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Topics - gipsy

#1
How would the state of Wash Child support find a Bank account , Do they have to know what bank the NCP Banks at? or can they do a state wide search ?
  I am the NCP , Self employed in construction , DSHS Took My last dollar and now I will have bounced check fee's ,
   I need to be able to Bank Untill I at least have a try at a modification , My Income is cut in Half ,
#2
Here is the scene Went to court and got the orders all straight .  I am the Dad , And at that time mom had health insurance . And filled out declarations stating that she had insurance and it was uneccessary for me to get a credit for having it because she has it , according to dept of child support  ,Mom has dropped her insurance with out notifying me , And has now asked for the dept of child support to enforce the child health insurance provision wich  Asks if I can get health insurance for less that 125$ per month , Does any one know how this works , Obviously there are many types of health insurance , Some are just major medical . Some are The big picture with  little deductible and everything is coverd , Any one have any input on this ,
#3
Dear Socrateaser / What to file
May 09, 2006, 10:29:07 PM
 Dear Socrateaser :'
    Custodial Mom Has signed a release for  My son's counseling records :
   The counselor wrote me a letter that stated that Mom Released these records , And a release to communicate with me In writing only , And thats why 'she will not talk to me on the phone or respond to my calls or set an appointment with me' ,
   I disagree ,  I would like to dialog with the counselor ,
   My son is six Years old , there is no restrictions in the parenting plan .
    I called her atty and asked if He thought it would do any good to send him info And have it forwarded to her through him ,
  He said they "haven't talked for a Looong time ", with the extra   ooo's as written in long And said " I was talking to the choir " And that "you should talk to her "
   1: What do I file to get the Custodial Mom to give me a complete release of counseling records , And ability to talk to counselor in person About My son ?
 
Any other thoughts about the atty saying that. like maybe she didn't pay the bill ?
 
  any one that has filed this I wash state I also posted on general issues
#4
Dear Socrateaser / couseling
Feb 06, 2006, 12:36:31 AM
I am non custodial dad , Mom Has been taking son to couseling and has not told me any thing about this ,
   My son has no problems that need to be addressed by a counselor ,
 Mom is a manipulative , And got the GAl and Psych evaluater to believe things that are not true about me By outright lying False allegations ,and trickery . And in the past my son told me" Mom kept him awake all night "to get him to tell the GAL exagerations of things that happened ,
   trial is over case is settled ,
   However I am reasonably sure Mom can't stop trying to undermine me  and has some thing she will be trying to convince the couselor to report or do,
  My son had been and is now telling me about this counselor and how they play with puppets etc and talk ,
  Again this worries me as too what this is all about !

  1 is there any thing I need to do ?
    2 should I talk to the counselor ?
       The reason this bothers me is she has already went the direction of trying to accuse me of being a pedophile . Briefly the result was I passed Polygraph testing , She failed , the issue was swept under the carpet and mom then went to play it off like this was just a little mistake .
    so you better believe I am a little leary of this play therapy my 7 Yo son has been going too !
    3 Any thought's about this type of thing ?
   4 should I make this counselor aware of this history of allegations ?
  5 Can I request copies of the couseling records ?
#5
Dear Socrateaser / Parenting plan
Oct 24, 2005, 12:13:30 AM
Already posted ': I have an answer from you
  The second part of parenting plan modification question
 The plan states at 1st grade winter vacation is reviewable
 You wrote :'" For parenting plan modification  I have to show it is in the best interest of the child :
   Don't laugh : It seems the court would see this But it seems a laughing matter
  So I am trying to get a direction on what My modification will say  for how it is in the best interest
   First :
1  What do I do to show the best interest ?
2 : Just write why I think so In My declaration ?

