as long as it is not someone she sees.   I want unbiased, local, and available soon, and someone that has been referred.  The place she has mentioned she says she knows nothing about.   The one referral I have had that can see child soon is over an hour away from mother.  Mother says we have to agree.

Okay....went to pediatric appointment and mother instantly went on attack, threatening to end meeting until her lawyer could attend....asking if I knew what HIPPA was.....she was stepping out if I did not stop.  Honestly, the doctor asked about family history and I said dad and mother have ADHD/ADD.   When mother spoke up that she would answer for herself, not me..  I did ask that we focus on child, but said I would let her answer for herself and I would stop.   I repeated this a few times as she continued to threaten the lawyer and HIPPA....

I feel she does these threats to take over the meeting.  Professionals do not want to be involved in legal matters.   They baby her after that to calm her.   She disagreed with everything I said; and made it about discipline style again.  She was rude and so was her mother.

They are not going to pay anything toward counseling.  There is no order for them to pay or to say they do not have to pay.   We have joint legal - if she is not going to pay, would I be within my rights to take child where is local for us and we have heard good things about?

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 19, 2018, 09:31:16 AM »
We have not hired an attorney for this matter yet.  I am trying to look into how to file this myself.

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 08, 2018, 10:40:25 AM »
I will look into that.  The judge who awarded us with primary was a circuit court judge after we appealed from J&D.  Now we will be back in front of that J&D judge.

Custody Issues / Re: Custody Battle
« on: Sep 06, 2018, 06:46:09 PM »
Yes, here all you have to do is file. 

Custody Issues / Custody Battle
« on: Sep 06, 2018, 03:26:07 PM »
We have primary custody of gd as of January.  GAL and judge cited multiple issues with bm.  No one thought any change was possible.  Then she got a new boyfriend.  Someone has her under control and giving her the words to say.  She suddenly is not ill, not staying in ERs, not talking gangsta or flipping out. 

She has filed for sole legal and physical custody.  She is taking coparenting courses and now invited us to join her.  That class is court ordered.  I took mine last year and that helped us in court .

Two days before gd began prek, bm told her that she was coming to live with her and bf..  Gd is acting up in school.  Bm blames us saying it's a lack of household rules.

I really don't know how to fight this battle.

Custody Issues / Re: Show cause?
« on: Apr 24, 2018, 04:10:24 AM »
That is probably what I will do.   I just.....I don't think he is a good person.   He is 34 and seems very immature.  He calls people "retarded" and "gay".  His advice to mom when she was lonely back in January before they started dating was to "Go get drunk."  He has an 11 year old child and within two weeks of mom dating him, she was posting videos with lots of pics of them in bed together in his house.  Pics of his daughter riding around with them.  Mom spends all of her time over there.  And I believe there are other adults in the house too - his parents.

On top of that, he is willing to lie and go along with her against a court order.   And mom has asked for one of her full weeks she gets to be in May....conveniently right after she introduces child to him. 

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