Messages

Nine weeks today.  No ruling still...

Thank you. I am very stressed.   We know the mother has an opioid addiction as we had hospital records that stated her drug seeking behavior over and over.  But the file came in late so her lawyer said they did not have time to review and it was deemed inadmissible.   Now we can never use it and she knows we are on to her.  Yet, child still is in her care with her on high level pain meds often.

Has anyone experienced a lengthy delay in a ruling on a custody case?  Our case was heard three weeks ago - it took 12 hours in one day.  Closing arguments were sent in by email three days later.  GAL was in our favor (grandparents).   We crossed the parental presumption hurdle.  I have no idea what can be taking this long - we are only told that the judge is backed up and very careful in her rulings.  I am very stressed at this point. 

Thank you both for your responses.  The GAL did discuss some issues with the other side.  Nothing has been discussed with us as far as concerns.  We do know the GAL feels our case was not properly represented previously.  Next is the home visit.  We had met with an attorney who told me to give a copy of my notebook to GAL, so we did.  We have since retained that attorney.

I have tried to research the role of the GAL and it appears that it varies from state to state and even court to court.  Some courts have clearly defined rules - others don't.  My question is - can the GAL legally share your concerns with the other side?    This would allow the other side to correct issues prior to court and seems unfair to me....

I had felt good about our last attorney initially but then beginning in January it was as if he had taken on too many cases.  Never had time to talk, seemed to blow us off.  Once court was postponed in  February due to my husband's health, we only saw him one time prior to court in March.  He really did not give us any solids as to what he would be using in court - though we pushed for it - and he said he would try to get the medical information in that the other side filed to quash.   He told us he would take at least 1/2 day to review all of our material. 


On day of court, he was extremely unprepared.  The only thing he came prepared with was what he had been harking on for months and what we had told him was not enough.  He didn't even hark on that hard enough.  During court, he kept checking his cell phone and rubbing his hands over his eyes as if he was very distraught.  Not a good sign for us.  He did not object to them bringing in material that was not relevant to the case and dated prior the last custody order.  In fact, he only objected once and quickly admitted that he did not have grounds for an objection.


Okay, we have filed an appeal as we were meeting other attorneys to get their input on the case but you have to file within 10 days.   One attorney we met, we have heard excellent stuff about - but he is super expensive and really just a grumpy old man who is mean.   What we found out when we met him made us understand a lot  - this attorney is one of the attorneys representing our last attorney.  Our last attorney was with his wife at Christmas, but they have since split and it is very ugly.   The attorney - M. E.  - told us that our then attorney had been unable to devote the time he should have as he was so deep in his own problems.  Yes - told us this!  He also informed us that our then attorney was being represented by our opponent's law firm!   The opposing side's attorney's firm was co-counsel for our attorney.  They had worked out a deal about medical reports before ever coming into court and we were never informed about it.  Nothing was used.....


We got a bill today from our then-attorney and he charged ( at least he was honest) exactly 1 hour for trial prep.   I would say it was less than that.....but one hour was hugely insufficient.  He charged us for 5 hours court time and I really think we will call him on that.  He was unprepared, was on his cell seemingly upset, and during a break went outside fussing with someone on the phone - probably the soon-to-be-ex. 


I am considering filing a complaint especially now that we have a bill that shows that he did not adequately prepare. 

I would definitely consult another attorney or file a complaint against this one again.  Has he provided a reason for wanting to stay the attorney of record?

In court yesterday, the other side produced a running text between what appeared to be our oldest son (not the baby daddy) and my husband.  My husband was charged with marijuana possession 44 years ago and that is a felony.  In the text messages, oldest son was attempting to get my husband to take guns to pawn for him.   The implication was that my husband had did this and it was illegal for him to be in possession of the guns.


The text messages were confusing as they involved both my husband and the baby daddy.   There were no phone numbers on the text messages showing who they were between.  At the time I was unclear about origination and thought they had somehow got the texts off of my son (baby daddy) phone...and she had bought him that phone and it was all on her account.  However, I don't know if that gave her the right to invade his privacy....


But....we have been thinking...those conversations were clearly between my husband and oldest son.  They are even discussing our youngest son at times.  We are thinking one of the times she came over here, she was laying around inside while we were outside and went through my husbands phone.....


Isn't that illegal? 

The other side had a good attorney.  You could tell they had rehearsed every question and their answer.  They submitted texts trying to make me look hard to get along with as far as the mother telling me what to do.  They had fluff but nothing that showed any impact on child.  Mom and grandma lied a lot... Often stating we said bad things that they had actually said.  Quick to point out I am only a stepgrandma.

Our attorney would never even tell us exactly what he was presenting.  There was no question prepping at all and no follow up during questioning.  I feel we left out a lot.  He was solely relying on the dirty house pics to win the case.    Of course they painted her as completely competent.

The judge did say we have completely equal ground as parents because the other side questioned that.  Even as a stepgrandma I have as much rights as everyone.  She said it is clear that neither parent is able to take care of child without support.  But she did not see a material change in circumstances.

We can appeal but I do not see it doing any good.  I would not want the same attorney.  We have picked two bad attorneys....This one had seemed to know his stuff but he replied too heavily on her living in filth.  He did not go after her poor choices with friends and drinking.  He did not even attempt to get her medical files entered...I had stressed to him to show her poor choices were prevalent but he only focused on four months....

That is the judge's final decision.  Doesn't see a material change in circumstances.