 Here's My Idea ,Remember I said don't laugh at a argument that should be plain and valid !
  So Is this a valid reason?
4 Because Boy's should have more time with  a dad that love's them ?
5 Because  the winter Chum salmon run is on and My son likes to catch fish with me ?
  See what I mean Maybe these are not on the right page, But it seems logical to me ,As I have many memories of salmon fishing with My Dad And its seems to be .  Recreational salmon fishing is in the better interest because its a good ole Male thing to do , And he likes it and its a good role model as far as doing recreational things :
   The reason I say don't laugh is because it seems to me often times the court doesn't look at simple reality :  Boy's need Dads " And this is a free Un oppressed nation :
  But when dealing with the court there seems to be a different set of reasoning, Not way out there , But in a way different than common sense
  A further explanation is Very few women fish , Or teach a boy to be a sportsman ; or understand boyish behavior
  Wich is equivocal to Me teaching a girl how to use her Barby Dress up Toy's :
  My entire commentation seems to be a logical reason for me to have winter break
    6 does any of my post provied a reason in the best interest ?

 
#6
Dear Socrateaser / parenting plan .
Oct 09, 2005, 09:34:12 PM
There are a couple of parenting Plan  issues I would like to simplify :
   This is an example of last year
   Before Xmas I   have My Thursday  three hour visit , And then  My   weekend , was On the weekend of Xmas ; So son comes over Thursday , Goes home : Comes over friday Goes to moms xmas eve . Stays at moms  Xmas Day till 7pm and then comes back to my house , As Holiday schedule states a Holiday is over at 7Pm , Goes to moms 5Pm Next day  Sunday,
 There are a couple of Issues like this that makes for a bunch of driveing , Last year mom agreed to a more reasonable schedual ,
    As odd as it is ,the GAl recomended Holidays to not be overnight , then at 1st grade Summers graduate to 4 weeks,And there is a provision that say's ( Winter school vacation) can be revisited at 1st grade  ; I would like to Have my son more during winter because My work is a bit slower in the winter , And very busy in the summer Because I now do more intereior carpentry , And people don't do much remodel work near the holidays ,
I am In Pierce county washington




1, How do I change minor issues in a parenting plan after a Judge has
 signed off ?

2: Or should I just wait till these other issues with 1st grade come into play and bring all the changes up at the same time ?
 
3 : Is there any suggestion you have ?
 
4: Is the court only going to address the Issue the parenting plan say's could be addressed at the first grade ?
#7
Dear Socrateaser / Dishonest GAL
Jan 13, 2004, 01:10:29 AM

     The GAL In my case has distorted information  that I gave her , I have found that there have been other cases she has done this on and Have spoke to one person that filed a grievance , the grievance achieved nothing , Even though he and his wife were witness to different info
 
      1 , If I file a grievance can there be repercussions as far as My relationship to my child ? [ Although My case has been to trial]

      2, who reviews a grievance? [ Pierce county superior court ]
        washinton state
      3 Is there any other avenue to handle a Bad GAL?
       
