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The fact that you offered Saturday might show that you were not entirely unreasonable -- on the other hand, if your reason for refusing visitation, for the 3 days was simply a knee jerk reaction, rather than based on some articulable reason, then you were not reasonable.

I stated
1. Im am concerned about ralph smoking pot in front of our daughter, I have sent him letters on that certified return recipt I have it with me if you would like to see it..

2. I stated he did not have a room for her and that sharing a room with his 15 year old stepson was inappropriate with her being 13.

3. I stated Ralph has not seen her or spoken with her on the phone in over a year I think jumping in head first to a weekend is unfair to child .. I think if he got her every Saturday for a month then a weekend would be reasonable


BUt the only way to insure that she was not sleeping in the room with him and that Ralph was not usingh in front of Theresa would be for me to purchase her a cell phone and should either of these things come up that she call me and I pick her up and that would end that weekend period...


that is when he said he would put me in jail .. DH's attorney has accepted taking this on for me but the pretrial is set and with it being this wed. and me getting notice on Friday .. he has said I have to go to this without him as he will be in circit on a big trial and cannot be there ...


so what do I need to expect?

sent out letter we went to court.. his attny asked me if I could speak with him as we were leaving court room.. he says " my client wants her this weekend" I said Saturday sure .. he said no fri-sun I said not at this time he said fine I will put you in jail .. now I have been served with a show cause and today I got a notice for pretrial for the show cause..

what is pretrial? show cause states " mom is denying reasonable visitation"

That is why you are the man!!!!!

Thank you so much you are a great help

I got first response back from attny:

Dear Skye,
I am in reciept of your letter dated 12-22-04, which I have passed on to Ralph. I agree that your requests are extremely reasonable and have advised my client to abide by them.  sincerely
                                                      *******


ok so he never shows up to see her then today I get this from his attny:

Dear Skye,
I had a chance to meet with ralph concerning your letter and while I agree with some things in the letter, I have a counter proposal concerning visitation. the standard or minimum visitation that my client would be entitled to is to have all of the natural holidays split equally between the parents. My client would be entiled to visitation every other weekend. aditionally he would like his daughter a minimum of 3 weeks during the summer. If you are agreeable to the weekend visitation  consisting of 6pm on Friday to 6pm on Sunday, I can write up a consent order for your review and endorsement and noone has to go to court on March 7th . let me hear from you sincerely  *****




OK I do not have a problem with him getting that in time but:

 1.he has refused to speak to her in over a year

 2.this is not the first time he has hopped in and out of her life its the 5th of record

3. There is drug use by him and it has happened in fromt of child

4. there are not enough bedrooms for her to stay over unless she shares bedroom with his 15 yr old stepson ( note our child is 13 )

5. there is no standard or minimum visitation standard in virginia.

6. If he wants to see her so bad how come he hasn't tried to see her for what I have agreed to until court..


but how do I write this up and not look like an a@@...please help me

thank you you are wonderful

this is my response ...ok or not ok?


> Wednesday, December 22, 2004
>
> Dear Mr. *****,
> I am writing to you in regards to the MTA visitation I have received from
your client Ralph *****, Since Ralph has refused to even speak to our
daughter in almost a year this MTA came as quite a shock to me.
>
> I am willing to offer the following until court.
>
> Ralph can pick Theresa up every other Saturday he may pick her up at 12
noon and return her at 8pm.begining Jan. 1st 2005. I am willing to offer the
same time for Christmas day. If he should be more than 30 minutes late he
will forfeit that day.
>
> I am asking that he agree not be under the influence of intoxicating
liquor or any controlled substance (e.g. drugs) during any period of time
that he is to be with the Theresa.
>
> I am asking that he agree not to allow Theresa to ride in a car unless the
driver has a valid driver's license, auto insurance, and seat belts.
>
> I am asking that he  agree to  restrain from making negative statements
about me or any person in my Family  and  that he not allow ANY other person
to do so in her presence.
>
> I am sure you will agree that these are reasonable requests for the best
interest of our child.
>
> Sincerely,

MY ex and I just went to court on his back CS..he has not spoken to his daughter in over a year..told her he would not talk to her because mom was trying to put him in jail...


We had an issue with the last visitation ( over a year ago ) where he was smoking pot in front of daughter and she came home and told me about it..I wrote him the following


" I know I have absolutely no control over what you do in your home, However we have a bright beautiful 12 year old child who is ADHD and believes her Father can do no wrong, She has told me you were smoking pot in front of her and I would like to let you know that I feel you are setting a very bad example for her"


so today I got served with a MTA the order asking for visitation portion to be changed from reasonable visitation a specific visitation yet nothing is stating exactly what he wants...he stated on MTA "Mother will not let visitaion stand"

since he has an attny and I do not should I send an offer until the hearing or just wait ..he has  made no effort to call or ask for anything..and I have no number to reach him

maybe I should be more specific, children are 6&10.

Mom has no overnights for abuse conviction issues as well as some other safety issues ...What would be fair to offer for the christmas vacation?

Soc,

I need an idea about holidays ..if the NCP is not allowed overnights by the courts what is holiday schedule that could be used is there a normal?

****Then, you want to allege that she is bi-polar, that this is a danger to the children, and ask that she be evaluated by an objective therapist****

This point was already proven to the Judge and the GAL..

I guess what I am trying to find out :
Is there a way to file something that would prevent her from taking them to a psych. again prior to our hearing? So that she cannot threaten them and scare them anymore?