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Messages - gipsy

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21
Parenting Issues / My son is five and he lies too !
« on: Feb 13, 2005, 06:36:43 PM »
My son told me he could jump over the roof , and fly over the fence , So I took him out side and said show me How you can jump  over the roof , And he said He couldn't . I had talked to a psychologist , and the Psychologist said , you don't have to make him feel bad about it iether , . Five is the age if lies , And My son also lies to get out of trouble , And By just talking  I try to give him an understanding, Like I Hold My clenched hand out and say , "If "I say there is candy here , And then I open My hand and show him an empty hand , and say , see I said there is candy and there is no candy , that is a lie to trick you , And He gets it a little ,But I try to use examples he can grasp . Like i say My face is purple , And he say's no its not , and I say Thats right, that means I am telling you some thing that you can see is not really true , And then I try to explain what lies are , Because I believe they need a firm foundation on knowing what is the truth and what isn't , Becuase the world of children is make believe , Look at cartoons with Johny Bravo flying through the air , And the powder puff Girls , My son makes up stories about flying , And we ask why ? On the other hand theyare kind of smart  also ,  And when they grasp what a lie is don't be trying to  alter things around them , Heres the short example ,
   Something happened that My son said and I was trying not to laugh at him ,And he said , " DAd ' You are laughing at me " I tried to say " no I'm Not " He said " Yes you are " Because when you try not to laugh your body alway's moves like that and you don't make any sound "
      I can't remmember exactly what was said next  . But after My talking to him about lies , He was now armed with the info and I remmember thinking Oops . I just told him about lies , And he knew I wan't being truthfull about My laughing at him , SO when you start in on this lie thing YA better watch out !!

22
Parenting Issues / RE: Report card question
« on: Feb 13, 2005, 06:09:48 PM »
I have had all the school  And Doctor problems . And I had to call the atty and ask what to do , Basically go to the school and Just ask for the right info .
    Here is what I learned , The school or Doctor doesn't want any trouble with any of this , Between you and the ex , And It seems that I have never had any problem getting the info from any of them , But  did what My atty said . " don't even talk about the ex , Just go get the info" ,  
 Try putting your self in there position , And you have two parents coming to the school or saying things to you , What would your position be ? Well after I have said a few stupid things about the CP at schools and doctors , I found out that they have to maintain a professional stance and They will not validate ,or discuss any problems , they will stay professional and discuss your child with you ! Other than that , I figure they probably know they should keep there mouth shut , And they will , I did have the doctor'S Nurse say one time ," SHE SAID "Not to give you any info , But we know It In His best interest for the Dad to have His health information , And then they said they don't want to be in the middle of this , etc etc , So My two cents , Just go to the school and be an adult that wants to Know about these report cards , Because you are going to look really stupid going up there saying that some one altered the card , And really a teacher made a mistake and it was corrected ,

23
Parenting Issues / Good link Brent!
« on: Feb 13, 2005, 05:49:37 PM »
I have been through the whole Game from beginning to false allegations to the end . And the link provided From Brent , And the links on this site Are Helpfull , And as I See it on the completed End of My case , Did help me , This type of thing is sort of like being blind sided , And This site helps to open up some info ,
      Best advice given to Me By my atty
    " spend more time trying to be the good parent then trying to show how bad the other parent is "
    This  Is what seems to have proved itself out at trial . there was not a lot of time spent trying to say how bad the mom was in My case  , And Even her atty who  comes on as the big bull dog atty , Did not spend a lot of time going over Things to discredit Me , Most of the trial and My testimony was about what I do with My son and How I treat him , And that was what was asked of My  witnesses ,No  atty asked .If I forgot His socks , Or was late for a transfer , Or missed a visit , Or If I gave Him food that he wasn't supposed to eat , But before trial all this stuff was written from her atty , and it was all written in Declarations and statement's , AND SEEMED LIKE A BIG DEALL  , But most of this crap is a waste of your time and the courts at trial . Its very difficult for us . Not being atty's to even know what will be important at trial ,But My general picture is , They are certainly going to need testimony that you are a good parent , think of it , You go to trial and every witness bores the Judge to tears about what a screw up mom is ,And At the end of trial how is the judge going to know that the Kid is in good hands at your house , The only way is for your atty to ask your witnesses ,  And Think of this , do you think the judge is going to want proof of what people say about the BAD MOM? , WELL YES!! So is there proof?   Then the second part is , The judge is going to pretty much listen to the Guardian ad Litem , So . Again read the link provided By Brent , As My expirience is , That Is pretty much true , And  think about this , Do you think the GAL's  Hear what a bad parent , Your ex is every time , The first GAL  Asked all the questions , And when I tried to say what I thought about the mom SHE SAID MAKE IT QUICK!!!    They don't want to hear it . Unless she is a criminal or the child is in danger , And the one thing the GAL was interested in was I said the MOM , Locks her self in th house and won't come out , And I wonder why , Then the GAL asked Me questions about If I thought the child was safe etc , While  bieng locked in the house with Mom , , But  other than that The GAl did not want to hear me say the Mom is a psycho and etc etc,