      4 , Would there be any use to all of the affected people to file together
      5 would there be any use to a group effort through an atty
#8
Parenting Issues / boy's and punching
Oct 16, 2005, 10:05:52 PM
Ok Here's the deal , I come from a rough and tumble family .  Hard sports are in !
   SOOOS My record 12 -5-7by KO
  Ok So I teach My son to punch , He is 6 yo ,  But Encourage this as a sport with boxing gloves on , He is quite coordinated , And caught on quite well ,I have friends and their children also have the gloves on a bit , I also wrestled , And kick boxed and teach Him How to rough house , He has quite an advantage ,
   The problem is He seems to derive power out of it and take advantage  Of other kids his age ,
  I absolutely do not Teach him that it is Ok to Be  Mean ,  I teach and rough house with him , and reinforce the sporting nature of it all ,
   And specifically Tell him not to rough up other kids ,
    He  tends to go the wrong direction with it . I don't think this is way out of the ordinary , Many Dads wrestle with their boys ,
 My deal is just a little on the skilled side ,
   So what do ya think as far as how to make the distinction? , I have talked to him a few times and he seems to get it , But then once in a while he gets kind of rough with other kids , He seems to want to win ,
#9
Alright it's self explanatory , Any Idea's about getting them to eat vegetables ,
   The age old battle
#10
Any one file to force the custodial ( Mom ) to sign a release for counseling records ?
   Please answer in the form of what was filed in Wash state Thank you !
#11
General Issues / vegetables
Jul 22, 2005, 11:26:31 PM
Any Idea's one getting My son to eat his vegetables ? He is 5 YO And has what seems to be the typical arguments ,
#12
General Issues / Gun rights
May 04, 2005, 11:20:46 PM
After the false Allegations and protection order , The psycho went and tried to renew the Protection order , Then the commissioner said he didn;t believe her story and  sent the case over to family law, We settle out of court but psycho insisted there be a mutual restraining order , the problem IS , When I called for property release of my guns , They told me because there were the words Threatening in the order , the Brady bill automatically is checked off and I would not get My guns back , So the Psycho has the same verbage in the mutual restraining order As I do But they did not check off Brady Act . So she gets her guns back , I go to get My guns back . With exactly the same verbage and Brady act is checked yes , And I don't get My guns back !Any one know any thing about this ?
#13
My case Has been settled By a real judge for over one year now , And I had some other minor drama , I know many of you have read My post's , I have been through all the crap that many of you still face , But It's almost 'dd'that the drama and worry and trouble is over , I even told My atty , Heck she doesn't even seem to be  trying to cause any chaos lately , , He said "It's because all the court action is over"However I have A feeling she's going to be  a punk about my vacation time, As she was last year , And Its time for her to choose her vacation time first , And she hasn't ,  However this drama isn't even a big deal this time she knows I'll take her to court in a second any way ,  , The drama of it all is over for me , It will be buiseness as usuall , and If she doesn't cooperate The thought of another court date almost seems like the thing to do for excitement , And I usually Got something each time ,  SOOO the real question is  , Anyone deal with the lack of chaos , And it seems wierd ?, It's buiseness as usuall and I am for the most part worry free about my son ! And my visits , Again I say except for the minor crap , Since I took her to court sooo many times, she seems to have learned , And has not even tried to interfere with any of my visits , I talk to her very little at the transfer ,  And I just don't think after the whole court battle and her every allegation she could dream up,that there are any new allegations she could come up with , I guess thats the good thing about a real dip ,  I can't think of any new tricks she could try to pull ,,ANY thoughts out there on the absence of Idiot behavior?
#14
Visitation Issues / GOOD NEWS
Dec 17, 2006, 07:50:33 PM
After all the Years of BS I came back to say Mom IS cooperating with My request for winter and spring break , And put in writing a Plan Herself ,
    Why we may ask , Cause I quit Talking or fighting with her , And when She did ,I did what My atty told me too On My own , wich Is To do Chain Mail to her atty About the Issues , [After trial ] He said to do this so she gets the Bill Every time something stupid happens, And I send the Fax to her atty with out My atty , So she gets a bill I don't !1
   The good thing is I will be skiing , With My son ,
#15
Visitation Issues / Cooperation ! How wierd ?
May 07, 2005, 11:23:38 PM
 Last year vacation arrangements were a fiasco , Of course and My atty had to get involved .
   So this year she starts out with similar lack of cooperation and lack of communication or responses ,
    SOOO ! I followed My atty's advice and sent the notice of vacation to her atty , And asked to have  A copy sent back , Stamped recieved !
   It took a while then she just agreed .
     I think she just agreed because I had previously just followed My atty;s advice , And when she does something stupid try to make it into a continued  Comunication with her atty ,And I always leave something out so he has to send letters back and forth , And  My atty Said " she will get tired of paying her atty for attempting to be uncooperative , And It seems to have worked ! Instead of haveing her atty write nasty letters she just replied with <
   ' I agree To your proposed dates . And gave me her vacation dates
. My atty has explianed " there are way's to modify behavior " And Her haveing to pay her atty for three or four letters over vacation will get old and she will begin to cooperate !
   I am glad I have a cool atty . He did advise I do something to cost her a lot of money , Like around ten thousand ,
   He said " She will stop messing with you if you do it ! I won't say what . But I never did it , I should have !
#16
      last year I tried to give psycho her vacation notice in writing , She has her boyfriend all pumped , He gets out of the car gets inches from My face and tries to tell me They are not accepting the papers , " wierd " And to go through attys , Bla Bla , I told him to grow up " So  My atty send s the vacation letter , it was done .
   SOOOOO this year its her turn to put in her vacation papers  By April 1st , Of course she hasn't > so I call her atty . . She calls and leaves a message , Bla bla Nothing gets settled , So My atty told me to  get the Vacations dates stamped , Recieved from her atty . they promptly did And My atty said to send her the letter , i did ,
      NO response , so My atty said if theres no response , " You didn't get a letter objecting. so take him on vacation ", My dates of vacation are made to start on my visitation day , so I will have him ,
      Any expirience With this type of crap ? Maybe she thinks if she doesn't repond then she doesn't have to do it ? I guess I will never figure it out , But I garuntee she will be back in court if she screws this up ,
#17
Visitation Issues / Looking Back then to now
Feb 10, 2005, 10:46:28 PM
Hey I like to come back here to post stuff , I like to help people through this , So Let Me start
     My case  was a similar nightmare As every case posted on here ,

