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Messages - dipper

#871
Father's Issues / Need Serious Guidance
May 20, 2004, 08:47:09 PM
Hi, I am a single mom.  But, the problem I need help with is my fiance's.  He has had custody of one son and joint custody of his youngest for three years.  The oldest is 18 now.  The youngest 12 1/2.  We are to get married in July.  Now, his ex is moving over 2 hours away, taking away the joint status.  The child does not want to go.  The town they are moving to is high crime and has population in the thousands where we live in a town of 500.  The child is ADHD as well.

The ex sent my f a letter basically saying 'this is my piece of furniture and this is what you have to do to see MY furniture again.'  Really, she acts like she owns the child.  Well, f sent her a note back saying he would be seeking custody and why.  He also suggested that if the judge does rule in her favor, that her terms are unacceptable.  She flipped out.....wants to settle out of court - but still under her terms.

In three years, she hasnt did anything with the child.  F and his sons all brought this up to her the other day and of course now, one week before trial, she is being all sweet and renting games/movies for the child and wanting to take him to the movies.  Now, mind you, she has had her fun for three years.....this is the first she has tried to let the child have fun.

Even though they are joint custody, f has had to pay support, plus insurance, plus 75% copays because she would not work but a few hours a week. In three years, he has never received a receipt or copy of a bill for medical payments, she simply writes it on a paper and he is supposed to anty up.  The judge has allowed this.  (I have been divorced for 8 years and ALWAYS provide my ex with copies of the bills.)

F says the judge always ignores him and listens to her.....I believe in equality for all....I dont believe every woman is the poor little victim.  What can f do to put his feelings before the judge without being shut down?  And can he refuse to pay medical until she gives him proof of the expenses?  Is there any kind of form he can fill out detailing why he is the more stable environment for the child?