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in Aug. we went to court because mom wanted to take them for an independent psychological evaluation.. we said it would be ok if it was someone who neither party had seen before:

Judge denied who she requested. and clearly stated that 1. she had to provide the name and number of DR to DH and his atty. and GAL 2. They all had to be in agreement PRIOR to her scheduling a visit. 3. she had to meet with their nortmal DR . 4 she had to inform us of all visits and times.


Well thursday she took them to one, NO she did not inform us at all the boys did when they got home... we have asked her by email for 3 nights the name and number of the person and she refuses to email us back AND the boys say they are going to see them EVERY thursday????

They have had the same Psycholigist and med DR for 3 years .. AND she has NEVER met with him .. she asked for a continunence as she told jusge he would not speak with her and she wanted to meet with him ...she made 2 appointments with the boys DR and failed to show up for both of them..


she does not want the DR to speak with DH or the boys DR because she knows the DR will find out she is BI polar and refuses treatment... what can we do the next hearing date available is november when we already go.

what can we do? anything?

Father shall have primary Physical custody, with mom
enjoying visitation as follows: every Thursday from 8am to 8pm and every other saturday from 9am - 8pm.

Father shall have child tested for ADHD and share the results with mom....


That is ALL it says as to custody or DRs...

Now child was tested 2 years ago and has been on meds for a year and a half.. she is demanding now to take him to a different dr, refusing his name to dad and wanting to do this on our time ... she says its joint custody and he HAS to do it.... the order stated Joint and she appealed and the apellent (sp?) judge wrote it out this way.  

" Father shall have primary Physical custody, with mom enjoying visitation as follows"

Is this Joint custody?

Can Mom make appointments on time that is not hers and demand we meet her halfway to do it?

Children have had same Dr's for 4 years and mom has never once called or talked to any of them.

could you explain to me how I need to go about that ..

both cases at same court house different judges ..
it is my ex who is loosing time due to her tardiness...

It has been reset for november.. so yes any thoughts on laws that could help would be great

My questions are:
1. How does one show the important of positive change in their life(divorce and remarriage)
§ 20-124.3. Best interests of the child; visitation.

In determining best interests of a child for purposes of determining custody or visitation arrangements including any pendente lite orders pursuant to § 20-103, the court shall consider the following:

1. The age and physical and mental condition of the child, giving due consideration to the child's changing developmental needs;

2. The age and physical and mental condition of each parent;

3. The relationship existing between each parent and each child, giving due consideration to the positive involvement with the child's life, the ability to accurately assess and meet the emotional, intellectual and physical needs of the child;

4. The needs of the child, giving due consideration to other important relationships of the child, including but not limited to siblings, peers and extended family members;

5. The role which each parent has played and will play in the future, in the upbringing and care of the child;

6. The propensity of each parent to actively support the child's contact and relationship with the other parent, including whether a parent has unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation with the child;

7. The relative willingness and demonstrated ability of each parent to maintain a close and continuing relationship with the child, and the ability of each parent to cooperate in and resolve disputes regarding matters affecting the child;

8. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of reasonable intelligence, understanding, age and experience to express such a preference;

9. Any history of family abuse as that term is defined in § 16.1-228; and

10. Such other factors as the court deems necessary and proper to the determination.

The judge shall communicate to the parties the basis of the decision either orally or in writing.

2. DO the courts see his parents and extention of him with regards to time?

****yes in va they do

3. He claims that me being a SAHM is not a good thing for his daughter to see, why??

yes and no it depends on the judge .. If you are willing to tell me what county I could give you some idea..

OK We have custody mom has visitation, Dad works so judge has obligated me to transport children to halfway which I was ok with but she is always late 45min to 1 hour and it is strongly affecting my ex's visits with his kids SO...

My ex and I discussed it and he said that although I am legally obligated to make them available and he understands that our children should not play a factor .. but by obligating me he feels our children should become a factor since it is affecting our kids as well...

He suggested asking that she start picking up again at house and that he do the same .. but I cannot find anything that will help in presenting this to judge on Monday any thoughts would be helpful.

PS I am in Virginia

d) The children shall not be physically disciplined. (seems a little too restrictive).

there have been several abuse issues in the past, until she learns to discipline without abusing we feel it is best, The psycholigist feels physical punishment at this point would make the situations we are dealing with worse, due to the fact that this child has been abused.



g ) Neither parent shall make derogatory comments about the
other parent,stepparents, or stepsiblings or allow anyone else
to do similarly in the child's presence.

***The parents


h) Neither parent shall allow or encourage the child to make
derogatory comments about the other parent, stepparents, or
>stepsiblings. (repeated)?

*** the children being told to say things when they come back from visits


b) Communications between the parents shall be Limited to
issues relating to the children, and to changes to the
parenting plan. (not sure what the point of this is).

Because email is to discuss the kids not ..

there has to be a buisness like manner with communications, its not to throw stones or be uglty to one another this is a very high conflict situation with a lot of anger still on both sides... I will not say she is the only one at fault on this area...but there needs to be communication for the kids about the kids

I hope that I did not upset you as that was not at all my intent. I only knew about this after my attny pointed it out to me a few years ago...there is more on it in TGB's links for VA under the access to school and medical records section....

This is in the state of Va.

What I need basically is for you to review my wording..If you can, or will.
Thanks a bunch

skye