     1: There were every allegation made ever was made . Pedophile , Stalker , Abusive .  She said I was doing all this to get back at her / I had some thing for her , And I didn't want any thing to do with her .
 Blah Blah !
     I went through all the turmoil that only we know , And ONLY  A person thaT has to face the potential horror Of this system ,
       She tried to tell the doctor the school and every one else that the court order gave her custody and not to cooperate with Me
   
      2 , My expirience, broke down to the simple terms that would prevent  A 1000 page book are this , And it is very hard to do . When some one is attacking me and my personality ,My intentions , And My motives ,The worst, is Trying to use these attacks to be vendictive and interfere  With My relation ship to my son , And I will say one thing that is very deep , Every one here knows there is no other form of true unconditional Love and acceptance as we have for our own Innocent little children
   So Here are the smart things I have done, and later the stupid things I did ,

 Smart , Filed again and again to get the issue straightened out, And used the court process , I for the most part did what the GAL the court and the supervised visitors asked me to do and was nice to them . And in the end they mostly liked Me ,and it came out in the court reports ,. [MAKE ] the court and all its jesters your friend ,
     1 , Kept the BS  I say about her to all the legal entities to a minimum
     2, Said to the commissioner , I just want to see My son , And don't want to be into the mud slinging ,
      3,  Focused on Making my visits good By spending quality time with My son ,
       [A] Playing video games
        Going to a hobby store and getting a project to do together
            1. Being able to  describe these healthy activities to the Judge at trial ,
     Taking him to the park to ride His Bike ,
       [ C] Lying ???Yep Lying to My son and telling Him Mommy is ok
           Why ? Becuase I could see how uncomfortable it made him when I blew up and said something about her
         [D] Telling him ,that Mom and I are both smart , Mom is good at cookies And cake , And I am good at boy projects ,
        [E] Talked to  more than one psychologist About this and what to do about it ,
        [F] Derived from the psychologist that My job is to make My relation ship with My son as good as possible , And not to ask him about his moms sick crap or involve him
        [NEVER ]gave up
      [G]Always made my visits
      [h] Always tell my son I love him
       [ I] Fired A big blow hard atty and Hired one that wasn't trying to make a fight to win , But was a problem solver .
         [J]Talked to My atty about the Doctor and school, and found out that Because she had sole decision making doesn't mean I can't take my son to the doctor or go to school functions ,And talked to the doctor In real terms about what the parenting plan doesn;t prevent . It doesn't prevent me from asking about or haveing involvement  with school or doctors , Being nice  and patient to the school and doctors
   