24
here's the deal with these evaluaters .
   1 , Don't assume they are intelligent or will get to the truth
   2, Do not in any way try to convince them of anything you think
   3, They have to come to there own conclusion
   4 as many have expierienced on this site , Evaluaters GALS And the like are Likely to be Fruit cakes with some wierd agenda of there own
   5 Ya don't handle snakes with your eyes closed
   6 , So why would you give a probable idiot too much info
   7 Take the high Road Wich is broken down below
     [ A], Spend way more time talking about the good relation ship that is going on at YOUR GOOD Home then what a screw up the other parent is ,  
        The reason is this , If the Mother is making up stories then Let the evaluater figure it all out , [IF) they can  , That way the Mother has the egg on the face for lying
        [C) What i figured out through out My case is this . If you involve your self in mudslinging What the court see's is exactly that MUD!!
        [D] If she is doing the Mud slinging and it comes out as untrue then It looks like she is causeing the problems
        [E] If you do a bunch of Mud slinging and she lies her way out of it , And I guaruntee If she is the psycho you say she is she is at Genius level Lying and game playing ,
        [F] If you are like most of us You are not a genius level liar
        [g] You will lose the mudslingers ball
         [H] So revert to #7 Take the High road
              And Spend your time being a normal Person and a good parent , Of course with out Trying to be so overly done that the evaluater Doesn't believe it .

         And the high road is this . I did this, do not do it , Do Not admit to ever doing anything that is a long time ago Or any time ago that is not a proven fact , And You can lie your ass off to the evaluater and tell a storie that is like you just walked out of the perfect childhood . the perfect marriage , and the perfect carreer , And they won't really be very likely to investigate Any of it , Let Me give you an example
    My case . Mom Sexually molested As a child, well know liar con artist home wrecker , Public exobitionism , Showed me her tits in the window , Offered Me blow Jobs , Came over . For back rubs and stipped her self naked .
   Went to the evaluater and told the evalueter this perfect storyof a balanced life , when every one that has Had Much to do with the psycho steers way clear of her and is glad to never see her again , And I would be too , Except I went over to investigate after her many offers of free sex,
   
   I went to the evaluater told the evaluater that I had talked to people that knew these things about her ,
     Mom goes to the evaluater and say's I had looked these people up and was the reason for their alienation toward her
   The evaluater took Moms side ,
    Mom also told the evaluater I had done a number of things that I did not do and produced a false letter to verify that I had been at her school Of Massage ,[Oh How that fits the behavior]And caused her to not get a job etc , at the school
    I told the evaluater to go to the school and verify the letter , He did not verify crapola . And reported in moms favor .
   I did none of the things she said I did , The end result was very little and the outcome was about what it would have been any way , There really wasn't any reasons for the court to see to change custody , As long as the court doesn't find this psycho as a complete psycho slut from hell , HE HE !!Ya right , So the bottom Line is take the high road . And stick to what the good things are at your house , It seems to me that  Other people on this site have expirienced the same , And it seems the more you try to talk bad about the other parent the less they like you , And again psycho's are experts at lying and twisting virtually any thing to beyond belief , , So do not arm a snake with anymore venom , Kill them with kindness , And then Maybe One tenth of it should be the real issues , about the killing Step mom and stuff , and the school,
  But if for one minute they think you are talking bad about the other parent in an effort to destroy there position You become the bad one , And I garuntee it , You are now A good parent , You are now a good parent , Repeat repeat !!! And so is hubby !! Repeat !  , And one last twist . DO NOT say any thing about this or bad about the mom to the kids , I made this mistake also , And MOM  Wore this into My sons brain , And he went to The GAL office and reported . And the GAL was so stupid she didn;t think it a bit odd that a four year old came to her office and reported that dad said moms a bitch several days later ? I'll kiss the ass of any one that can tell me a four year old remmebers what was said and who to go tell several days after the incident , I know my son Wasn't iven remmebering  Part sentences at that time . Let alon three day's later . Its a jacked up system . Its way more likely that  Less Is more [Get it] The less  Bull You do the more they look at who is reaaly doing the BS , I'm not saying don't tell the GAL about the crappola . But I am saying remmeber these people see this crap every day , And In my opinion Have to be a little jacked up to ever even want to exist in such a job , Beware of snakes , Just Be a good parent