   Stupid things I did
         I did not do it all right And these are the things that seems to be what hurt me
         1. Blew up and said she was a rotten Bitch in front of my son . Of  course this got repeated to her and she took My son to the GAL and coached him to repeat what I said , YOU WANT The GAL to get the picture that you say goods things to the kids ,
         2. Talked to my son about what was going on ,  [they just want to be happy]
         3.  Talked to people on her side about this carelessly , And this got back to her , And then she gets the chance to tell that I was trying to do things to her or her reputation , This looks bad , My advice on this one [ ASK an atty before you do any of this ,
         4, Told the GAL too much  crappola about her, It  back fires because psycho's are better liars than all of us , And they can turn any thing around
         5, Did not realise that the court and all of the courts jesters are not some intelligent being that has some special knowledge , And they are dangerous when armed with too much info
        ^6 Did not realise that it is way better to show that I am a good parent, then to spend My time trying find bad things about her ,. [IF ] 'They' are thwarting the court will see it , Even as  Minimally competant as the court is, If your slate is clean, and they are telling stories that don't pan out it's way better than letting them get you to react.
    Yeah this is like  torture or something where you have to let Snails crawl all over you and hold still and be nice , And if you react and kill the snail . YOU ARE A SNAIL KILLER !! Its freeking wierd, but the point is If you react it will be used against you ,!
     In the end at trial , the judge did see the picture , And The Judge commented ,  She said " I think Mr   WI___   was reacting to some of this , And I will not be giving mom Atty fee's .
    I also made the mistake of admitting some stupid he said she said crappola , Don't do this . Be ready to say [if Asked]" did you say mom was a bitch" , Say No "
     The big picture is that these people are sick and tired of the day in day out crapp , Does any one here really think that in the years that this family law court game that is played out, that you have reinvented the " ALLEGATION' Or your EX has !!! , NOPE , this is regualr day in day out crapp , SO the deal ,is deny her allegations and say you want the kids to live with you and be a good parent ! , This is sooooo difficult to stand under this pressure and try to be a LADY or a Gentleman ,But it seems to Me that this is what the court thinks, should be happening , Talk about stand reason On its head !! Wierd system , After My case It seems to me the court would say , SHUT the F up you idiots , Where's the proof or shut up and get out of My court , But this is not the way the game is played , Its like we have to play along and pretend this is not toture ,
    So My next comments are Get use to it . Get a parenting plan In place that tells who gets what when and where , And the best advice I have from people that have been through this is , Follow the parenting plan , to the T , And If they don't ,they are in contempt , And file immediatly , Then they will know you are serious about your time with the kids ,  And get on with life , And do the best with the kids , . My psycho has tried a number of stunts even after trial . And My atty lets me respond to her atty My self , Buy a fax maching , And respond to the Bs like a problem solving adult , And if you have a question ask your atty ,, She has come up with allegations that are not even what the parenting plan say's so I have had to fax copies of the parenting plan to her atty , [as ] ridcoulous as it seems . And she gets charged By the page,. But I have found that if I just send back a realistic reply Not admitting to any exagerrated and implied infractions , Her atty usually goes quiet and is glad for the extra Billing her gets out of her ,
    And My next piece of advice is read the parenting plan through a time or two peridically , My atty say's if the plan doesn't specifically rule on something, it is not a violation , So Read the plan and be nice and play along And don't pick fights over every issue , Just send a letter trying to work a solution and be civil , They will try to not cooperate , It seems to be there job , And It boils down to ,does the Parenting plan say so , If it does then send a letter that say's this is what the plan say's and I intend to pick up the little one on the proper dates and times and I will see you there , Not threats , And If they don't show file contempt . My situation is to some minimal level of occasional Harrassing letters etc , And I respond and deny it and say thats not what the plan say's or what ever, And so far I get My visits .  So My conclusion Is I have had all the BS and I followed My attys advice and kept her feet to the coals on every visit ,  I did pull one trick on her just to FXXXCK with her and I arranged for a Traded day for our visit , Then I  Showed for the regular visit and , Said she wasn't there and told My atty to file contempt , It didn't really work out , But  Her atty made her give a makeup day , And she realised that I could pull tricks and file crappola with the court too ,And she alluded To some stupid thing once I can't remmeber what, But it was shortley after My trick , And I smirked and said there;'s alway's a contempt hearing . And she  Said " I know you will" And the last Issue costed her  $1,200 , And she cooperated , This is enough , I could tell many stories , But the bottom line is this , The worst thing I ever did is things from anger , Or someting to her , the court see's this as the persons fault that did it , they don't always see that both peopl are doing the crap . The best thing to do is just be a good parent , All this will pass . And as I went through it , I can hear the next poor Non custodial parent , saying I'm being treated like a criminal , It's unjust , Why Go through the courts bullshit , I have rights . Well ! Get use to this , The court has an obligation to use its proces because there really are some people that Are wierdo's to Kids , And I gather that the court Is just a test to see if you can functionally play the Game , So My two cents is . PLAY the GAMe Like a sport and a gentleman , And Get them to like you , And you will fare much better than Bitching about the system , They hold the cards , And wether you like it or not You now have to play this game , Play it with a smile and a friendly attitude , , As My atty say's "   You want them to have the impression that you aren't the kind of person that the psycho say's you are "
#18
Father's Issues / TGB
Mar 03, 2006, 08:25:59 AM
I was on TGB's links page , And thelinks do not work , I don't know if it's your page or my computer ?
    The questions is about My legal rights to counseling records in Washington state
#19
Father's Issues / The Mythical Deadbeat Dad
Nov 15, 2005, 05:44:44 PM
I just read a post that used the term "Mythical Deadbeat Dad"
  Here's the facts as I personaly Know them ,
   My own Uncle was a bit a  party animal ,An Acquantance / Buiseness associate that lies to me about it . And My friend " A woman , Whom Unfortunatley has two Kids by two of the deadbeats ,
   Unfortunatley they exist and unfornatley , Some of this Deadbeat Syndrome is Born of this ridiculous legal system ,
   Personally I am Not ; I pay ,  But   The psychotic mother of My son , Would not respond to paperwork " I ' Sent to child support , She chose to go get an atty instead , So As Usual due the court costs and the child support Being established After the lengthy time it takes for the court And Atty's to get arounfd to my case , I was $10,000 In arrears ,
   And DUH !  My atty said " Don't pay it untill she responds " Well when she finally figured out through my Aggressive court action to get visitation , She then files papers to get child support Saying " Mr X has refused to support his child and now wants visitaion "
.
   At Any rate The root of the problem is the court , Atty's and the lying ,
    It seems the court didn't care about any of this any way , Basically they gave her child support and me visitation ,
   The problem that get's in the way is the expence to go through the court to get this all settled , I am Lucky I had some investments ,
  But here's the deal : I would want to see a factual study that show's how many father;s ran out of money trying to see thier kids , And wind up with Child support established by a free service ,
#20
Father's Issues / funny things kids say
Nov 22, 2004, 08:19:22 PM
My case is done I have visits and see my son regularly , Thanks to this site and support from others , This site encouraged me to coninue contact and Gave Me vital information about PAS , Most important I believed what The article said , That I have to keep contact to Stop the mothers indoctrination , And I have , It seems that My son has adjusted and knows Mom's just saying that crap ,
   Here's the most wonderful thing he has said that reinforces keeping contact NO MATER WHAT !!     He said   " I know My mom is kust saying that  about But I can see that it is not true"
   The funniest thing he said ,, Of course Mom's boyfriend Is a dork , And apparently tol My son all about how He would go to a very painful heel if My son was a bad boy , Mind you they obviuosly have zero knowledge of the Bible , And I Had been very involved in studies of the Bible , SOOO Here was My answer.   Hell Is a figurative place , It was used as a word To describe where some tribe ? Burned there garbage outside of town , the place is called Haides ,    I also told him I have studied the dead sea scrolls and know that Many things are said In a figurative sense for the purpose of teach ,and it is likely that " The burning hell Was used for the description of The inner turmoil that goes on during a  Internal moral struggle ,
   Of coures My 5 YO only could grasp parts of this And said ,
   Fig-  ur - a-  tive   How do you say that?
I said 'figurative' ,