25
General Issues / RE: My two cents worth
« on: May 10, 2006, 03:45:06 PM »
I have seen  My friends case were cigarett smoking was a factor with him getting custody from the mother ;
    I have seen where failing school was a factor in the Dad getting custody in another case ,
   So You need to get an atty that is very reall like mine and realise the simplicity of this type of case , wich is
    The judge may or may not decide in your favor for the issues at hand , BUT the judge would be likely to from what I have seen ,
    So if you get an atty like mine that basically just would say
" Get the school records " And the Asthma diagnosis ' To the judge " And see if mom admits to smoking around an asthmatic child .
 Think about it , smoking near an asthmatic child ! The judge used this in part of her decision in her written conclusion for a friend of mine and he won , So  to me its worth asking a few atty's And I said A FEW not just one !

26
General Issues / Fille what for counseling records ?
« on: May 09, 2006, 11:16:39 PM »
Any one file to force the custodial ( Mom ) to sign a release for counseling records ?
   Please answer in the form of what was filed in Wash state Thank you !

27
General Issues / RE: My two cents worth
« on: May 10, 2006, 03:45:06 PM »
I have seen  My friends case were cigarett smoking was a factor with him getting custody from the mother ;
    I have seen where failing school was a factor in the Dad getting custody in another case ,
   So You need to get an atty that is very reall like mine and realise the simplicity of this type of case , wich is
    The judge may or may not decide in your favor for the issues at hand , BUT the judge would be likely to from what I have seen ,
    So if you get an atty like mine that basically just would say
" Get the school records " And the Asthma diagnosis ' To the judge " And see if mom admits to smoking around an asthmatic child .
 Think about it , smoking near an asthmatic child ! The judge used this in part of her decision in her written conclusion for a friend of mine and he won , So  to me its worth asking a few atty's And I said A FEW not just one !

28
General Issues / Fille what for counseling records ?
« on: May 09, 2006, 11:16:39 PM »
Any one file to force the custodial ( Mom ) to sign a release for counseling records ?
   Please answer in the form of what was filed in Wash state Thank you !

29
General Issues / RE: Any Help Appreciated
« on: Apr 06, 2006, 11:16:24 PM »
I had a similar situation , Never married the psycho ; Thank God , But she too did the about face change , And suddenly I was the enemy :
  I don't know how this will pan out for you , But mine worked out that I Did a paternity test . And He is Mine , And from there on had to forces her by court order to allow a relationship between my son and I ,  I am going to guess you are in the same boat ,
   I found the whole thing to be very disturbing that some one can change so absolutley ,  And they are so goodat blaming you ,
  My advice is too put this in the category of cut your losses ,
 And My deal is too not really talk to the psycho and the better it is . It is absolutely impossible to reason with some one like this , So don't try to reason it out , My deal is don't talk to her just put it in writeng and then go to court if she dissagree's

30
General Issues / My Take...on this
« on: Mar 21, 2006, 09:36:54 PM »
To keep it really simple : It appears to me that some people really search for Drama in their lives , And What seem to be the best is to  intentionaly not give them any reason to create drama ,
   And what really F@##% 's up my psycho is stick with facts . And I mean the simple ones :
  As In I have a right to School counseling and medical records ,
  So I ask her for the name of the Counselor , She starts off with the Drama , I say , I have a legal right to it  By the laws of the state of washington  , Talk to your atty ,and walk away ,
   No Drama .  She must have talked to her atty ,.and then gave me the info ,
  She has been Dramatic about every issue , And the Commissioner and the judge has decided what they decide and her drama has done her no good , And has costed her money , I have learned to do the necessary things leave the rest out , And take her to court on the legal issues ,
  She has had no reason to start up a drama scene and I have little problems with her , SOOO
   My two cents , Don;t talk to her or engauge her . or even acknowledge her , And she has no reason for the drama , When you get use to this then it is better ,  .
  Then if she follows the usuall she will pull the kids into the Drama and then  the kids will be saying things that let you know she is doing this ,
 Don't act on this in any way that the kids will repeat any thing to her , See I think the sicko's even go for the third party drama through the kids , DON"T do this either !! ,, When I tell my son good things about his mom It seems to deflate the whole thing ,
 

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