  He said Is that because You can't    Figure -it -out !! I of course was stifling My laugh , And he said . Dad I know your laughing , I  Tried to deny it , Becaue I wasn't laughing out loud , But he said " I know your laughing because the way you are moving your body like you are laughing ,    ..   NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR KIDS AND BE THE GOOD PARENT  Because it seems to me they   Figure it out !!!!!
#21
Father's Issues / The wicked stepmother!
Dec 15, 2003, 07:09:06 PM
Howdy folks! This is my first post. I am Gipsy's wife of three years--most of which has been a living hell because of his son's mother. I'm sure you've heard from him about what a psycho b---- she is, and I couldn't agree more.

I testified at the trial on my husband's behalf. For you stepparents out there, be forewarned that any involvement you have in your stepchildren will likely be turned against you in court! Over the years I have been accused of being physically abusive toward my stepson. I've been accused of being the one to draft the parenting plan. I've been dismissed as a possible sitter for the child--even though it's okay that mom has sent the kid to eleven different sitters, including two different boyfriends. When I was asked in court to say why the boy would be better with dad, the opposing attorney said in his closing arguements that all I talked about was the mom, which was completely bogus! Everything I said had to do with the care of the child--HER care of the child! And of course, the things the mom said about me, like I made the child cry at the transfers and "it was horrible!", and like "thing are better because SHE'S not around" wasn't even taken into account. (Do I detect a little jealousy from the mom??) Nor did I get the opportunity to rebut her accusations (and that was my husband's attorney's fault).
 
Our first parenting investigator spent an entire 30 minutes interviewing me. Our second parenting investigator spent an entire 60 minutes with me. Now bear in mind that my husband has been accused of being a stalker, breaking into mom's house, beating her dogs until they were bloody, being violent, an abuser of women, of teaching his son to masturbate, of masturbating in front of his son, and of having anger management problems. He's been sent for anger tests, personality tests, and a polygraph test--which mom failed. You would think that after all that SOMEBODY would do their job and make a contact with the woman who lives with the bad guy! Yeah, right.

And you would also think that SOMEBODY would take into account that my daughter who lives in the same household and has progressed from age 11 to 14 during this time would be interviewed! Hah!

THEN mom shows up in court with a bunch of pictures showing all the fun things she and the boy go to. Duh! If we had more than 3 1/2 days PER MONTH to go do things all over the state like she does, we'd have some fabulous pictures too! And it was mom who refused to let the boy go with us to Disneyland last year because she thought nine days would be too long to be away! Gosh, THAT got left out of the court proceedings.

Man, I feel for you guys out there that are dealing with crazy ex's. And if you are re-married, just know that's it is utterly painful for us wives to have to go through this with you. I've done nothing but try to help this crazy woman parent this child because she's not doing so well by herself. Any one who tells their child that "Daddy's going to hurt you" and "Daddy doesn't love you" needs to be locked away. But stepparents, you have to step back from all the BS and let the moms do the crazy thing and deal with it as best as you can. And guys, don't forget to tell your wives how much you love THEM too and how much you appreciate that they are sticking by your side. Lesser women (like the crazy mom) would run and hide.

Needless to say, we didn't win custody, and I have no peace about this at all! The mom is NOT going to quit trying to turn the boy against his dad. I told my husband to be prepared to pay for psychotherapy in the future. And I feel so bad for the little boy who is going to have to deal with his mother until he gets old enough to figure out that dad is not what mom says he is, and that maybe dad's house would be a better place to live.

And by the way, there is no earthly justice. The court system stinks, and so do attorneys.

Sign me--The wicked stepmother.
#22
lesson one !
     bullshit presented to the GAL is [basically ] given credit by the judge
     Bullshit presented to the psych evaluater is basically given credit by the judge
  the judge seems to not pay too much attention to all the bull you say about each other ,
   the thing I think that tossed some of the credibility of the crappy psych eval out the window was I had some witnesses that said i was liked in the nieghborhood by every one etc. Then My parents came in and said good things about Me and My son . and My wife said good things , and said psycho buffaloed the GAL !  
    Heres the problem and I think I didn't get '  Make your self out to be the martyr and don't do anything wrong to the psycho! psycho's are good liars and game players and it seems the judge gave credit to her saying nice things about me,  Although she made all sorts of allegations  of domestic violence ,the good thing the judge said was She wasn't giving psycho 20,000$ in atty fees , because both sides have done things to each other , so the good thing is  Psycho spent a lot of money to wind up  with what could have been agreed  to 3 years ago,
   the info on the sparc site about evals is correct .'show your self to be a healthy person' But doesn't remind you that you will have to top the psycho, so evals are to be done with the martyr theory in mind, that is the most important part ,
      the judge did say this is a hard case , But due the fact that the evals said she was more healthy , and the GAl said she was doing a good job the judge said psycho retains custody I pick up at school and limit contact etc , Again no atty fee's because both parties do crap to each other ,
   what the judge believed that was lies , the GALs interpretation of interviewing my son after mom coached him , the mistake I made was he heard me say something derogutory about mom ,
    again I don't see it stressed enough on this site to play the martyr ,
   Make sure the kids don't think you have bad feelings about MOM, fake them out , You want them to report that you like the psycho !! trust me the way this case came down , If stated simply .  You are MR Manners to the kids you like mom and generate a feeling of good will to the kids , but still you have to deal with the mind bending of the mothers ,
     Her ploy at trial , After years of false allegations , just before trial there was a time when she pushed all the bullshit aside and behaved , and said all the crap is now behind , She wasn't making the trouble . And tried to say I was  making trouble by taking her to trial , so My atty brought up some ofher allegations , I think in the least showing her BS put a stop to atty fees ,
   so I guess to repeat . I feel that the most important thing a man can do in this wierd system is be spotless, project good will toward mom to the kids ,
    Another perspective is , if I NEVER reacted to her crap I would not have been considered as part of this conflict , So DON'T REACT !!!   they and there atty's know this psychos can do any thing and the minute you react you are part of the problem and are subject to exagerrated stories . Then they stand there at trial and say what to did do to create conflict,and its a big he said she said contest , the way to be out of that is realisethat all the stupid shit put aside , they look at the care of the child and not your bullshit ,
  I think  custody could have rolled the other way if I would have never reacted , then there would [just] be her allegations that of course went off the radar screen with zero [ZERO] witnesses at trial. then it would have been clear who was doing what , She was making false allegations , IF I did nothing to react then that would be the case , Again your reactions are magnified , and her bullshit will be minimised so give them nothing to magnify !!! its just the way we have to play as men , but Get every visit that is ordered or file contempt ,I'Ve had enough for the day Hope this helps ,I guess to add If it were just her lies we were looking at it would be different , But then they don't care much any way
   
#23
Ok I was screwed , Now at trial the judge asked for case laW OR A LAW THAT permits retro active child support adjustment , trial resumes monday , If any one has any case law to permit that .or knowledge please post , Please for now only post pertinant infoe this is for trial monday ,As A note for those of you that have read my posts about the psycho ,And her MANY ALLEGATIONS, she has shown at trial with no witnesss, Wow what a wierd deal , !! What a relief , I visioned her tryting to bring up a bunch of trumped up witnesses , My atty and I think this is a bit odd , will post later So far trial is good , Really nothing to argue since she hasn't brought a single witness ,Well please try to keep posts that pertain to wash state law for temp child support orders